30 Things I Should Do

Not Afraid

2011-02-25T13:39:00.000-08:00

Holy crap. Life? I'm not going to get into it with you right now. I have a lot of things going really well in my life right now, but I have one thing that's bugging me. A lot. And it sucks. This is not the appropriate forum for it, but you know it's bad when you hear Eminem and your brain says, "HELL YEAH, Slim Shady! Tell it!" So I just wanted you all to have this song to bring you power on a Friday afternoon.

SOTD: Not Afraid by Eminem. I'm not afraid to take a stand. Everybody, come take my hand. We'll walk this world together- through the storm, whatever weather, cold or warm. I'm lettin' you know that you're not alone. Holla if you feel like you've been down the same road!

Double Down!

2011-02-03T15:28:00.001-08:00

Dear Blizzard of '11,

Really? You are SO SWEET! Yes, I know you're a week early, but a massive blizzard a week before my birthday resulting in the doubling down of snow days in my life? I mean seriously. SO thoughtful. I couldn't have ASKED for a better present. I thought Wednesday was a nice treat, but throwing in some Thursday madness, meaning that I only have to work one more day this week? It's just above and beyond, and I LOVE YOU for it. Mwah!

This is my backyard. Under that umbrella is a table. No seriously. The drifts back there are taller than I am.

After an evening of drinking with my fellow snow day revelers, I felt the need to invade this awesome fort down the block. No one dared take me on. Also, have you ever WITNESSED thundersnow? It is a phenomenal thing...worth a lot of shots. I'm sure you can picture that scene.

We have a new snow blower for my building. His name is Killer, and he sprayed snow above 1st story windows. I found this hilarious.

That car is not driving. That car has been abandoned because it simply cannot continue to move forward. Most of the streets in my neighborhood have not been plowed, so there is nothing but buried cars and foot paths down the middle of the streets. It's the kind of thing that makes me so happy that I don't have a car.

Snow pictures are hard to take, especially when there's a glare, but can you see how cool that shape is? There were so many crazy shaped snow drifts. I went to the park and played for a long time, even though it resulted in me being ass deep in snow a few times.

Yay snow!

SOTD: Snow Patrol (because DUH) Take Back the City. It just seems appropriate.

Bonus song because it was stuck in my head when looking at all of the abandoned cars all over the place: Road to Nowhere by Talking Heads.

The Nerdiest Nerdy Nerd

2011-01-30T18:59:00.000-08:00

SO!

Last night, it was finally the night to go see Good Old War. I was excited, and realized that I never go to concerts anymore, and that is a bit sad. So anyway, Skylar and I go and we get seats because we're no longer "mosh pit chicks", in case that was even a possibility at this show. (It wasn't.)

They came out, and did a really great show. At one point, the drummer was playing an accordion and playing the drums AND singing. Very impressive. I was totally happy at this point- I wanted to see them, and there was only one more song I wished they had been able to do in their too-short set.

Then Guster comes out, and I like Guster. But I'm not any sort of die hard Guster fan. And the singer kept saying things, and then the crowd would go APESHIT, and Skylar and I were like, "Why are we missing all of the inside jokes?" So after we'd heard all of the songs we were interested in (except Amsterdam) we decided to take off. (I'm old. Shut up.)

I wanted to buy the Good Old War cds on my way out, so we stop at the merch table, but right when we're walking up, I realize that the lead singer is standing there selling the merchandise. So I try to catch Skylar's eye to make sure she's seeing that, and she's so not reading my mind, which is really frustrating.

(Side note: He looks like Charlie Day from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and Skylar is in LUV with Charlie Day, and had called dibs on this singer earlier in the evening. She was BLOWING her chance!)

Anyway, so I walk up to the table, and immediately lose any bit of cool that I've ever had.

"Um...hi. Hi. I um, yeah, I want your cds. Yeah, both of them, can I have them? Huh huh. Cool, thanks." Then they couldn't take my credit card, so I hit up my Sugar Mama Skylar for some cash, right at the moment when she has figured out who I'm talking to, so she can't concentrate on the words coming out of my mouth at that moment. It's insanely awkward, then out of nowhere, she pulls out some cash and throws it on the table and says, "Bla-dow." At which point, I pretty much lose my shit, so we grabbed the cds, and walked out like we still had everything under control and got approximately 3 feet out the door before completely falling apart.

Note to self: You and Skylar are not ever to attempt to meet celebrities. You will fail miserably at talking.

It was awesome. I'm a huge nerd.

SOTD: We've Come A Long Way by Good Old War. This is for Skylar- we've come a long way, baby.

Bonus song for any other Pack fans living south of the border: The Bears Still Suck by the Happy Schnapps Combo. As I told my students this week, as far as I'm concerned, I have had my Super Bowl. Next week is just gravy.

#29- Sneak attack!

2011-01-17T11:23:00.000-08:00

Just when you thought I had forgotten all about this list, I go and cross off another thing.

I went ice skating at Millennium Park last night. What should have been one of the easiest things turned out to be really hard due to the fact that most of my friends are apparently afraid of falling down. Losers.

But I went, and I didn't fall and I even tried to skate backwards. It was like being 7 again when I tried to learn the Moonwalk. Except less coordinated, and probably way funnier had I been watching me.

No pictures, but I have a witness. That's all I am going to say about that for now. Be proud of me!

SOTD: Running on Ice by Billy Joel. Not entirely related, but it says ice.

And because I've been doing it a lot, a Good Old War song- Weak Man. I just like it. I get to see them on the 29th! Stalker time!

Thankful

2010-11-29T07:25:00.000-08:00

I'm home sick today, and to cheer myself up I decided to make a list of what I'm thankful for (since I didn't get around to it last week.) This is probably going to get sappy.

1. I'm thankful for my freedom and independence. Every time I get a bit down about the pathetic state of my love life, I remind myself that my single existence is what allows me to do things like take 4 big trips over the summer or take a sick day that means I can lay on the couch all day without bothering anyone or worrying about infecting others. So while I do get lonely sometimes, there are a lot of perks here, including the fact that I'm already looking into flights for another Europe trip this summer. Plus a trip to Martha's Vineyard in July.

2. I found a career that I love. This is not to say that I don't have rough days or days when I long for a break, but for the most part I love my time with the kids. I feel like it matters whether or not I show up for work. I feel like I'm good at what I do.

3. My family and friends. I've always liked that saying about your friends being the family you choose for yourself. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by people who love and support me unconditionally on a day-to-day basis and in a forever kind of way. I get to travel far and wide because I have people who want me around and welcome me into their homes. That is not a bad thing.

4. My bikes. It's a better way to see the world and work to keep my butt smaller. Win-win.

5. A re-found love of cooking. It makes life so much easier.

6. My DVR. Guess what I'm doing today!

SOTD: Tymps (Sick in the Head) by Fiona Apple. Because I'm a bit sick in the head at the moment. Sinuses, if you want to be specific.

Sacrilege

2010-11-14T16:27:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I went to see the Jim Henson exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry with ... hm, perhaps I should not name names on the internet when you see what I'm about to tell you. Let's just call them "Mylar" and "Skeryn."

(See, I'm sneaky. No one will break that code if they know my friends.)

So anyway, I'm reasonably certain that it is scientifically impossible to not feel happy when you're looking at anything Muppet related. They are just so awesome and they are there to teach you happy things. Then you remember that Kermit's eyeballs are ping pong balls and it only gets better from there.

Then Mylar says, "Damn, Jim Henson was HOT back in the day. I'd for sure hit that." And then the whole thing goes down the drain because then Skeryn is like, "Why is he on a sex sled in that picture?" and then it all goes porno from there and small children are being shielded from the weirdo perverts (one of which is a preschool teacher) and nothing is funnier than realizing other people can hear you when you are being a truly horrible human being. And that does nothing to clean up your language. The words pig's vagina were used more times than I care to count. You've got to watch out for that stuff.

Also, did you know that the Fraggles were invented to teach kids about respecting diversity? Can you believe that we were learning that stuff without even knowing it? Damn, that Henson was smooooooth. I never even saw that coming.

You should go if you can. I'm sorry to everyone I offended with that, but it was amazingly funny.

Other side note: you know how sometimes one random line in a tv show will make you laugh for hours and hours and it's just not as funny to everyone else? My shout out goes to 30 Rock this week for the line, "Be bad at snapping. Got it." I almost peed, then I said it all day when it doesn't make any sense to any conversation I was having. Because I'm topical like that.

SOTD: Stay By My Side by Good Old War. Because I'm obsessed, in case you missed it.

Also, Split Screen Sadness by John Mayer because it was stuck in my head for like 3 days this week, and I don't know why. I mean, I love that song, but John Mayer has just been so douchey lately that I feel like I should really be giving him the cold shoulder but I just can't.

Procrastination station

2010-11-07T19:16:00.000-08:00

Someone on this blog is supposed to be writing progress reports.

That same person just doesn't waaaaaanna. But they are due on Friday, and if I *ahem*, if SHE doesn't get them done now, this week is going to suck huge donkey balls.

So...what did you guys do all weekend?

Ok, fine. I'll get to work. But first, I will share two things:

1- the movie Due Date is even worse than you think it will be, even if you were just looking for a way to kill time.

2- I'm newly obsessed with the band Good Old War. I want everything they've got, but this is my work computer and it doesn't have iTunes. The one that does is being fixed so I can't download and listen obsessively. My life is really hard you guys.

Oh, and if you want a blogger who is much funnier than I am and posts way more regularly, check out www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com. I don't know her or anything, but my friend sent me the link and it made tears come out of my eyes because I was laughing almost as hard as I did when one of my kids peed on his own face last week. (That is a true story.)

Happy Daylight Savings End!

SOTD: That's Some Dream by Good Old War. I'm gonna live, I'm alright, I'm gonna die, it's alright, I'm okay.

Checking in

2010-10-17T18:47:00.000-07:00

Jay had some comments for me about the fact that I haven't updated this in awhile.

You know that saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"? That's sort of where I'm at these days. I'm fine, just stuck in my cranky pants. But I'm trying to get those cranky pants off, so here are a few good things I have to share:

1- I've officially lost the 30 pounds I said I would when I started this. You know, 2 1/2 years ago.
2- I did a breast cancer walk this morning, and it was a beautiful day and it made me feel better than I thought it would. Yay inspiration.
3- Congrats on finishing the marathon, Jay!
4- I get to go home this coming weekend for the first time since June. I'm so excited- it'll be a girls only thing with my friends, PLUS I'll get to see my mom and the way things have been going, I've just sorted of needed some Mom Time. I know for a fact her freezer is full of delicious baked goods. I know how much I was gone this summer, but I'm ready for a break from here again.

To make up for my lack of posts lately, I will offer you the three songs that I've been listening to all day. None of these are really new or exciting but I have my reasons.

My Own Sinking Ship by Good Old War. "Why can't I just be alright? Why can't I invade your mind?"

Miles Behind Me by Hotel Lights. "Nobody saw you fall- miles behind me." Honestly, this is because it's in the movie Baby Mama, which I watched this week while I was home sick from school.

Two Weeks by Grizzly Bear. Really, you should watch this one because it's amazing and this guy just did it in his spare time- he didn't get paid for it! Some people have too much talent and too much time on their hands.

Jay, are you happy? T-rel, you're up.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation Parts 3-5

2010-09-06T12:01:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it's Labor Day, which means that summer vacation is officially over tomorrow, and I figure I should wrap this up so I can start something new.

So I got back from Europe and spent two weeks at home visiting my family and local friends and doing some school stuff. (And obviously, a lot of couch time. That's how I roll, yo.) Then it was off to Lake Placid for a week to visit my friend Ali and have some good hiking time and seeing a new part of the world. Can't say I've ever spent much time in the Adirondacks, but I like 'em.

This is the actual Lake Placid. It's beautiful and clear and COLD. The mountain in the background is called Whiteface. Did I make all sorts of racist mountain jokes about that? Yes. Yes I did.

This is me, in front of the sight of the Miracle on Ice. (You know, the hockey game where the US beat Russia and ended communism or something close to that.) I'm blatantly talking to someone in this picture. Good stuff. Lake Placid, as a town, is all about the Olympics.

After Lake Placid, I came home for 10 days. Stocked my fridge, hung out with my neighbors and friends, hit the Wisconsin State Fair with my folks, then packed up again and headed out to CO for Jaden's first birthday. As you can see above, I'm the best auntie ever. Not only do I show up, I day drink while I'm "watching" the kid, and make sure that we toast. Jaden needs to learn such things early.

While I was there, we may or may not have borrowed a canoe near a lake completely legally and went for a spin around the lake. It was beautiful. I also did some amazing mountain biking, but forgot the camera, so the lake picture is all you get.

After CO, I was home for a day and a half (seriously) before I headed to NYC!

And finally, on this, my 5th (ish?) trip to NYC, I went to see the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. I have been so many times and never done any of the touristy stuff other than wandering Central Park. I also went to see American Idiot on Broadway, which was amazing. Still glad I never lived there, but I do like to visit that city.

But now I'm broke and tired and ready to start school. I wasn't ready until the other day when I met some of my new students, and now I feel like I just want to get this party STARTED. I've got some new ideas to write about here, so we'll see if I can make myself do it. I hope everyone else's summer was fabulous and now that I'm home, we should catch up. No seriously.

SOTD: Airplanes by Local Natives. Because I feel like I spent a disproportionate amount of time on airplanes this summer, and this song has been stuck in my head for about a week now.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation Part 2: France

2010-08-30T19:04:00.000-07:00

After a few days of mooching off my brother in Amsterdam, I headed to France to spend a few days in Normandy to do a D-day tour and go to a friend's wedding, then one day in Paris, just because I could. Note to self: Marry a Frenchie. They throw awesome weddings and they have the best wine and cheese.

This is actually the key to our hotel room in Bayeux. How cool is that?

This is seriously what it looks like when you walk around in Bayeux. I think that's just someone's house. One night we were just out wandering around, and out of nowhere this choir showed up and started singing. It is bizarre and magical and beautiful. Also, we were pretty drunk, but it really did seem like magic.

Again, wine makes things funnier, but my friend Susan bought these and then pointed out, "Ok, so does anyone else notice that these are called 'Fingers' and it looks like the package says, 'Fondle'?" Best cookies ever.

If you were a D-Day soldier, you would know that this is the map of where all of the attacks had to happen. I can't make any sense of it, and it was explained to me in detail. It's amazing what people are capable of. This is on the wall of a memorial that will break your heart and make you cry, but if you ever get the chance, you should still go.

Barbed wire on a beach. War is bad, boys and girls. Don't ever let anyone tell you anything different.

Bomb craters. But there's still vegetation. It's like Mother Nature was like, "OW! Whatever, I'm still gonna grow some trees."

Once we were done with the good times in Bayeux, we headed to Caen for the wedding. (Not to be confused with Cannes.) Instead of a rehearsal dinner, the lovely French family invited the visiting Americans over for wine and cheese. And they SO delivered on that promise. They had a ginormous cherry tree in their backyard, so the evening obviously devolved into a pit spitting contest. See those mad skills? I kicked Blaire's ass.

I mean, really. If you're going to get married in France, this is totally the kind of place where it needs to happen. Am I right?

After the wedding, we had a 4th of July picnic (in France. It was strange, but so nice.) then it was off to Paris! We got there, went out to dinner, then went for a little walk. Oh that? Yeah, that's me hanging out in front of Notre Dame. On a bridge over the Seine. Beautiful, right? (Beautiful, gorgeous, wish you were here!) Except that when I look at this picture, all I can think is, "That stupid bitch has no idea what's about to happen to her." Yeah, don't eat the escargot at the place down the street from my hotel. (What? I was in France! When in France...) I have never been so sick in my life. I honestly wasn't sure I was going to make it out alive. I had a whole lot of crazy brain lying on the bathroom floor of my hotel room, but I did make it. AND! I didn't need to do a post-France diet, so there's a plus. On the downside, I missed a huge chunk of my one day in Paris.

BUT! How funny is this chair? It's so tiny! Why bother even putting it into a hotel room? Is it for little people?

SOTD: Nothin' on You by B.o.B. and Bruno Mars. This song was stuck in my head the whole time I was in France. Why? Not sure. Although, it was a tie between this and the song from Beauty and the Beast that starts with them saying "Bonjour!" over and over again.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation Part 1: Amsterdam

2010-08-28T19:18:00.000-07:00

August?! Really? Oops.

So, let me take this time to fill you in on what I've been up to all summer, because it has been pretty stinkin' fabulous. Once school got out, and I did my tri, I hopped on a plane to Amsterdam. My brother Tom is living there now with his family, so I got to check it out. I highly recommend the city- I even recommend taking a quick detour through the red light district, but go during the day and be aware that you are going to see more than you ever want to.

See look?! I'm really there!

A horrible picture, but it's part of why I've decided that I love the Dutch: This is a beautiful piece of art in the middle of the city, and if you could see what it says, you would be reading, in Latin, "Men, don't pee in the wind." It's awesome. I like my art with a sense of humor.

OK, these are all on their sides and I'm too lazy to fix it. But how cool is this sign? The triple X is the Amsterdam city symbol. They do love their bikes there, and it is very cool to see the downtown just crammed full of bikes.

Um, in case you can't tell, that's a urinal, just out in the middle of the street in case you need to stop in all of your wandering to pee. It made me laugh so hard, but I respectfully waited for the dude I spotted over there to finish up before I took this picture. You're welcome, random dude.

I was there during World Cup Madness, and every bar looked liked this. I'm not sure if the extent of the orange really comes through, but it was cool.

The canals. The city is built on canals, so this is what you see everywhere you go. I'm hoping that the next time I go back, Tom will have bought a boat. Supposedly, this are full of bikes. Good stuff.

Next up: France.

SOTD: Amsterdam by Peter, Bjorn and John. If you need an explanation on that one...

Best Summer Ever

2010-07-25T21:24:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I have SO MANY better things to blog about, including PICTURES!

But for now, I simply have to say that I'm having my best summer ever. Europe pictures and stories coming, but first, I must head to Lake Placid for week for outdoor fun and laziness, and a possible run to Canada just because I can.

Wine + my backyard + my fabulous friends = my life does not suck. Plane tickets never hurt the equation, nor does family.

SOTD: Bulletproof by La Roux. The first time I heard this song, I was all, "Don't I already know this song? Didn't it come out when I was like 8?" Does that make it any less cool? No, not really. This time, baby, I'll be BULLETPROOF.

TRI!

2010-06-17T17:37:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen! I did it! I'm a triathlete! Photographic evidence below...

I love this picture because you can't tell what's going on. Why am I in a field? Where is everyone else? Am I lost? If this was any bigger, you would see so many more people and flags and shenanigans, but nope. All you see is wilderness.

FINISHED! And super psyched about it. But lady behind me? Stop stealing all of my awesome moves.

Welcome to the gun show my friends. #600 was so cute that Blaire just went ahead and married him. Like 3 years ago, but still.

Me in the middle of the two people I conned into racing with me, enjoying a post-race beer. The beer tent was next to the ice cream tent. If you didn't already know I was in Wisconsin, that should be your first clue. 'sconnie's know how to party!

Me and my cousin, who kicked my ass, but she's cute so I forgive her.

Overall, it was an amazing awesome experience, and I think everyone should try it. I want to do a few more this summer, but they are expensive, so I'm working it out. But seriously, it was so fun and I wasn't even sore the next day. The bike was my favorite part, hands down. I'm excited to head to CO this summer to ride on some real hills.

A HUGE shout out to Skylar for being the only one to remember her camera the whole weekend.

SOTD: Ridin' Dirty by Chameleon. How bored are these dudes in their mom's basement?

PS- SCHOOL'S OUT! FOR! SUMMER!

An update on my dating life

2010-05-16T20:09:00.000-07:00

I just mentioned wishing I was in love.

And then some dude on okcupid sent me this:

"You seem interesting, as long as you're not like crazy or anything, I'd be up for getting a coffee and some stimulating conversation. Hit me back!"

And I am reminded that this is SUPPOSED to be work. Because seriously.

I sort of do want to hit him back. As in smacking him and telling him that he's a moron. I also got one the other day that said something like, "It's not all about looks, but my face is happy looking at your face." Are you 7? WTF IS that?

SOTM(M is for moment, because we already have one for the day): If It Kills Me by Jason Mraz. "I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it KILLS me... it might kill me."

Killin' it

2010-05-16T19:24:00.000-07:00

I spent a lot of time yesterday afternoon with my friend Ali, and for reasons I can't explain, she was KILLING IT. I couldn't stop laughing. A few choice gems:

"Hey! You should drop trou so I can see your bruises, just please keep your ass covered."

"Whoa! My sippy cup has an erection!"

And then, watching something where a fat guy went out a window:

"Oh now that just makes me think of poop."

She's moving in a month. I can't even think about it.

SOTD: Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. This song makes me really happy. Then it makes me wish that I was in love, which sounds depressing, but no, seriously- isn't this just the kind of song that you want to hear on a summer day?

I quit!

2010-05-09T14:10:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen,

I wanted to take this formal opportunity to announce that as of this moment, I QUIT THIS WEEK. (I'm quitting the WEEK, not any sort of job or anything. I can do that, right? Just call it over?)

The first thing is that after a few weeks of calm, spring has sprung and my kids went balls out cuckoo for cocoa puffs. I'm done with them. They make me so tired, and less able to deal with other stressors. Such as...

I had 2 little boys, probably about 7, spying on me while I was in the shower. Good thing I've perfected my mean teacher voice. Also, I told my neighbors, who are totally okay with turning the hose on them if they ever show up in the yard again. Also, if anyone reading this knows my dad, DO NOT TELL HIM THIS STORY. He will show up here with a baseball bat, and that's just bad for neighborhood relations.

But wait! I'm not done. I was just out riding my bike, picking up my groceries like I do, when I officially joined the Urban Cyclist club. How did I do that? I GOT DOORED. You guys? That shit hurts. I was fine, but now it's about an hour later and everything is starting to hurt, and I think I may have more bruises than I realized. My head actually hit a minivan. Yes, I was wearing my helmet, and more importantly, yes, the bottle of wine in my backpack remained intact. But SERIOUSLY.

So there it is. My letter of resignation from this week. I will be in my house ignoring the world until tomorrow. Next week has to be better, right?

XOXO,

Rachel

SOTD: It Sucks to Be Me from Avenue Q. On the upside, I saw this yesterday and if you have a chance, I highly recommend it. Things you can learn: The internet is really great for porn, it's okay to be gay, how pervy you'll feel watching puppets have sex (true!), and that Glenn Beck is only for now. Oh, and that everyone is racist.

Tricky things

2010-04-29T20:30:00.000-07:00

So, I just got home from my first interwebby date-y type thing, and you know what? Keeping your expectations low is hard when your standards are high.

All I'm saying is that I'm giving it a solid "we'll see" but I'm insisting that he has to be the one to contact me. I initiated this evening, and the conversation was great. But did I want to smooch him? The jury is out.

Am I wrong to feel like the ball is solidly in his court here? Am I less of an independent woman with that theory?

Mmmm...gut says go with my gut. Thoughts?

SOTD: Be Be Your Love by Rachael Yamagata. Mostly because I've been digging her lately.

Ok, Cupid: Let's Do This

2010-04-18T16:23:00.000-07:00

You guys? It's spring and it's nice out and I'm so happy playing outside, but where are the boys? No, seriously.

Ok, fine, Universe. You win. I'm back in the online dating game, via a site called okcupid. It's like match, except it's free. The main difference I'm noticing? The number of artists/actors/creative types/people "having trouble with the job market". Is it wrong that I'm judgy about people who don't have a regular source of income? I mean, how are you going to be my sugar daddy if you don't even have a j-o-b?

So anyway, wish me luck. I'm keeping my standards high and my expectations low.

SOTD: I Just Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble. NERD ALERT! I can't help myself- I love me some Michael Buble, even though I spend quite a bit of time in my brain making fun of him. I'm pretty sure his world looks like a romantic comedy in the worst possible way. But it's catchy and fun, and I can't fight it anymore.

What's with today, today?

2010-03-18T16:45:00.000-07:00

To sum up today:

I'm pretty sure every single one of my students cried at some point today. Two sobbed hysterically.

I nearly joined them. There was nothing specific upsetting them. Just one of those days.

Then I came home and I got to ride my bike outside instead of going to some stinky spin class, and it all seems not so bad anymore.

Happy spring-like weather day!

SOTD: No One's Gonna Love You by Band of Horses. Another song I can't get out of my head, because I can't decide if it's a break up song or a make up song. Your thoughts? These are the sorts of things I think about when I'm swimming laps and I'd rather not be thinking about how hard swimming is. Also, I like that they break bottles over each other's heads.

SOTD: Objects of My Affection

2010-03-08T18:57:00.000-08:00

Recently, a friend pointed out that it's somewhat strange that I don't listen to much new music anymore. My excuse has been that I don't listen to music at work anymore- I don't count the music I play. Raffi is not cool. So he gave me a list of bands to get myself back in, and I've been trying to listen to more music and be more productive instead of watching quite so much tv.

I used to make people mix tapes all the time, and write pages and pages about why I loved the songs and why I was including them for that specific person. I'm going to start a new mix just for you, the 4 people who still read this even though I rarely post. We're going to start with Peter, Bjorn and John- Objects of My Affection. I'm currently obsessed with this song.

I remember when, when i first moved here, a long time ago,
´cause i heard some song i used to hear back then, a lone time ago.
i remember when, even further back, in another town,
´cause i saw something written i used to say back then,
hard to comprehend and the question is,
was i more alive then than i am now?
i happily have to disagree;
i laugh more often now,
i cry more often now,
i am more me.

There are so many songs that, for me, are so tied to a time and place that I can't hear them without being transported back. I was just talking to someone about how I can't even comprehend how long I've lived here in Chicago and the life phases I've gone through in that time, and how much I think I've grown up. And then I'll hear songs from when I first moved here, or when I was still in Milwaukee and I felt like everything was falling apart and I had trouble really believing that things would settle down and I wouldn't always feel the way I did then. I haven't thought about that in such a long time, but I have come a long way. I AM MORE ME. Part of it came naturally, with getting older and theoretically becoming more mature. And part of it was just moving forward with my life. You move on, and some things get better, some get worse but in hindsight, very few things seem as bad as they were in that moment. And yes, I do cry more often now, but it's okay.

but of course some days, i just lie around and hardly exist,
and can´t tell apart what i´m eating from my hand or my wrist.
´cause flesh is flesh,
flesh as flesh as flesh,
the difference is thin.

Ew. Don't eat your hand!

but life has a certain ability or breathing new life into me,
so i breathe it in.
it says here we are, and we all are here,
and you still can make sense,
if you just show up and present an honest face,
instead of that grin.

An honest face. I dig those.

and the other day,
this new friend of mine said something to me
"just because something starts differently, doesn´t mean it´s worth less."
and i soaked it in, how i soaked it in, how i soaked it in
and just as to prove how right he was, then you came.
so i´m gonna give, yes i´m gonna give,
i´m gonna give you a try,
so i´m gonna give, yes i´m gonna give,
i´m gonna give you a try

I just like the quote from his friend. Did I mention the person who has me listening to music again is a very old friend? I think connecting that person to this song makes sense in my brain and somehow it helps me see that I do have the potential for new beginnings even when I'm feeling stuck. (See also: my love life or lack thereof.)

Is this disjointed and rambly? Probably. I hope you dig the song, I love it.

I laugh more often now.
I cry more often now.
I am more me.

Slight change of plan

2010-03-07T17:41:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I know what I said about the triathlon. But the fundraising element proved to be a bit overwhelming (I have other things going on) so I started looking for other events, and there is one the same weekend that is pretty much walking distance from my mom's house AND it's on Sunday instead of Saturday AND the swim goes down from a half mile to a quarter mile. Holy crap, this scenario is miles and miles better. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Yay! Plus, training is actually going pretty well. I'm pretty psyched. Anyone want to come to Madison on 6/13?

I'm tired. I hosted a slumber party/bachelorette party last night. It was awesome. I recommend bringing those back.

SOTD: Lisztomania by Phoenix. This song just makes me happy. I'm not easily offended!

Bring the pain

2010-02-28T18:07:00.000-08:00

Ask me what I did yesterday- go ahead, ask me.

I signed up to do a sprint triathlon with Team in Training. I'm scared. Expect to be hit up for money and to hear stories of my ineptitude in swimming competitively soon!

XOXO,

Rachel

SOTD: Lay It Down by Peter, Bjorn, and John. I'm trying to stop swearing for lent. It's not going so well, and I'm not sure why. I keep listening to this song so they can do it for me. That makes sense, right? Also, I sort of want to have a party now where everyone wears masks of other people. It makes me laugh.

This I Believe: There's no place like home

2010-01-18T17:13:00.000-08:00

I went home this weekend, and let me tell you something kids: I was just there a few weeks ago for Christmas, but I needed it. Somehow, coming back from the break without getting as much rest as I'd hoped to took me down. I was sick (raise your hand if you're surprised. Hello? Is this thing on?) and the kids always need some time to get back into the routine, but DAMN. These last two weeks have been tough, and then I caught something really gross, and I just wanted my mommy.

I was blue, and now I feel better. I wasn't even home for that long- about a day, but it was exactly what I needed. I always feel sorry for people who don't want to go home, or who don't get along with their families. I even got to stop in Milwaukee for the first time in a year and introduce myself to some cutie pie kids.

Hmm...I think I had better ideas of what to say here when I started it, and I'm fading fast. Go hug your mom.

SOTD: Just Breathe by Pearl Jam. I haven't bought any new Pearl Jam in many moons. Like possibly since Vitalogy, but I think I might need this last thing they put out. I've heard a few songs, and they are all pretty mellow, but wow am I loving them. I like the line in this song- "I'm a lucky man to count on both hands the ones I love." I am pretty darn lucky to be able to count on both hands AND feet those that I love who I know love me back unconditionally, even when I'm blue. Hope the world is being nicer to all of you!

This I Believe: Scotch is a bad idea

2010-01-01T20:28:00.000-08:00

This just in: 30-year-olds who really mostly only ever drink wine anymore should not drink scotch on the rocks all night on New Year's Eve. I ended up crashing on Blaire and Tedd's couch last night, even though they live like 3 blocks away from me. I was not doing well in the cab. Lots of quality time on the couch today.

Happy New Year!

SOTD: Kandi by One Eskimo. Is my resolution to blog more? Maybe.

Funny Things

2009-11-05T17:38:00.000-08:00

Things I have seen recently on the CTA that freakin' kill me:

On Halloween, there was a guy dressed up as the Dick in the Box guy. As my train pulled away, he opened that box. Everyone else in my train car screamed, but I thought it was hilarious. That guy wins the "Total Tool" award from me. (Get it? I'm funny.)

I saw a 70-year-old dude today carrying an old school metal Masters of the Universe lunchbox.

I saw the most gorgeous sunset today. At 4:45, but whatever.

This morning, a woman got on with a huge donut, but then tried to do her makeup and realized she didn't have enough hands for all of that. I kept waiting to see her rub the donut on her face, but if she did, she saved it for after I got off.

Two sloppy drunk teachers last Friday...oh wait, that was me and my friend.

SOTD: Something Beautiful by needtobreathe. I just like it.

This I Believe: Healthcare

2009-10-11T15:17:00.001-07:00

Ok kids, I didn't mean to make this political right away, but here it is: I believe that healthcare should be a right and not a privilege. That said, I have no idea of the logistics it takes to get that done and paid for, but let me tell you why I'm thinking about it today:

I have ear infections in both ears. My right ear is infected in both the outer and middle ear. (I told my dad that and he said, "GEEZ, you're a mess!") The entire right side of my face is swollen. This started yesterday, but I didn't hit up the doctor last night because I had promised Skylar a night out and my friend Al that I'd come see his band play at a bar near my house. This was not one of my brighter ideas, for the record- I couldn't hear out of my right ear and I was miserable. The beer I had wasn't really worth it. So this morning, I got up and went down to cheer for the runners (Go Chicago Marathoners!) then hit up the clinic that's open on Sundays. I got to go to the dr. and get antibiotics for about $20. I saved over $100 because I was born to a family that was able to send me to college, and I happened to find a job that hasn't yet been hit by the recession. If I was out of work, where would I find the money for an EAR INFECTION?

Despite what I'm constantly telling you, I'm not that special. I'm just lucky. But they tell me I'll be feeling better in 24 hours. That is great news.

An ear infection is minor on the scale of things that can go wrong with these crazy bodies we live in. How can anyone deny someone else the right to do what they need to do to feel better? I really don't get it.

Soapbox over. I hope this is coherent. I'm going to bed pretty soon...yeah, it's 5:30.

SOTD: Sick of Myself by Matthew Sweet. Note to those in charge: I'd like a new immune system, please.

Whupped, but with a plan

2009-10-08T18:50:00.001-07:00

You guys? I'm getting my ass kicked by a bunch of 3-5 year olds. Thank god this is not my first year- I don't think I'd want to teach anymore.

I've been struggling to come up with good blog writing lately and failing pretty miserably because I am so worn out at the end of the day. It's not just the physically tired part, it's also emotional. What else can I do?

But that's not my point. My point is this: I borrowed a book from my sister called "This I Believe" and it's all short essays on people's personal important beliefs. So at least once a week, I'm going to try to write about something I believe and why because I need something like that right now. Some of them are probably going to be silly (I already have a good idea on my belief in cheese and I'm sure at some point there will be a drunk one about my belief in wine) and some will be what I need to work out in my brain. If I fail to do this, call me on it. If anyone wants to write one and be a guest blogger, let me know. Check out the book- some are better than others, but it's good stuff no matter what.

I need to go to bed now- after one cute kid story for me to think about as I fall asleep. I was out on Monday because I was coming back from visiting my sister. On Wed, one of the dads told me, "Just so you know, my son was really sad you weren't here on Monday. It was all he could talk about on Monday night- he was really hoping you'd be back on Tuesday so he wouldn't have to miss you anymore." For every rotten moment, there's one of those. And that kid is freakin' ADORABLE.

SOTD: I and Love and You by the Avett Brothers. I thought this song was called "Brooklyn Brooklyn" until the other day. I just dig it, even if it's not the best thing to listen to when I'm a bit down. Are you aware the shape I'm in? Brooklyn Brooklyn take me in.

Let's Go Ride!

2009-10-05T15:25:00.001-07:00

That subject line used to be my brother-in-law's tagline on every text he sent. He's toned it down a bit now, but it works for today.

I just got back from Colorado- I went to go meet Jaden, who is awesome. But while I was there, I took advantage of it being Colorado and did what I'm pretty sure is only my 3rd ever mountain biking attempt. (Possibly 4th, but I'm pretty sure only 3.) This is the proof. Above, you'll see just how pretty it really is. It just looks like that! Also, they let cows graze there, and you can see that I'm actually headed straight for a cowpie. But that's not the important part. (I did not hit it. I can steer.)

That's me going over a big rock. I'm not sure if you can tell from this picture, but it's a scary one. I went back and did it again because it was cool.

I like mountain biking. I need to get some mountains in Chicago.

Also, I totally have some impressive bruising and injuries. How did I do that? Getting on the bike. I am soooooo coordinated. You wish you could move like me.

SOTD: She's Got You High by Mumm-ra. I hadn't noticed how high we were until we took that first picture, I just knew that going up was hard. Plus, this song is on the happy list.

No WAY!!!!!!!

2009-09-20T17:52:00.000-07:00

My friend Matt just won an Emmy!!!!!!

I've been sick and doing nothing but lying on the couch feeling gross all weekend, and I just spent like 20 minutes jumping up and down on my couch screaming because HOLY CRAP! My friend just won an Emmy and he did a GREAT job on his speech, and I could not be any more excited than I am right now.

And now I'm back where I've started- and never really left. I'm sitting home alone watching tv.

BUT SERIOUSLY! HOW COOL IS THAT?!

I hate everyone.

2009-09-17T17:21:00.001-07:00

Long story short, I'm having a rough week at school. Rotten kids, a power struggle with other teachers, and I'm already coming down with my first cold of the year, and school's been going on for 8 days now. Rotten germ-infested kids.

The main point of this is telling you that even though I rode my bike to school, I was upset enough that I went to the gym and worked out in hopes of settling down a bit. I was still a bit cranky when I was cruising home in rush hour, getting cut off my jerkfaces on Vespas and irresponsible cyclists listening to their iPods.

What finally made me feel better? Singing today's SOTD in my head the whole way. Never doubt the power of a great song.

SOTD: I Hate Everyone by Get Set Go. Whoa-ho-oh-oh-oh-oh!!!!! All the people on the street- I HATE YOU ALL!

Less to say...

2009-09-13T18:28:00.000-07:00

I'm finding that I don't have much to say here lately, but a few things you might find interesting:

I took syphilis to school for the kids to use as a loaner for rest time in case they need something to cuddle. I cut his tag off so that no one would see it and know what it is, and I just call him a worm. But every time I see it, I giggle and think about how many germs there are at school.

I went to German fest, then Irish fest yesterday. I'm on a dessert and drinking ban for the month of September, and I totally blew it. Chicago is hard. But at least I represented for my dad's side of the fam. All I needed to do was swing through Chinatown and eat some Hawaiian food and I would have been good to go.

School is fun. It's nice being in the 2nd year and feeling that much more confident about what I'm doing, and knowing for sure what is going to work. It's also fun to see how big my old kids are and get to know new kids.

SOTD: Tell Her This by Del Amitri. I was making myself a mix today of songs that make me happy and I found this in my iTunes, and I'd sort of forgotten about it. It's not really a happy song, so it didn't make the mix, but it is a good song.

PS- Taylor Swift just got dicked over by Kanye West. That's messed up, MTV. Messed up.

For Posterity

2009-08-21T21:34:00.000-07:00

I'm standing up in yet another wedding tomorrow. (This is my 9th for those of you keeping score at home.) I just got home from the rehearsal, and there are a few things I want to document, lest I forget them:

#1: The bride's parents are both deaf. The groom's dad learned his speech tonight in sign language. If that doesn't at least make you misty, you may not be human.

#2: The priest was running us through the mass.

Priest: Gospel, homily, you know, the boring stuff.

Other Hilarious Bridesmaid: Homilies are my jam, yo.

Me: *Completely losing my shit* And never really regaining it, when tales turn to dipping a communion host in guac, then doing a slip'n slide through the altar as an alternate means of ending the ceremony. Also, trying to convince a separate engaged couple to say "Ditto" every time the couple getting married says anything so that they can save themselves the hassle of a big wedding. These are good ideas!!!!

#3: I'm not even kidding about wanting the bride's sister-in-law to be my friend for real. I just had a dance party with her and a whole lotta relatives who were a really good time. Including 2 deaf uncles who told me that my shoes were hot.

Tomorrow is going to be so fun. I'd better get some sleep.

SOTD: Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough by Michael Jackson. Am I being trendy with the MJ stuff? No, it was the last song the groom's father played from his iPod when they called last call. Who's jealous that I still have another night of partying ahead of me? I'm off to drink some water and cut up fruit, because I offered to bring breakfast tomorrow.

New love

2009-08-15T22:11:00.001-07:00

No matter what I tend to whine about, I can always come back to the good things I have going when I need to.

Today, I have a new love in my life. I loved him in my imagination, and I'm thrilled to get the opportunity to get to know him and fall in love with the person he is going to be. His name is Jaden, he is my sister's baby, and he is beautiful.

How could you not love that face? Look at his perfect little nose! I also love how newborn babies always look so tired when they first get here. Like, "WHEW! That was one crazy ride."

SOTD: Waiting for Jaden by ALO. The wait has ended. (I was soooo wrong on my guess about when he would actually show up, but I have forgiven him.)

Summertime...

2009-08-10T22:01:00.000-07:00

...and the livin' is easy.

You guys? Craig Ferguson is really funny. And he gets no play in the media. Every time I watch his show (more often that I should in the summer...I'm only up for the sake of being up right now) I feel like I'm the only one watching, but he cracks me UP.

Randomly, I have to tell you- not working is great. Really. But I'm unfocused, which is trouble because I'm the sort of person that needs to be busy to accomplish anything. If I'm busy, I'm focused. These days...meh.

I went out for a few beers with my friend Frank earlier. I was bored and called him to see what he was up to. He was all, "Sure, I'll come out, what's the plan?" And I was like, "Um...my plan was 1) call Frank, then 2) leave house." It worked out, because Frank is also a teacher and up for Monday night beers, but it threw me that he expected me to have a plan. Beyond the one I outlined here.

But oh, boo-hoo, poor me. I'm not working and I'm bored. Someone smack me. It's cool, I know I deserve it.

I went to a bachelorette party this weekend. It was super chill and awesome. But don't think that I didn't show all of those girls my boobs. I want a commission at Intimacy, because they were all very impressed with my boobs. That is seriously as crazy as it got. Don't be jealous.

Carrot Top is still not funny. After all these years...just thought you should know.

In reading this blog lately, I feel like I'm not myself. It has not been funny, and I know that. Know that I am working on it, and will get back to being funny as soon as I can.

SOTD: Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want by the Smiths. I think I'm going to officially show up to the party 25 years late and become a huge melancholy Smiths junkie. I've always sort of peripherally liked them, but lately I find myself drawn to them.

Boobs

2009-08-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

Boys who read this blog:

If you are uncomfortable with me talking about my boobs in a non sexy way, then you should probably skip this post. You have been warned.

To the ladies:

Ok, so in general as much as I know stuff about Oprah and I hear what she's talking about and I've watched more than I care to admit, she actually really tends to get on my nerves a lot of the time. I know. Call me crazy, but she is really annoying.

Awhile back, she did this whole thing about how women aren't wearing the right bra sized, and there's a store here that does these fittings and every brand is different so you really have to go check. It sounded ridiculous to me. But in all honesty, I have hated bra shopping for the last few years. It's no fun when you're a bigger girl and none of the bras are pretty and they don't fit right.

But today I went to that store. And it cost me a fortune, but I bought two new bras today that are AMAZING. I have perky boobs! And there is no spillage or backfat or weird jiggly spots. I am in love with these boobs I have right now. I've been flashing everyone. Including Tedd, who approves of my new bra. So I am going to endorse the store Intimacy, and ask for donations so I can go back. For real. It is NOT cheap.

SOTD: Girls! by the Beastie Boys.

Awesome.

2009-08-04T21:03:00.000-07:00

So you know what rocks?

My backyard. And my neighbors and wine.

What makes it better is when my upstairs neighbor finds out that I broke up with BB and is like, "Let's drink and talk about it in the backyard." My neighbors are the mf'n BOMB. Seriously, I couldn't ask for a better building. Have I mentioned that?

For real, my slack ass housewarming party is the 15th, and I'm combining it with Teddy's b-day. Come if you can. There's plenty of space.

I'm watching Jonah Hill on Letterman and he's gotten really fat. Other than my drinking today, I've been working out and eating salads. I'll let you know how that works out for me.

Funny side note: When I accidentally typed ho instead of how, my nazi spell check didn't argue. My school-based (I'm using my school computer because it's nicer) computer is okay with the word ho. Bring on the hookers, yo.

SOTD: There Goes the Fear by the Doves. Because it's in (500) Days of Summer which I LOVED. And it's in Catch and Release, which is an okay flick if you're depressed and/or from Boulder. But seriously, my break up brain loved the Summer flick. Indy endings are so much better than Hollywood endings. I'm mostly over the BB thing, but it makes me feel better to watch other people not succeed through no fault of their own. Make sense? I'm okay, but it's nice to not feel like it's my fault.

Wacky Germans

2009-07-30T07:54:00.001-07:00

These two pictures just make me laugh every time I look at them. Seriously? Mr. Bleck is a coffee shop? And the dude is standing there looking like Chef from South Park in a little servant's jacket? Oh you racist bastards. You make me laugh so hard. I went and got coffee from there just to see if there was something I could take for Shaynea, and she's so getting a matchbook.

The second picture is the most horrifying fountain I've ever seen. I couldn't capture it really without taking a lot of detailed pictures, but there is a lot of weird and scary stuff happening in there, including a dragon eating someone.

I'll work on London and Prague tomorrow.

Nuremburg, part 2

2009-07-30T07:44:00.001-07:00

Knowing that they were called the Nuremburg Trials, if you thought about it hard enough, you'd know that the city saw a lot of action in WWII. But before that, the city had a very impressive history from the 1300's. The castle is at the top of a large hill, and used to have a wall that enclosed the entire city. The city has since spread, but you can still find parts of the wall around the city. Top to bottom:

The hangman's house. Seriously. Who'd you have to kill to live there? Ba dum dum. (Thanks, I'll be here all week, try the veal.)

I'm blanking on the name of that church and I'm too lazy to go look it up. It was bombed to the ground and rebuilt. Inside, it's amazing but you're not allowed to take pictures.

That's really what a lot of the city looks like. That's just a random street that is pretty.

A castle wall- you can see where it's been repaired, post-war.

Another view.

Nuremburg, Germany

2009-07-30T07:32:00.000-07:00

Top to bottom:

A statue honoring the toy makers, one of the things that Nuremburg is famous for. There's a hidden ring that you can turn to make a wish. I'm not telling what my wish was.

Cool old bridge right by the hangman's house. That's true- he had one of the best views in town.

View of Nuremburg from the castle.

Castle.

Church.

More Nuremburg- I went with the purpose of taking pictures.

Salzburg, Austria

2009-07-30T07:24:00.000-07:00

So it turns out that I didn't take the best pictures while I was gone. There's a lot of stuff that I seem to have just forgotten to actually capture. But this is me in Salzburg- Mozart's birthplace, and the home of Sound of Music. The city is beautiful, as you can see from the two views of either me in it, or looking at it. The other picture is the side of the castle there- knowing how old these buildings are, I'm always amazed at how high they did things. I understand that it was for protection, but it took lifetimes, and that blows my mind. It's quite a hike to get up there. We didn't go in though.

The Bachelorette

2009-07-28T21:05:00.000-07:00

All the ladies in the house who were addicted to The Bachelorette say "Hey-yo!"

Hey-yo!

Props for:

Being completely f'n ridiculous. I was watching last night, and when they showed the volcano when she was in the room with Ed (or E.D. if you know what I'm sayin')...I DIED. I was laughing so hard I had to call Shaynea to see if she had caught that shit.

Calling Ed out for the E.D.

Reid! You also called out Ed for the E.D.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I totally just gave you a fist bump and baked you some cookies. You may have been dumped twice on national tv, but you totally looked like a man doing it.

Please. Who proposes when you KNOW that she's been banging other dudes as recently as the night before? Something HAS to tell you that is NOT okay. PLUS, PLUS+++++++!!!!!!!!!! Dude who came in third shows up and proposes and she HESITATED. I'd be all, "Fuck YOU, biatch. In or out, yo." She had to break up with TWO other dudes to get engaged to you that day. Is that REALLY okay with you? Don't lie.

Yeah. I don't anticipate running into Jillian in Chicago. That's all I'm sayin'.

NO, wait! Chris Harrison just called him out on his sissy shorts! And they are SO not okay in the bedroom. If you have to say that many times that everything is fine in there, after the big "fantasy suite" debacle...I'm just not buying it.

Sorry if you weren't watching that ridiculous bs. I like feeling superior in all ways to people on reality tv.

SOTD: Be There by Howie Day. If you're gonna be there, BE THERE. I just really like this song, even though I feel like I shouldn't. I don't know, Howie Day writes a mean pop song. I just accidentally typed poop song. I guess I'm feeling ambiguous break up songs these days. "Sorry, I thought it could work, but if it's not going to, then I guess you should bail." I've also been indulging in retail therapy. Someone take my credit card away from me. No seriously.

If you're digging the angsty Howie Day, see also She Says. When she says she wants somebody else, I hope you know- she doesn't mean you. I'm pretty sure that Howie Day is a HUGE douche bag in person.

Ayo.

2009-07-24T18:37:00.000-07:00

I swear i'm working on the picture thing. I'm busy!

But one funny thing from Germany- one of the first things I heard on the radio when I got there was this song- Ayo Technology. And I was listening to it like, "I feel like I've heard this before, but something about it isn't quite right..." Then I kept listening and realized that it is the GEEKIEST Fifty Cent cover ever...but still kind of catchy.

So this is what the Germans are digging these days.

SOTD: Ayo Technology by Milow.

Good news/Bad news

2009-07-21T08:06:00.001-07:00

Hello.

Good news: I'm home! I have tons of pictures and stories when I get to it, right now I'm just focused on finding something clean to wear.

Bad news: Banjo Boy and I broke up last night. I am sad, but know it is for the best.

I will post pictures and international stories as soon as I get on that whole clean clothes thing I mentioned earlier. Feel free to entertain me in the meantime with what you've been up to lately.

One picture

2009-07-07T11:53:00.000-07:00

So on Saturday when you were all attending awesome bbq's, watching fireworks and celebrating your independence, I went to the Documentation Center in Nuremburg. It's on the former Nazi Rally grounds, and it's a history of the rise and fall of the Nazis. Not so much like a party, and there was something weird about going on the 4th of July, but it was definitely interesting.

Afterwards, I had some time to kill and it's right on this nice lake so I went for a walk and found a nice biergarten. (Look at me! I'm learning German!*) Nelly and Keana came and met me there, and I enjoyed a few brews and some sausages for dinner. Here is a picture of that- it's me, my beer, and about 17 chins. It's an awful picture, but it makes me laugh. Seriously, I look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Do you also like that I'm balancing my huge beer on my boob? Yeah, that's hot.

It's been raining since then, so I haven't done much since then but relax. I've read 6 books so far, and I've been here for about a week and a half. Things are picking up though- Tom and I went back to Nuremburg today when he got home from work and did some walking around, so I have some pictures for you that I haven't downloaded yet, but I promise to get to it before the weekend. Tomorrow if it's not raining in the afternoon, I'm all over going to take pictures of the things that have been making me laugh.

Why? Because this weekend is when I get to go to London and I am PSYCHED!

SOTD: 99 Luftballoons by Nena. Obviously, it's been stuck in my head since I got here. Plus, I totally found a Nena DVD in the closet here. Don't think I didn't laugh out loud when I saw it.

*At dinner tonight, Tom and Nelly were saying Nuremburg funny (not Nurnberg, which is how Germans say it) and Keana looked at them and said, "Don't make it any harder on Rachel!" Apparently, what they were doing is the equivalent of a southern accent. To answer your question Ashley, yes. Keana is smarter than I am. This is not news.

More stuff I've done

2009-07-02T01:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a funny day for this 30 Things list. Tom gave me my second ever stick shift driving lesson, AND showed me how to plug in his electric guitar and taught me a few licks.

The driving lesson went pretty well. Tom has become more patient as he's gotten older. According to my sister, when he was supposed to teach her, she killed it once and they turned around and went back home. I successfully started, got to second and stopped around and around in a parking lot last night. Then he tried to make me start going up a hill. I think we both knew that wouldn't end well. Do I think I'll ever be really confident out on the streets? Not so much, but I'm learning. The streets here are so narrow and a little scary for me anyway.

The guitar is awesome. I didn't known I'd like making so much noise, but hey...sorry neighbors, I'm rocking out in Germany!! I may actually have someone take a video of me playing to put up here because I think it's pretty amusing. I can do all of that fancy reverb/feedback stuff. It's pretty badass, if I do say so myself.

I still haven't taken any pictures, but I have Saturday morning to myself, so I'll ride Tom's bike "into town" and take pictures there. It's exactly what you think it looks like, but it also seems funny that it looks like that in 2009.

I'm sorry, what?

2009-06-29T15:15:00.000-07:00

Sarah, I saw your request for pictures, so Keana and I will have to take a walk tomorrow and see what I can show you.

I went for a run this morning and while my brother was drawing the map of where I should go, there was nary a street name mentioned. Not so well marked out here, so he was describing weird things like, "The parking lot over there is sort of big." I'd say 95% of the buildings here are white with a red tile roof. It's disconcerting for those of us who maybe don't have the best sense of direction.

My 7-year-old niece did get us home today, though, to her credit. I tried a shortcut that Tom recommended without having seen it and pulled up at one point and said, "Does this look right?" And she's like, "No, but our house is over there." I also got to be that awesome American today when we went to a pool, and I didn't know how to tell the lady what she needed to know. I asked Keana, and she told me and I was all, "Do you need a cough drop or something?" So she did all of the talking for me. And we stopped for ice cream on the way home and she handled that, too. Awesome.

It's actually a little bit disconcerting. While I was running, I had on my iPod, and I was in my zone and someone said something to me, and pulling out the earbuds didn't help. I think they were just being friendly, but I'll never really know. I guess learning a little more of the language wouldn't kill me. So far, I've learned a lot of food names. Banana is banane. But it's the "eh" sound at the end not "ay". I keep saying it wrong, and it's driving Keana bananas.

That's all I've got for now. I'll work on the pictures tomorrow.

OH WAIT! I forgot the other weird thing- my computer and iPod have both figured out that we're in Germany, so not even this blog looks right when I sign in. It's very strange.

Sprechen sie Deutsch?

2009-06-28T03:22:00.000-07:00

Greetings from Germany!

I got in yesterday morning and my brother Tom and I headed for Salzburg, Austria. I can now say that I've seen Mozart's birth place and where The Sound of Music was filmed. Apparently, people around here assume that "The Sound of Music" must refer to something Mozart did, because most of them have never seen the movie. Perhaps it's something about how Germans are depicted in that flick?

I also saw the birth place of the dude that wrote Silent Night and not one, but TWO brothels. I found that very entertaining. One had a red light out front in the shape of a heart and it was marked like a historical landmark. I wanted to take a picture, but Tom pointed out that doing that is a good way to get ourselves in trouble if anyone saw us. Pimps don't give that shit away for free, yo.

For now, we're lounging around the house because it's gray and rainy outside and we have time to explore later.

Hope all is well stateside.

Not so funny stories

2009-06-24T20:45:00.000-07:00

I've been getting crap from some people about the fact that I haven't updated here in awhile. I don't have much to show for the last month or so...just a lot of busy-ness and not funny stories. School ended, that was wonderful and sad at the same time. That said, I thought I was going to miss my kids, but the truth is...I don't really. I've been really enjoying doing absolutely nothing and sort of pulling myself back together. I was tired. My first year of teaching was actually quite difficult. Rewarding, and I love it, but definitely as hard as I'd heard.

I saw a preview for a movie the other day (Julie and Julia if you care) where the girl was pissed that her friend's blog was being turned into a movie, and she was like, "I could blog! I have thoughts!" I was like, hmmm. Do I have any INTERESTING thoughts? Let's take a look at a few of the actual things that have run through my head lately:

"Hmmm, I AM glad that I chose this blue color for my living room..."

"Shut UP, Jillian got rid of Jake? Those Bachelorette producers are cray-zay bitches." (Truth time: Even sadder? I actually said that out loud. To an empty room.)

"It's 5:00? WTF did I do all day today?"

"Holy shit! Wednesday! When did that happen?"

I'm leaving on my international adventure on Friday, and I will be bringing a computer, so maybe I can get some international woman of mystery stuff started. Probably not though, since I'm primarily going to be killing time with my 7-year-old niece. Whatever, I'm about to be internationally known.

Maybe I'll make some stuff up. Or just make fun of Germans. We'll see.

SOTD: Around the World by Daft Punk. "Where's Rachel?" "I don't know, somewhere around the world." Hell yeah. I remember staying up too late at some point in high school and seeing this video and thinking that maybe I'd just had a really detailed dancing dream. Didn't Daft Punk also have a video with a dude in a creepy dog costume just walking around the city like a person? What song was that? That also creeped me out. I never did drugs, but I always felt like I had after I saw their videos.

My new place

2009-05-15T19:30:00.001-07:00

Allow me to preface this with the fact that I've been drinking while home alone for a few hours now. I'm superfly classy, and everyone wants to be me when they grow up.

Moving is hard. And it's not like it's a secret. But I've had some weird days. I live by myself now. So I can be messy, but I don't WANT to be. And I can't remember exactly where everything is quite yet. And I keep catching myself doing weird things. Like (this is weird) I've always been a my side of the bed type of girl. I think I was afraid that if I ever got into the habit of taking up the whole bed, if I ever found anyone else who'd want to sleep there, I wouldn't be able to adjust. But in trying to assert myself in this new home, to really make me feel at home here, I've been taking up the whole bed. I'm sleeping dead center and spreading out my arms and really taking up space. I like it.

But it's like I think all of my decisions are final. I can't decide on paint colors. I can't choose any art. I can't even THINK about the rugs I need.

Plus, school is almost out. It's somehow completely overwhelming, even though I can't exactly point to what's making it hard. I don't REALLY have that much more work. The kids are not exponentially crazier (for the most part.) I just can't seem to focus on anything and find myself uttering the phrase "When school is out" more often than I think is really necessary.

Basically, I'm somehow overwhelmed and unsettled for the time being. But I'm working on it. Come visit anytime. Housewarming on 6/13 if you'll be in Chicago. Details to come.

SOTD: Lilac Wine by Jeff Buckley. I was trying to find the Nina Simone version, but youtube is being uncooperative. This is, however, not a sloppy second, just not exactly what I wanted. "I drink much more than I oughta drink...Lilac wine, I feel unsteady... Lilac wine, I feel unready..."

Also, I've been stopping constantly to smell the lilacs all over Chicago. Spring fever? Hell yeah, bring it.

No excuses

2009-05-07T15:28:00.000-07:00

I did give a warning that I'd be MIA for awhile, right? Oh man, moving is a lot of work, and then just when you think it's slowing down, it's also the end of the school year, and spring (!!!) and whatever else the hell it is I do with my time, and my wireless isn't working so when I'm on my computer I have to sit on one side of my living room that does NOT face the tv...and yeah, my life is SO HARD, you guys.

Hm. I thought I had something to say, but I'm blanking, so I'll hit you with a cute kid story and try to do better next time.

Yesterday, I was talking to a kid about his trip to London. Something about the way he said it made me think he went there often, so I said, "Do you know someone who lives there?"

"I know someone who lived there a long time ago."

"Oh really? Who's that?"

"King Henry the Eighth. I saw his bones- the put a beard on them and it's really funny."

This kid also referred to himself as his sister's butler when she conned him into carrying her backpack for her. I love him.

I lost my wallet the other day (It HAS to be in the damn house, but I can't find it. Stupid wallet.) The purpose of me mentioning this is that I went to the bank and they gave me a temporary ATM card, which I didn't know existed, so I'm pretty psyched. If it ever happens to you, now you know.

SOTD: Turn by Travis. I went to see these boys a few weeks back, and I realized that I really miss being a huge music geek. Also, I met these guys back in my concert booking days at Marquette, and they are really funny, super sweet, and they put on an amazingly energetic show for how mellow they sound here. Also, Fran Healy is adorable and watching him do pushups makes me smile in some bizarre sadistic way.

Bonus song: Also Travis- All I Wanna Do is Rock. Because this is not a crazy rock song. Until it is.

Officially official

2009-04-16T14:14:00.001-07:00

Buy a condo? CHECK!

Step back

2009-04-03T12:22:00.000-07:00

I just wrote my last rent check. That's a weird feeling.

I'm kicking packing's ASS today, so I'm gonna get back to it so I can go play outside later because it's gorgeous out.

Also, if you're bored, you should watch this because it made me laugh really hard last night, and it makes me wish I had more excuses to steal the quote, "Bait and switch motherfuckers!" Ok, I couldn't find the clip, so if you go and are like, "The whole Daily Show? I only have 5 mins!" Then just fast forward yourself to the second segment to hear what Wyatt Cenac has to say because I'm still giggling about it.

SOTD: Use Somebody by Kings of Leon. Because I could use someone to get all of this crap out of here. Oh wait, I AM! Rock on.

A plea

2009-04-01T18:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Mother Nature,

I just packed up my serious winter gear. Don't make me use it. I swear to you I will cry.

Also, any help you want to send in the form of magical packing elves would be cool.

XOXO,

Rachel

SOTD: I'm Not Ok (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance. I've just always thought that the (I Promise) was funny.

Not to worry

2009-03-26T18:30:00.000-07:00

So I know I've been an absent blogger lately, but I've got a lot going on and most of it is not my story to tell. But not to worry, eventually it will pass and I'll be back to rambling about whatever. A few highlights:

Remember when I was talking about how much booze I had left in my house post b-day party? Not to worry, the beer has been relocated (to BB and his friends) and I've taken care of most of the wine. And there is still plenty of hard stuff that will be perfect for backyard bbq's this summer, because oh yeah, did I mention? I've got a backyard, suckas!

I'm also working on the wine as I type. One more day until spring break, then it's pack-up-palooza up in this bitch. Who's jealous?!

One of my kids thought I had my pants on backwards the other day, and he was like, "Ms. K, I notice something different about your pants..." When I demonstrated that I had pockets on both the front and the back (the source of the confusion) he was visibly relieved. I told him that it was sweet of him to be concerned.

These are pretty lame stories to be called "highlights". I'll work on being a more interesting person whenever I get a chance.

I've got a list of SOTD's for you to account for the fact that I may be a blog slacker for a bit:

Love Lockdown by Kanye West. I don't know what it means, I just know I dig it. I don't think I'm on Love Lockdown.

Penis Song- for Sarah and Timmy.

One Step at a Time by Jordin Sparks. This song used to annoy me, and it was on my cousin Tricia's blog and it drove me nuts to hear the footsteps when I was just trying to see what she was up to. But then I was a bit stressed over the condo the other day, and I heard it and I had a really cheesy embarrassing moment of "Yeah, she's right. It's gonna be cool, just keep doing what you need to do..." Then I realized what I was thinking and mocked myself for a long time. Whatever, you like me anyway. I'm allowed to change my mind.

Be Gentle With Me by The Boy Most Likely To. I heard this when I was watching Baby Mama a few months ago and hunted it down. The chorus just fits my brain right now. And I am fully aware of how sad every part of that statement is. HOLD UP! I just started watching this video, and I have two more thoughts. 1) Those stuffed animals are cute. 2) RASHIDA JONES? Shut the fuck up. I am SO SICK of you showing up everywhere I live in my dream world. Just stop it. I'm trying to hate you. (Seriously, it's no fair- she gets to be in all of these cool movies with awesome dudes AND date Jim Halpert? It's just not right.)

Chasing Pavement by Adele. I don't know why. I still dig angsty stuff even when I'm not angsty.

And because you're already YouTubing, this is one of my favorite things of the last few months. The kid just kills me- "Why is this happening to me?!" "Is this real life?" This is totally what I think Drunk Rachel sounds like.

Happy St. Patty's Day!

2009-03-17T17:01:00.000-07:00

Here's hoping that you're reading this in a green beer haze...except for you Sarah- green oj only for you!

Looking for answers like, "Wear green" or "Look for leprechauns", I asked my kids what you do on St. Patrick's Day. One of my 5-year-olds raised his hand and said, "Go to a parade and drink alcohol." Hell yeah, Chicago kid! What did YOU do last weekend?

Also, when we were little, my mom used to dye our milk and oj green before we woke up for breakfast. It was always hilarious, until the year that she accidentally used the mint flavored food coloring...in case you missed the memo, mint + oj = NASTY. But it's a happy memory, so I did it to our milk and told the kids that leprechauns must have snuck in while we were at recess and changed the color of our milk. They loved it. I'm considering calling the dairy people and letting them in on this, because they drank about 3x as much milk as they normally do. "More leprechaun milk, please!"

I didn't do any day drinking over the weekend. Why, you ask? Because I was too busy BUYING A FREAKING CONDO!!!!!!!!!! I didn't want to jinx it until the inspection, which was today and it was awesome. I'm much more relaxed now than I've been in the last week because things are sort of out of my hands for the next few days plus I have a month before I move (exactly one month from today!) and I have my spring break in there to pack and get shit together. So anyway, I'm going to have a guest room if anyone wants to come visit my new 'hood- Lincoln Square. It's awesome, I promise.

Sooooo...what's new out there? I have nothing else interesting to report because condos take up quite a bit of brain space. I'll check it off of this list when I'm actually moved in.

SOTD: Bad Idea by Ben Folds Five. Not because I think that any of the stuff I've been up to has been a bad idea, but this song always gets stuck in my head when I'm stressed out and running around like a crazy person making to do lists longer than my arm.

Bonus SOTD: In Between Days by Ben Folds. It's a Cure cover that I really dig and had sort of forgotten about until this moment. "Yesterday I got so old, it made me want to cry."

The news is depressing.

2009-03-12T15:13:00.000-07:00

I'm back! And I'm better!

But exhausted, and reading the news isn't helping. Things that are bothering me include (but are not limited to):

1. They're changing the name of the Sears Tower? WTF people who bought it? Nobody cares who you are. I will never call it that. Just shut up, because you're annoying.

2. Ryan Adams and Mandy Moore got married on Tuesday. Now, I'm not one to start rumors about Mandy Moore being pregnant, but hey kids, what's the rush?

3. Condos are hard.

SOTD: Too Many Dicks on the Dancefloor by Flight of the Conchords. Because it's awesome and the fact that they made disco ball penises puts my b-day decorations to shame and makes me green with envy.

Movie Reviews

2009-03-08T13:45:00.000-07:00

I've been watching movies non-stop, and I have to do something besides lay here, so here are some very helpful movie reviews for you.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist: Ok, I saw this one before, but I still loved it. First of all, it has my cougar crush Michael Cera (Adorable!) and Kat Dennings being as cool as I wish I could have been. I also want the soundtrack. But it's a sweet story about a bunch of kids staying out too late when they're in high school and doing stupid kid things. In the best way. A-

Wanted: I wanted to see this one because they shot it in my 'hood awhile back. And it makes Chicago look awesome, which is always something I like. And seriously! James McAvoy's character totally lives in the house behind mine- that is so cool! Unfortunately, my ability to tell you where they are in any given scene is the only highlight of this really dumb and very violent movie. D

W.: I really liked this movie. I like things that humanize people like presidents, world leaders, anyone who has that sort of larger than life feeling. I think it tells an interesting story of someone who I won't claim to be a fan of, but who is still a human being at the end of the day. B+

The Women: If you need a so-so chick flick when you're sick, this one is not so bad. It's not great, but you won't have to think about it at all, so if you doze off in the middle, you can pretty much figure out what you've missed within about 3 seconds. If you're looking for real entertainment, I'd look elsewhere. C

Run, Fat Boy, Run: This movie is so awesome. A slacker decides to run a marathon to win the girl, with only three weeks to train. Not starring: reality. But it is SO FUNNY. I feel like I can't say much else without giving away a lot of the good stuff, but seriously, watch this movie. Especially if you've ever run anything. B+

Center Stage: Holy balls this movie is CRAPTASTIC. My roommate loves this movie, even though she admits that it's horrible. I've finally caved to watching it in my inability to sit up for more than 10 mins. at a time, and it's everything I thought it would be. Totally bad rainy day/sick day ridiculousness. Predictable, horrible acting, pretty teenagers believing they are making life and death decisions, ballet dancing, shaking up the ballet world with more interesting styles (you go girl!)...it has it all. Oh, and 90's Mandy Moore music, and you all know how I feel about her these days. C-

Song of the day: Too Much Time on My Hands by Styx. Seriously, if I'm not up and running tomorrow I'm going to lose my mind. Next up on my schedule? I'm going to shower. Anyone want to come share a spoon with me? I'm bored.

INCONCEIVABLE!

2009-03-07T11:33:00.000-08:00

You know how they have those things called flu shots? And that when you voluntarily go, "Oh hey, yeah, a flu shot. I'll get one of those so I won't get that nasty nasty flu from my germ infested students!" It seems like a pretty fool proof plan, doesn't it?

Alas, it is not a fool-proof plan. I went to the dr. yesterday convinced that I had strep, and I was all, "Ok, let's get the gagging over with so I can have some drugs and move along with my life, la di dah di dah..." And then that dr. was all, "You don't have strep, you have the flu. Go home, crawl under some blankets and clear out your Netflix queue for the next 5-7 days." Lady, to do that, I would have to be able to leave the house to go to a mailbox! I see a flaw in your plan!

Also, did you really just tell me that you can't help me? Oh, that would explain why I'm sobbing in your office. No no, that's not embarassing at all. I love reacting like a 4-year-old. (Seriously, that was weird. I didn't see it coming, all of a sudden I'm just crying and she's trying to be nice, but she obviously doesn't want to touch me so she's sitting on the other side of the office pointing to the tissue box. I am awesome.)

My super smart sister tells me that the flu shot might make this not last as long. I think she might be right as today, I feel better. My brain is back in action, but my body is not. I can type, but BB just called and I'm pretty sure the only thing he heard was the sound of me drooling and saying, "Mmm-kay." I'm only on day 2 here, and I'm already feeling a little stir crazy, which should be a good sign that I'm getting better, right?

In other news, I fell in love with a condo...we'll see how that plays out. If anyone out there is a tax expert, I have a question I need help with, so seriously, let me know.

I hope everyone else is having a much more enjoyable weekend. Call or email me and tell me fun stories, I'm already tired of movies.

SOTD: Paper Planes by M.I.A. Because I, too, fly like paper, get high like planes. Also, it's been stuck in my head for like a week. Does anyone else look at M.I.A. and see the girl in high school who was really quirky and weird, but who you sort of secretly wanted to be? Or is that just me?

Pinned.

2009-03-04T17:59:00.000-08:00

Me: So...ok...um, hey. Remember a long time ago when you...you know...I guess, asked me to be your...you know...uhhhh...your girlfriend? Um...so yeah...I mean...I guess that's okay now...if you really want to...but you know, whatever. I don't really care or anything.

Banjo Boy: Awesome...Do I need to give you my letter jacket now?

SOTD: Girlfriend by NSYNC f/ Nelly. Gotta love the Nelly version.

PS- It's still weird, but I'm working on it.

Glitches

2009-03-02T16:59:00.000-08:00

Oh man you guys, I'm so sorry- this blog has suffered glitches galore. First, my computer has been pretty dead for a few weeks now, but I finally got a new battery (and charger) and we are back in business! Of course, I still suck and don't have pictures from my camera, but luckily the awesome Slackey Jay has provided some great pics from the big Dirty Thirty party. Know that blogs with pictures are sort of a pain in the ass, so please ignore any funky formatting.

T-rel of guest blogger status. All the way from Seattle, because I am that awesome.

The Lackeys playing Low Ballz. It was by far the best game I have ever found.

That's me! Playing my guitar for all the people at my party! Which totally counts as the public, because there were a lot of people there! (Again, I'm pretty damn fabulous.) Note the pink things you see on the wall behind me and Banjo Boy- yeah, it's a penis. More on that in a minute.

My fabulous Sky in the Pie (TM) creation by Skylar- raspberries, dark chocolate, and penis candles. Hell yeah.

Banjo Boy impressing everyone with his mad skills. It was actually pretty cool.

Alice serenading me with her trumpet the second she walked in the door. It was totally hilarious. Tiffany then got out her clarinet, but again that picture is missing for now. How cool is it to have 3 separate musical serenades? My creative friends kick ass.

So do the ones who made the penises and vaginas with construction paper- Blaire, Tedd, Skylar, Sarah, and Ali- you kick ass! Sarah flew in from Minnesota to surprise me which was SO AWESOME, but it went so fast that I feel like it doesn't count and I can't wait to go visit her this summer. The other awesome part is that in having a dirty party, my friends totally get into it. Comments while we were making our construction paper parts? "I just jizzed all over your floor." "I'm stressed about my vagina!" "Is it just me, or does my penis look really weird?"

I have to say- I think I'm going to like my 30s. The view from here has been pretty good so far.

Anyway, I've also been busy with...um...you know, whatever. My bidness. But I'm back now and will be better about the blogging from here on out.

SOTD: Live Your Life by TI and Rihanna. Because I just dig it. HEEEEYYYYYYYY!

No. Absolutely not.

2009-02-11T18:44:00.000-08:00

Ryan Adams is going to marry Mandy Moore?!?!?!?!

Oh no. Oh HELL no. A piece of my soul just died.

SOOOOOO not ok.

SOTD: Fix It by Ryan Adams. Ryan, baby- we can fix this. You can't marry Mandy Fuckin' Moore. This is unacceptable behavior.

#16 From a new perspective

2009-02-08T16:56:00.000-08:00

First, the intro:

My friend T-rel is one of my college buddies who also has a blog (See: Beutler in Seattle in the links to the right.) He lives in Seattle, and recently mentioned that he was going to learn to snowboard. So, he did that for me so I could cross one more thing off of my list. He called the other night to tell me that he was coming to my b-day party (WHICH WAS AWESOME. Better post on that when I get the pictures from a few other people and loaded from my camera.) Anyway, T-rel decided to write his snowboarding experience in "the voice of Rachel", and he said he had a SOTD picked out and everything, so I told him to have at it. While there was a tiny piece of me that thought, "This is where I find out that T-rel thinks I'm a moron," for the most part, I thought this would be a lot of fun. He sent me this, and I was correct. I had tears streaming down my face reading it, so I hope you enjoy the story of how "I" learned to snowboard. My comments are in blue.

In case nobody noticed I have this list of things I wanted to do before I was thirty. I figured with my summer off and family in the mountains learning to snowboard would be one of the easier options. Well I had to make a special effort to do this because my birthday is coming up really soon and you know what is awesome about a new sport? I get to go SHOPPING! I went shopping because I needed to look the part of a snowboarder and also not to freeze but that was secondary. If I’m going to meet a cutie on the mountain I need to look the part of a snowbunny. I don't talk about shopping here, do I? I don't think I'm that bad...

I’m going to detail my thought process on picking out snowboard gear.
Step 1 – I asked around to figure out what I needed to buy versus what I could rent once I got there. Result – lots of conflicting advice. Go figure. Step 2 – go to the store to shop around. Result – I didn’t buy anything but there was a cute guy who offered to help me. I’m going back tomorrow to flirt with him some more. Step 3 – return to the store to buy essentials because I was a little overwhelmed. Result – I spent way too much money buying gloves, snowpants, a jacket, and goggles. Secondary result – cute guy is dating someone. Suckage! But he wasn’t that cute on second glance anyway or at least that’s what I’m telling myself. Boys are never that cute after you find out they're taken.

You might know this about me but I don’t like to embarrass myself all that much so rather than go on a busy weekend I decided to take a day off of work. The kids won’t even know I’m gone – I’m just going to give them some crayons and leave to snowboard and be back in time to hand them back to the parents. Actually, I used a vacation day and a Sub came in to handle the kids but seriously some days I think the kiddies would have no idea if I left for a few hours. Have I ever said this? It might be true. On top of the clothes I decided to take lessons with my learning to snowboard experience because, well, I figured I would rather spend the money and fall intelligently to make up ground on people who I know already snowboard. Ok, that does sound like me.

What the hell!? I have the day off I might as well kill two birds with one stone and see the Dr. before I head out to the mountain right? Well I’m not going to die so don’t ask me all worried like. That did give me a little bit later start than I wanted because you know really, who wants to fall in the afternoon when you can fall in the morning. And because I figured the earlier I went the sooner I would be going down the mountain in no time.

So I get there and it’s an awesome day – like 30 and sunny and I’m thinking how lucky it is that I randomly picked a good day. That got me thinking about how I spent an hour driving uphill the entire time because the hill I chose is on the backside of Mt. Rainier. How bad ass is that? I mean seriously there is a glacier at the top year around! Take that garbage piles in the Midwest! You suck you know that!? You’re made of garbage piled really high – ugh – how gross is that? Seriously how did they decide that making ski hills out of garbage was a good idea, I mean couldn’t you come up with something else to do with the garbage or a different substance to pile up and make a ski hill out of? This is BY FAR my favorite part. Nicely done, T-rel.

I spent money to rent a board and get two hours of instruction and it was awesome. The first they teach you is how to put on the gear – which is ironic because I had the clothes and looked like I knew what I was doing – ha – little did they know. Anyway, I had a young guy assigned to me, heretofore referred to as cute snowboard guy or CSG for short. (Hee hee! Nicknames!) CSG was great; he taught me all the basics of getting on the board, starting, stopping, turning, and most importantly looking good on my board in my awesome snow garb. I picked out some awesome stuff as it turns out. CSG was jealous but he also turned out to be a complete ski (snowboard bum) – he was 21, lived with his parents during the winter, moves to Alaska during the spring, lives on a glacier and takes gives sled dog tours to cruise ship patrons during the summer. After all that is over he takes all his money and travels overseas until he runs out of money of snowboard seasons starts again, whichever comes first. Actually, now that I think of it, I want to be him. He has no responsibilities and gets to see the world. If CSG wasn’t so young I think I would have tried to eat his face off (AWESOME.) but he also has a girlfriend of some sort. Silly Cute Snowboard Guy.

I went up and down the disco run, which is the Discovery Run, which is a green bunny hill, all day and got pretty good at some turns but the faster you go the harder you fall as well. I was a little sore in lots of places the next day but I loved it I’m totally going to back. I don’t know if I’ll take more lessons but there were some really cute guys hanging out there so it might be worthwhile to really know what I’m doing so I can chat up people on the longer chair rides.

SOTD: is going to be Aerosmith Falling In Love “Is hard on the knees” because I never knew how sore I was going to be.

T-rel- this totally made my day. I LOVE IT. Well done. Anyone else want to guest blog for me? I'm accepting submissions always.

Sadder than sad.

2009-02-05T14:20:00.000-08:00

I just went outside without a coat on, and then went back in and told everyone how warm it feels outside. The tv is on, and it's 10. TEN DEGREES.

Ten degrees felt warm to me. That's the most pathetic thing I've ever heard, Chicago. (Ok, wind chill is 10 degrees. Tomato, tomahto, who the hell cares?)

I get on a plane to AZ in 12 days. Give me a hell yeah!

Also, I'm looking for a new suggestion to add to my list so that it'll be 31 Things to do by 31. Anyone? Then I'll get the rest of this done, I swear.

Also also, I'm going to have a guest blogger very soon. I'm so excited about it I can't even stand it. Seriously. I'm not even going to preview it so that it can be a surprise.

SOTD: Frozen by Madonna. Because Seriously.

Sleepy girl ramblin'

2009-02-02T18:20:00.001-08:00

Hey, you guys- this is my 150th post. Not bad considering I wasn't sure if this was a good idea. I'll be keeping it past the big dirty 30 celebration.

Anyway, a few things that are on my mind today.

First, am I the only one who looks at this shape and sees nothing but T'nA? No seriously. My roommate has already backed me up on this:

Someone really needs to let her know.

Also, has anyone ever noticed what a great swear Puxatawney Phil makes? Pretend you just stubbed your toe and say it out loud. Seriously, it's awesome. I'm totally going to start using that at school.

I learned how to drive stick. Blaire taught me, and it was nothing but giggling in a Burger King parking lot. Then we tried hittin' the streets, and it was nothing but honking and more giggling. I have a pic, but I can't find my cord to load pics to my computer (Sarah, do you still have that?) so too bad for you. One less thing on the list, though.

This is pathetic, but I'm blogging to keep myself awake. I have to stay up until at least 8:30. I have no excuse for why I'm this tired. Not even a little one.

OH YEAH! And my gov. got his ass impeached. I was watching the little press conference he did in front of his house, and my favorite part was after his pretty PR speech, he pretended he was going to go back inside, but then everyone was yelling questions at him. A kid was like, "Hey, will you shoot hoops with me this summer?" And he turns around, cracks up and grabs the kid and says, "Hey, wanna be on tv?" Also, the kid was wearing a Badger hat, which made me feel like he was totally sticking it to Illinois. I bet that part wasn't televised for everyone, but something about it really made me laugh.

SOTD: Light Up the Sky by Yellowcard. Because I heard this song earlier today when I was at the grocery store, having gone in straight from the gym, so I was super tired and gross. I was listening, and for a second my brain heard "Let me light up this guy, let me make this mine, I'll ignite for you." And only like two of those words are wrong, and all of the voices in my head were cracking up. This guy is an idiot! He's going to set himself on fire! Bitches ain't worth it, yo.

8:32. Nighty night.

Just dance.

2009-01-31T12:07:00.000-08:00

Dear Lady Gaga,

(If that is, in fact, your real name.) So you wrote a song about being drunk. I'm not going to pretend I haven't been there. Sucks that you lost your keys and your phone already. But this song gets stuck in my head, and then I look at you, and for some reason you annoy the shit out of me and I can't exactly explain why. It means I hate it, and this has been going on for entirely too long. Like you, I also wish I could shut your playboy mouth.

(No seriously. But what does that even mean?) If you want to expose yourself to this madness, click here.

XOXO,

Rachel

I couldn't handle the neti pot picture first up there anymore. You might think that is water coming out of her nostril, but you would be mistaken.

Oh NO she di'int!

2009-01-23T15:43:00.000-08:00

Oh hell to the no! I totally just stole this picture from someone else's blog, but seriously- I can barely even TALK about the Neti Pot thing, but to actually do it in public? You have got to be f'n kidding me!
No seriously, I'm concerned. It's obvious that this woman is in need of some friends to stop this insanity. I say we look her up and stage an intervention. This is SO not okay.

#29- Mission Abort

2009-01-23T15:24:00.000-08:00

I just sort of looked at the calendar and realized that I'm totally under the gun on accomplishing my 30 things, so I took a good look at what's left, and made plans to go ice skating at Millenium Park. But then I fell down my front steps (yes, ALL of them) and decided that since my entire left cheek is already bruised, I may be putting that one off. BUT, I'm learning to drive stick tonight from Blaire and quite frankly, I wish I could rig a camera to the mirrors, because I think it's going to be hysterical. Wish us both luck!

SOTD: Fallin' by Alicia Keys. Yes, I hit every step on the way down. Yes, I also wish I had a video of that because I was holding an unsealed box full of stuff that all went flying so I bet it was hilarious.

Yes We Can.

2009-01-20T16:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Inauguration Day.

I think my thoughts on today are best summarized by this story from school today.

We went to watch a part of the ceremony in the gym with the "big kids" for a few mins, because that was all the time we had. After the swearing in, when Obama began his speech, one of my 5-year-old boys stood up and put his hand over his heart, like he was about to say the Pledge of Allegiance. He stood there like that until we had to go, but I thought it was amazing that a 5-year-old would be moved like that. I told his mom, and she had tears in her eyes. I just hope that he'll be able to remember this and put it in perspective when he's older.

SOTD: Yes We Can by will.i.am and a whole bunch of other people, including my bf John Legend. I know it's old, and I heard there's a new one out today, but I still dig it.

Yikes.

2009-01-19T16:08:00.000-08:00

Perhaps a little insight into why I am the way I am:

I was talking to my mom last night, just catching up when she says, "Hang on a minute, I have to flash your dad."

Um, what?

He was on the other line, and that's the button she uses to answer his call, but come ON. I told her that next time she needs to re-think her word choice, and then she laughed for about half an hour. Gross.

SOTD: Green Light by John Legend f/Andre 3000. Usually when John Legend is singing to me, he's trying to seduce me a little. On this song, it's not a little bit and he's kind of taunting me...he's got an obsession with us getting down and he's ready to go right now. I defy you to NOT shake your ass to this song. Even Stevie Wonder got down sometimes.

Happy Birthday, Slackey Jay!

2009-01-12T18:24:00.000-08:00

I didn't go to Milwaukee this weekend for Slackey Jay's big 30th b-day bash. It was snowy and even Friday I wasn't 100% back from the sickness, so it ended up being a good thing. Instead, I spent the day disinfecting my apt. like a psychotic germophobe- it felt gooooood.

But back to the real reason I'm posting today- today is Jay's REAL b-day. B-day blogs tend to be sappy or mocking, and I was trying to come up with my favorite drunk college story about Jay, and even though there was the time that I dumped an entire box of cereal in his bed and he didn't yell at me, or the fact that I was there right before he went in to clean out the month-old puke from the bathroom, or the POS voting...among many many others...wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, I walked home from school today (it was the last day before it's going to be ungodly cold so I felt like I had to take advantage) and trying to figure out what to say, and just digging Chicago and the fact that I'm here and how much I like it here when I realized that Jay helped me out a lot here. Jay should have invented Facebook- he put me in contact with the person who got me the job that allowed me to move here. It was someone else that he put me back in contact with who introduced me to the roommates I've had now for over 4 years, who have become a HUGE part of my life. He keeps me in touch with people I'd probably forget otherwise. He's one of the first people I knew who had a blog, and he definitely is one of my most loyal readers/commenters.

So Jay, in looking back at your 30 years on this planet, know that you have definitely helped push my life into a way better place than I knew it could be many years ago when I was leaving Milwaukee. Can't wait to see you and Mary in a few weeks at my shindig!

(I did give the sappy warning, right?)

Jay is also a HUGE fan of the SOTD, so we're going to do a double play in his honor.

SOTD #1: Tempted by Squeeze.
SOTD #2: Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes.

These are his two favorite songs to get stuck in his head. Every month or so, a text goes back and forth between us saying something along the lines of "I'm going to WICHITA!" Crap, it's stuck in my head just from grabbing the YouTube. Hope your party was a great time- I expect a blog, complete with pics soon. Oh yeah- and the profile pick was just for you.

Twentysomething

2009-01-11T13:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I'm cruising through my CD collection yesterday for something I haven't listened to in awhile, when I stumbled across this little gem I bought back in '04:

Hmm. I should probably listen to this, as I'm watching my friends go down left and right with the crossing over to the next decade. So I put it on, and I'm listening to the song "Twentysomething" and I have a few thoughts. Here's my line-by-line breakdown for your reading pleasure:

After years of expensive education

A car full of books and anticipation

I'm an expert on Shakespeare and that's a hell of a lot

But the world don't need scholars as much as I thought

Yeah, buddy, I feel you on this. I can count on one hand the number of people I knew in undergrad who are working in their "major". Especially the English majors. (That's not me ripping on you, just an observation.)

Maybe I'll go traveling for a year

Finding myself, or start a career

Could work the poor, though I'm hungry for fame

We all seem so different but we're just the same

Weird when you figure that out, isn't it? Also, I no longer feel like going traveling for a year is an option for me- apparently I'm an adult? I'm also not as worried about finding myself as I used to be. Huh.

Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat

Aren't things more easy, with a tight six pack

Shut it, I was busy today.

Who knows the answers, who do you trust

I can't even separate love from lust

Buddy, I sooooo cannot help you with that one. But you should definitely figure that out soon, because it will be useful later.

Maybe I'll move back home and pay off my loans

Working nine to five, answering phones

But don't make me live for Friday nights

Drinking eight pints and getting in fights

Another moment of advice from Auntie Rachel- honey, even people who love their jobs live for Friday nights. Answering phones for a living can suck, though, so maybe go in a different direction. Apparently pseudo rock star is working for you. (I use pseudo because this is in no way rock, and most of the songs on here are covers.) Also, EIGHT pints? Oh, you are twentysomething.

Maybe I'll just fall in love

That could solve it all

Philosophers say that that's enough

Philosophers say a lot of things. I don't think it's going to "solve it all". I hear it's nice, but let's be based in reality, mmmkay?

There surely must be more

Love ain't the answer, nor is work

Oh hey! Maybe you aren't such a dumb kid after all! Oh, you're cute. Here's a lollipop.

The truth eludes me so much it hurts

But I'm still having fun and I guess that's the key

I'm a twentysomething and I'll keep being me

Good call, buddy. Good call. Just keep going, and you'll make it out of your 20's and look back and realize that you had a BLAST, and that what little growing up you may have done really is okay. To the babies who read this: (Tricia and Ashley, I'm looking right at you) Just keep having fun and keep being you.

This is seriously what was going through my mind yesterday while I was listening to this. I never said I was normal OR not condescending.

SOTD: Twentysomething by Jamie Cullum. Duh.

Bonus SOTD: Frontin' the Jamie Cullum version. This kid covering Pharrell killed me then, and I still dig it now. It's the real reason I bought this cd. I do miss the Jay-Z part, though.

Banjo Boy

2009-01-09T15:44:00.000-08:00

Here's what you need to know: he's been around for a few weeks and seems to have intentions of sticking around for as long as I let him. (Seems to because he told me so.) He spoils me rotten, and then I call him a suck up, because God forbid I'm nice to him. Then he might think I like him or something, and I have sooooo not owned up to that yet. But, this is how things usually go with this guy: He called me last night to tell me that it would be snowing this morning, and he has to be up anyway, so why doesn't he give me a ride to work? Oh, and he'll pick me up a bagel. Then when he gets here, he's like, "I didn't know if you wanted it toasted so here's one of each and a big bottle of water because you still need to have lots of fluids so you stay feeling better." Seriously, there is no reason to buy 2 bagels, and the water is just thoughtful.

And this is not the first time he's done this. I usually eye him suspiciously, then again tell him he's a suck up. It's an interesting pattern. We'll see how long this lasts.

In other news, I'm for real better today. At least mostly. I skipped work yesterday and slept the day away, but today I was totally all over it.

So there's that. I'm not going to Milwaukee this weekend to celebrate Jay Lackey, so if you are, buy him a shot from me. I'll totally get you back.

SOTD: Keeps Getting Better by Christina Aguilera. In reference to the immune system, not the boy. I can't be that sappy, come on. Also, did anyone else know that the Target commercial is just an ad and not the video? What a waste of time and money! Whatever, I still dig the tune.

So Gross.

2009-01-07T11:13:00.000-08:00

So, here I am, still Sicky Sickerson, but home from school today because I just couldn't go in again feeling so bad. I woke up this morning feeling just as horrendous as I have for the past 4 mornings, and I just couldn't deal. I can't sleep through the night, and I was cranky and emotional about it. I re-read the notes from my dr. visit, and remembered that she told me I could try a neti pot. (If you don't know what that is, I'll wait while you google it because I'm too lazy to explain it.) The thought of it grosses me out- every time anyone has ever brought it up to me, I've been like, "Yeah, or I could stick a needle in my eye or eat glass." But this morning? This morning, I was desperate. So I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and got myself to Walgreens to buy this thing, then dragged myself back home, giving myself a pep talk the whole time. "If this helps, it's worth it, right? I bet it's not that weird. You're going to feel so much better- look! The box says instant relief! Doesn't that sound nice?"

Let me tell you something- it was, quite possibly, the nastiest thing I have ever intentionally done to my face. I don't even want to think about what I saw happening, but the word "drainage" has a whole new meaning for me. And it was not instant relief, but you know what? Two hours later, it's like the fog in my brain is lifted and I can function again. I'm not 100% by any means, but I'm not laying here wishing for a fever so that I could get some drugs. (Which is seriously how I've spend a good chunk of the last few days. I'm going cross-eyed from trying to read my thermometer while it's in my mouth.)

I'm going to spend the rest of the day sitting directly on my ass, and making sure I'm really recuperating so that I can go back to school tomorrow like someone who cares, because I really feel like I need to. (Those kids deserve a teacher who actually wants to see them, not one that is sort of hoping they won't talk to her.) But I'm not dying anymore, and that's the important part. Also? The box says there are people who do this daily to keep their sinuses clean, and that is the weirdest shit I have ever heard. People are CRAZY.

Coming soon? Updates you'll actually be interested in, like the introduction of Banjo Boy. (Nickname courtesy of my sister- thanks Sarah!) You may have noticed that I haven't mentioned match in awhile. Also, Captain Obvious challenges you to guess what instrument he plays.

SOTD goes out to my neti pot- You Are the Best Thing by Ray LaMontagne. "You know I need you hear to clear my mind..."

Cranky Ass.

2009-01-05T16:59:00.000-08:00

Seriously body? I mean, REALLY? How can you do this to me again?

I'm sick. AGAIN. I feel like 2/3 of this stupid blog is me whining about being sick, but this time I can't even blame the kiddies! I hadn't seen them in 2 weeks when it started. Stupid immune system. And so I went to a dr. yesterday to get a strep test, because my throat hurts like a mutha, and it was negative, and she said it's a virus that takes 2 weeks to get over, and she won't give me any drugs. Stupid throat. And I had to go to work today. (If it had been strep, I would have gotten drugs AND been able to skip school with a clear conscience. Stupid virus.)

Cranky. Ass.

Plus, PLUS, I want to plan my b-day party, but that would require interacting with people and I just don't wanna. But hey- everyone keep Feb 7th open, okay?

Whine whine whine whine whine. This sucks. And if this lasts for 2 whole weeks? Oh, AND she said that at some point, I'll probably lose my voice. Um, hi- I spend my days in a room full of 3 and 4 year-olds...let me tell you how well I think me not being able to talk will go. Stupid virus. Viruses ruin EVERYTHING.

I'm totally pouting just typing this. Time for bed. (It is, after all 7:15. Who needs to see 8?)

SOTD: Down with the Sickness. Again, because it makes me happy right now how pissed off that guy is.

Also, honorable mention SOTD, compliments of Jay Lackey, who's 30th b-day I will be celebrating in Milwaukee this weekend, virus pending: Groove is in the Heart by Deee-lite. Groove is in the Heart, sickness is in my throat and I have a blog to whine about it. Try not to be too jealous of my fabulous life.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-02T13:09:00.000-08:00

So, it's 2009 and...am I supposed to be excited? I don't know, it felt very ho hum this year. I know next to no one who did anything out of the ordinary. I had a good night, but not a super exciting one- I drank wine and talked about boys and life with a group of girls. We totally missed the whole countdown thing because we weren't paying attention.

I didn't make any resolutions, because I figure I have a list here of 30 things I'm doing to attempt to change/improve my life, and I've done 16 of them now. Oh- AND the weight loss one? I'm halfway there. I know that may not seem like a big deal, but believe me it IS. I probably won't make the second 15 by my b-day, but I went jeans shopping the other day and didn't want to kill myself, so I'm calling it progress.

Someone tell me a good NYE story. I could use a little scandal up in here.

I'm completely unmotivated to leave my couch today. My couch is a happy place.

SOTD: A Kiss is Not a Contract by Flight of the Conchords. (But it's very nice.) They call it a fly because it takes you up to heaven.

Snippets

2008-12-31T13:05:00.000-08:00

I decided to scrap the idea of doing some cheesy 2008 retrospective until after it's really over. There are a few hours left for the shit to really hit the fan, so let's give it a shot, shall we? Instead, I'm sharing with you a few snippets of conversations I've had over the last few days that have cracked me up.

Upon receiving a DVD of conversations had on Leap Day 2008: (aka the BEST PRESENT EVER)

"That's the end of my bid for the presidency."

On NYE plans:

Frank: All of my friends are in their 30s now and they're lame. Apparently, when you hit 30 you start to suck. I'm totally depressed.

Me: You are SO not invited to my birthday party, asshole.

On Meryn's new shirt:

Me: Wow. Your boobs look really good in that shirt, but it's a tease because I can't actually see anything.

Meryn's boyfriend: Wait until she ties her shoes.

On checking my email:

Someone: I sent you an email with a little attachment.

Me: If it's a picture of your penis, I'm gonna be pissed.

Someone: *silence*

Someone: I guess you'll just have to see, won't you?

Only a few more days of break! Boo! I want it to last forever...

Anyway, everyone have fun tonight and don't let the hype or alcohol convince you to do something you'll regret later. Happy New Year!

XOXO,

Rachel

SOTD: The New Year by Death Cab for Cutie. I think it's pretty obvious why.

PS- it was not a picture of his penis. My sister probably just had a stroke.

A few Christmas pics

2008-12-29T20:40:00.001-08:00

Well hello everyone! I'm back! Did you miss me?

I know in the past I haven't wanted to post pics of my nieces and nephews, but these are so cute (thanks to my sister-in-law's new camera- she took AMAZING pictures) that I can't myself.

I call this one "All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth." My brother was calling them vampires, which cracked me up.

The boys, waiting to be told they could open their presents. The suspense was killing them. Also, all of my college friends who had to look at the baby pictures of my very first nephew? Yeah, that's him on the right. He's 9 now, and in 4th grade. We're sort of old.

I realize that I need to flip this one, but I already loaded it, so f it. This is an early shot of how much food was there. There is a ton more coming, and a whole separate section of real food you can't see. This is mostly the dessert table. I offer this as justification for the size of my ass.

It was awesome to be home with the fam- it flew by, and I've been back in Chi-town for a few days now and it's just been too insane for me to even collect my thoughts. But there's a lot going on. I'll be back with something New Year's themed in the next day or so. Just because I can.

Happy Holidays Everybody!

2008-12-19T18:56:00.001-08:00

This was a big, busy week. But guess who's on BREAK! Can I get a HELL FUCKING YEAH?!?!?!

Also, one of my favorite terms? Thundersnow! It's so dramatic.

I thought we would get a snow day today, but it was not to be. In the end, I was really glad to have gotten to spend a great day with my kids, but it was a busy one and I am sooo tired.

I'm headed for the homestead tomorrow (and please travel gods- let everyone get home safely and in a timely manner!) so blogging will fall by the wayside. I'll be too busy stuffing my face, playing with my awesome nieces and nephews, mocking my siblings, and being a lazy sack of boring. It's going to be so great. Everyone be safe if you're travelling, and enjoy this time!

XOXO,

Rachel

SOTD: Happy Holidays by Andy Williams. It makes me happy. I can't wait to go home tomorrow.

Happy Monday!

2008-12-15T08:53:00.000-08:00

I'm blogging from rest time, with a bunch of squirrel-y kids, but this is too good not to share. Someone is throwing shoes at Bush's head! It made my day. (I don't have sound on my work computer, so I don't know how noisy it is.) It was hilarious.

No SOTD because I don't want to push my luck with the interwebs.

Attention whore

2008-12-13T13:48:00.000-08:00

In case anyone didn't know this about me, I'm kind of an attention whore. I love it. I'm just like a little kid- PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!! I adore being adored. I have a blog so that people will tell me I'm funny. I'm a teacher so that kids have to do what I say. (Ok, that last part is not true.)

I have a post mostly written in my head about reasons why I'm rejecting a lot of the guys on match that I think is pretty funny, but I'm looking at the guys I'm talking to and I'm starting to wonder why. I keep telling people, "I can tell that this guy is soooo into me!" as a joke, but most of the time, it's true and that's why I'm going on all of these dates. Here's the problem though: someone really liking you? It really is only half the battle. The other half is finding someone that you also really like. And going out with people for your own ego is only fun once, then you realize that you're in a bad situation AGAIN. And you have to wrestle with the questions of should I go out with them again? Is the fact that he really likes me enough of a reason? And quite frankly, most of the time, it is not.

Then the guilt starts. Why do I keep doing that? Why do I feel like I owe anyone anything? This is how the dating game is played, not that I'm into playing games. It's not like I'm making any promises that I don't intend to keep, but I've been the person who is really sad when someone doesn't want to go out again and I know it sucks.

There's another guy that I've been emailing who I think falls into this category. I've just recognized this pattern, and I can't decide if I'm being ridiculous, neurotic, overly cautious, or all of the above. I just keep hoping that when I meet them in person I'll find something that I really like, and lately, that hasn't been the case. I don't know how to stop. How do I draw the line between being open-minded about new people and being an attention whore?

This whole story started out way funnier in my head. Damn Catholic guilt complex. Makes me feel bad when I didn't even DO anything.

Ok, something lighter- my work holiday party was last night, and it was a lot of fun. I drank a lot of wine, then woke up on my couch, fully dressed, covered in rice with the tv on at 4 am. That was confusing. So I just got up and went to bed. This morning when I woke up, I brushed my teeth, and I swear to you, it is the single greatest thing I had ever done. Toothbrushes are amazing. Seriously.

SOTD: White Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes. The title just fits my mood today. It's entirely possible that I am just in need of a nap.

Alternate SOTD: Mistake by Fiona Apple. It just got stuck in my head as I re-read this. I'm gonna make a mistake. I'm gonna do it on purpose. Gonna waste my time.

We WIN!

2008-12-09T19:50:00.001-08:00

Oh man! All of you political junkies who've been running on fumes since the election ended? Merry Christmas! (Happy Hanukkah, Jon Stewart!) I give you Rod. And the dude who's sticking it to him, because I'm too lazy to look for another pic where they aren't stuck together.

So all of these people are all, "Illinois is the most corrupt state in the union!" and shit, and all I'm saying is HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOO-HOOOOOO!!!! We're Number ONE! All of our governors go to JAIL. SUCK IT SARAH PALIN! You only dream of being this bad.

(True story: My roommate and I were discussing the above thoughts and she said, "Sarah Palin is going to send him one hell of a fruit basket!")

So all of you out there in the "law abiding" 49? Good luck trying to catch up with our shit. I'm waving my big foam finger right in your face.

SOTD: Totally non-topical, just stuck in my head all day. It's by O.A.R. and it's called Shattered, but I always think it's called Turn the Car Around. No wait! It's totally topical when I get the title right- this one goes out to Rod's career. (I really just think it's funny calling him Rod. Do you see that hair? What a tool!)

Oh poop.

2008-12-03T15:22:00.000-08:00

I sent this tale to my sister earlier today, and she told me that it was my best teaching story yet. So enjoy...

I was waiting for a kid to wrap it up in the bathroom today, when he keeps saying he needs help. I asked him what he needed help with, and he said he had to show me something.

I'm no sucker, so I asked what it was, and he said, "I want you to see that my poop is shaped like the number 7."

I told him I'd take his word for it, and he needed to come out. When he came out he said, "That was SO MUCH POOP. I can't believe it all went down when I flushed."

I didn't even try to keep a straight face.

SOTD: Shitsong by Kate Nash. This youtube was hard to find. Ridiculous.

Rock this bitch.

2008-12-01T19:32:00.000-08:00

So, Turkey Day was good, fam is good, playdate with Tricia was hilarious, blah blah blah.

I don't really have anything to post but this SOTD. And since I will never be able to post anything here where the title is relevant (I have family members who look at this thing), the only reason I'm putting this up is because this song makes me jump up and down doing air guitar on my couch.

Sex On Fire by Kings of Leon.

PS- for those of you (Marisa and maybe Sarah G) who like to start rumors, this seriously is not indicative at all of my love life. I just f'n love this song. Like listening to it on the iPod on repeat the whole way to work love it. I should probably stop, because I'm getting funny looks on the bus.

PPS- What's up with all the chicken in this video? Things this song does not make me think of? Chicken.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-26T07:34:00.000-08:00

Happy turkey day, everyone. I'm headed home to stuff myself into oblivion, and my holiday wishes are for you to do the same. But hands off my cheesy potatoes, bitches.

XOXO,

Rachel

Spiderman

2008-11-23T19:30:00.000-08:00

This should help anyone who's having some Monday morning workin' blues. Because if you're working, you're probably in better shape than this guy.

SOTD: Bills, Bills, Bills by Destiny's Child. With the original chicks that Beyonce screwed over later.

DOUCHE!!!!

2008-11-21T22:42:00.000-08:00

I'm A BIT DRUNK and for a second I couldn't turn off the caps. Funny, right?

But blog readers, get THIS: I was totally just hit on by the biggest douche EVER. I'm all out eatin' dinner with Shaynea, and then we decide that a few bottles of wine are a good idea in public, and then these dudes pull their table up to ours with some phenomenal guac, and I'm nothing if not a sucker for guac, and then the next thing I know, dude sitting next to me is all, "I think you're awesome* but can I be honest with you? I totally want to take you home tonight, but my gf is having my baby in 3 weeks and then I'm going to have a baby boy."

And I'm all scooting 10 feet away and saying, "I think it sounds like you have a lot on your plate" and trying to escape and he's all, "But I'm super attracted to you**!" and I'm like, "Dude, I think you have issues."

For real universe? This is what you're giving me? Are you trying to turn me into a cat lady?

SOTD: Baby Mama by Three 6 Mafia. For reals, WTF?!??!?!?! Universe, I just don't understand waht you're trying to tell me.

*I swear I'm not conceited, this is what he said to stroke my ego, I did nothing to provoke it.

** At this point, his flattery (while GREAT for the ego) was super creepy and I was running away and siccing him on Shaynea who was a phenomenal wingwoman.

And I may or may not delete this later, but I could not f'n believe this evening. Gross.

UPDATE: I just came back to this, considering deleting it, but you know what? I'm a funny rambly drunk, and everything you see here is true so whatever. I mean, it's morning now and I mostly feel sorry for this guy who is obviously a mess, but that will not stop the mockery!

It's Always Sunny

2008-11-20T19:23:00.001-08:00

"I am going to slap your face off your face!"

SOTD: Day Man. This show rocks my world.

(There will be new and 1000x more awesome clips of this on the interwebs tomorrow, but my tribute could not wait.)

It's a fine art.

2008-11-19T18:07:00.000-08:00

My kids were 100% batshit insane today. I could not wait to come home, and I've already over-consumed on the Nutella in dealing with it. (Healthy, right? Help me ignore the bottle of wine in the fridge. Geez, stop talking about it, that is SO not helping!)

...um, what was I saying?

OH YEAH! The highlight of today, was that I am totally leaving my mark on these kids and how they deal with people. How do I know? See the following conversation.

Me: Ok, Mr. O, you can get up from your nap now and we'll head outside for recess.

Kid: But, I don't even LIKE recess.

Me: What?! Are you kidding me?!

Kid: HA! I tricked you! I can't believe you fell for that! You're so silly.

I have passed on sarcasm and mockery, and it only took 3 months. I am the Best. Teacher. Ever.

SOTD: Don't You Evah by Spoon. First, I like that they spell it "evah". It's fabulous. Also, I like that it starts with an argument with their producer because he can't work the machine. (You have to listen really closely to understand them.) Finally, because I said something along those lines more times today than I care to count. "We do not EVER throw toys in school...etc, etc, etc."

Sunday catch up

2008-11-16T16:53:00.000-08:00

You know how in college you had to call your mom every Sunday night to check in? That's what I feel like I'm doing in this blog post. It might be dull, but just some stuff on my mind.

First things first, I finally feel better! It's been a looooooong road with a lot of sniffling and misery, and you get to the point where you don't even realize how bad you felt until you realize how much better you feel.

It's snowing, and I was out walking around running errands and it didn't piss me off. It was actually really pretty. But that's IT. Don't make me regret telling you that, sky!

I'm debating going on another match break, because as fun as the last week has been, it's been disappointing and it starts to get harder to bounce back. We'll see.

I have to get through this week, and then I have the ENTIRE WEEK of Thanksgiving off. I haven't had a day off where I wasn't sick or at a funeral since Labor Day, and while I realize that's probably true of most corporate gigs, this is WAY harder. I'd heard that rumor, but I was never sure if I believed it for real, but believe me- I do now.

The Barnes and Noble closest to my house is closing, and that is going to make my life harder BUT I just made out like a bandit on Thank you notes and Christmas cards. I may even send them out before February this year, how awesome would that be?

I never did say much about the election, but I don't think it's a secret that I'm pretty psyched. And as much as I got a little sick of it, and I was ready for it to be over, I think I'm suffering from a little bit of withdrawal. I'm in the middle of a really long but FASCINATING (and week old) Newsweek article about all of the big players in the whole campaign. I highly recommend it.

Today is Sarah's 30th birthday. I didn't get to go celebrate with her because airlines are mean and make plane tickets too expensive. And I've been basically phoning in everything in my life, so she's not getting a card yet, but she will get a SOTD!

SOTD: Gloria by Laura Branigan. We used to lay on the floor of our dorm rooms freshman year in MN and sing this song at the top of our lungs. Our neighbors LOVED that. But even though we only lived in the same place for 9 months of our lives, she is still one of the people in this world who I can call anytime I want and know that she knows me. She will call me out when I'm being ridiculous, she will make me laugh when I'm sad, and she will always laugh at me in the good way. She's amazing, and I hope she's enjoying her big b-day. I used to call her The Bitch, but she's totally mellowed out in the last few years, so I just want to say: Sarah, don't forget: You don't have to answer! Leave 'em hanging on the line!

Nope.

2008-11-15T07:34:00.000-08:00

Asian Dr?

No. Just no.

And the worst part is that in the back of my mind? I knew better. But it was all so good for my ego and I thought it was so funny. That guy is so never going to hear from me again. Which probably makes him sad, but oh well.

SOTD: Never Gonna Get It by En Vogue. He was watching me eat! It was horrible!

Entertainment attempt

2008-11-13T19:36:00.000-08:00

I referenced shenanigans in the last post, and now I'm thinking it's funny enough to talk about now that I'm this far in:

I'm going on 3 first dates within a one week period. I'm two dates in, and...eh. Meh. Whatever. The first one was good, and I think I'll go out with him again, just to see. We talked yesterday, but he was totally on to the fact that I was still sick, so I don't know if he's questioning it or what. I may or may not have been less than charming and totally full of snot when I met that guy, who we will call E, because I don't have anything nickname-worthy on him, and that is his intial.

Remember that I'm the girl who can go like 3 years at a time without a date, so this is ridiculous for me. It's 100% because I stopped caring what any of these match dudes think of me, and now they are all up in my bidness.

The second date...I was calling him DP all day as in "Douchebag Potential".

I guess he's not a douche. I think he's shy, but not that interesting. But he was like, "That was a good time, and I'll see you again soon" at the end of it, so we'll see. But I could care less. So, that means I'll probably hear from him and go out again even if my inner monologue is all, "Probably not a great idea."

Tomorrow I'm meeting an Asian Dr., which is hilarious if you know Asian stereotypes. As my lovely friend Jean said, "My parents will be so jealous!" He went ahead and bumped up drinks to dinner, so he's obviously totally in to me.

I can't think of any songs about serial dating, except this one. And when it's stuck in your head, I sincerely apologize, and I am accepting better suggestions in the comments section. Do what you need to.

Mambo #5- Lou Bega. If only I could actually name these people online, but that is SOOOO wrong at this stage of the game. So it's the best I could come up with. Wish me luck tomorrow!

Also, there is a Gilmore Girls clip about being a casual dater out there that I wish I wasn't too lazy to find, because it's been running through my head for days.

PS- tonight totally counts at #9. I would not have normally gone out with this guy, but it's called keeping an open mind...leaving no stone unturned, etc. etc.

Living legacy

2008-11-12T15:45:00.001-08:00

Ashley was thinking about giving me crap for not posting much (like she's so great about it), but I've been busy with the sickness or funerals.

I stayed home from work again today. I think my body was just like, "Look, you're exhausted and you're not going to get any better if you don't sleep..." so it made sleeping all day today a non-negotiable issue.

But let me just say this: Saying goodbye to my grandpa was very hard, but very beautiful. I almost put on makeup the morning of the funeral- something I rarely do- but then I looked in the mirror and thought, "Really, you big cry baby? You think you're going to make it?" And that was a wise decision. Buying stock in Kleenex last week would have been a wise move. I'm actually surprised that I didn't hear financial analysts talking about it.

SOTD is sappy today.

Leader of the Band by Dan Fogelberg. My cousin Shaughn reworked the lyrics of this song as a tribute at the funeral, and I'm pretty sure there was not a dry eye in the house when he finished. I was sitting right in front of him, and I have no idea how he made it through. But looking around the church that day, I couldn't think of a more fitting tribute than a song that says that we are nothing but his living legacy. Sheer numbers alone would be impressive (11 kids, 35 grandkids, 19 great-grandkids but that will probably shoot up to 20 by the end of this week), but everyone within that group is also amazing. Well done, Grandpa. Well done.

I'll try to get back to smart-assery and shenanigans soon. This weekend is showing some promise on that end.

XOXO,

Rachel

Boo-urns

2008-11-06T16:01:00.000-08:00

I'm sick. And I've been sick since Tuesday, when I slept through history being made. More on that when I can create coherent thoughts without the interference of snot in my brain. Being sick sucks ass.

Really, this is a plea: I've been home all day, and there are no cookies in my house. Please send cookies.

That is all.

SOTD: I don't even care. Find something fun for yourself. I'm sick and cranky because there are no cookies.

My grandpa

2008-11-05T16:39:00.000-08:00

My grandpa passed away today. And that makes me sad for me, and for his kids (like my dad) who are having to deal with that loss. But really, all I can think about is how much he has told everyone that he just wanted to go be with my grandma. And I don't know how long it takes to get past that whole St. Peter/gates of heaven thing? But I've got to believe that they are hanging out right now and they are thrilled to see each other. My grandma's had her hands full being guardian angel to all of their kids and grandkids and great-grandkids, and I bet she's glad to have a hand with all of that.

I had a dream last week that I was at their house, and I saw her wandering around and I knew that it was a ghost, so I asked her why she was there. She told me that she was just checking up on everyone, and that I was just fine. Now, I'm thinking she was just coming to get grandpa. But obviously, you can't go around telling kids that, even in their dreams. That's creepy.

Anyway, I hope this doesn't come off as callous, or like I don't care. That is not the case. But it is the way I am choosing to see it.

Um, what?

2008-11-02T17:55:00.001-08:00

Did anyone else realize that it's totally November right now? WTF? Where have I been? Time for bed, yo. I just did not see that coming.

SOTD: November Rain by GnR. Supposedly, we're finally going to get a new cd from them. I'll believe it when I see it.

BABY GIRL!!!!!!

2008-10-29T18:51:00.000-07:00

Big fat congrats to Jenn and Zack who have a baby girl! I can't wait to meet Ms. Layla Mae.

SOTD: Baby Mine by Alison Krauss. (Also, HIMYM fans, the video says "Canada Day". What up Robin Sparkles!)

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

2008-10-27T18:51:00.000-07:00

I saw this movie yesterday, and OH MY GOD. High school me would have been OBSESSED with this movie. It's got all kinds of awesome music and stuff, and Michael Cera. And I love that kid, if only he didn't make me feel like a cougar...

So yeah. Go see it now that it's cold and shitty and stuff outside.

XOXO,

Rachel

SOTD is from the soundtrack- Baby, You're My Light by Richard Hawley.

PS- I don't know if this is getting the kind of national coverage that it is here, but if I were Jennifer Hudson, I'm not sure I'd ever be able to get out of bed again. Or survive. Go hug your loved ones.

#17- "Ok is better than No Way"

2008-10-26T14:59:00.000-07:00

I had a match date last night, and I'm going to go ahead and claim that I've accomplished #17 on the list and had a blind date. Since my waitress was asking me if it was a blind date when he went to the bathroom, it totally counts.

And like I told a lot of people, it was okay. And my very wise sister said, "Ok is better than no way." He was very nice, and he was funny and he laughed at my jokes. He also looked exactly like his picture, which is nice. I've totally been a victim of the bait and switch before, so he totally earns points for that.

And we'll see. It could go either way, and that's fine. And that's all I'm going to say about it, because it feels weird to be talking about it, but I realized I haven't crossed anything off of my list in awhile.

What should I do next? Does anyone have a stick shift car they can bring to Chicago and teach me to drive it?

SOTD: First Date by Blink-182. Because it makes me laugh and it's close to being topical-ish.

D-bags.

2008-10-23T16:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Douche Bag who thought it was necessary to email me two weeks after our last interaction on match to tell me that you weren't interested,

Really? You should probably take a second to get over yourself. I will now spend the next 30 seconds mocking your sorry ass in my brain ...and, I'm done.

XOXO,

Rachel

Also, I've been having dreams about going on dates with jerks all week. Last night it was a guy who forgot to take off his wedding ring. The night before, the dude had the nastiest teeth I've ever seen. I think my brain is reminding me to hold on to my rule of low expectations. (For those of you who don't know, the rule is that if you go in with low expectations, it's hard to be disappointed. Also, you may have noticed how long I've been single.)

SOTD: Dickhead by Kate Nash. Two other links: When I typed dickhead into the you tube search, this popped up and it makes me happy. Also, this website Reasons Why I Dumped You cracks me up. Over eager penis pic emailer is my favorite.