How I Spent My Summer Vacation Part 2: France

After a few days of mooching off my brother in Amsterdam, I headed to France to spend a few days in Normandy to do a D-day tour and go to a friend's wedding, then one day in Paris, just because I could. Note to self: Marry a Frenchie. They throw awesome weddings and they have the best wine and cheese.

This is actually the key to our hotel room in Bayeux. How cool is that?

This is seriously what it looks like when you walk around in Bayeux. I think that's just someone's house. One night we were just out wandering around, and out of nowhere this choir showed up and started singing. It is bizarre and magical and beautiful. Also, we were pretty drunk, but it really did seem like magic.



Again, wine makes things funnier, but my friend Susan bought these and then pointed out, "Ok, so does anyone else notice that these are called 'Fingers' and it looks like the package says, 'Fondle'?" Best cookies ever.


If you were a D-Day soldier, you would know that this is the map of where all of the attacks had to happen. I can't make any sense of it, and it was explained to me in detail. It's amazing what people are capable of. This is on the wall of a memorial that will break your heart and make you cry, but if you ever get the chance, you should still go.


Barbed wire on a beach. War is bad, boys and girls. Don't ever let anyone tell you anything different.


Bomb craters. But there's still vegetation. It's like Mother Nature was like, "OW! Whatever, I'm still gonna grow some trees."


Once we were done with the good times in Bayeux, we headed to Caen for the wedding. (Not to be confused with Cannes.) Instead of a rehearsal dinner, the lovely French family invited the visiting Americans over for wine and cheese. And they SO delivered on that promise. They had a ginormous cherry tree in their backyard, so the evening obviously devolved into a pit spitting contest. See those mad skills? I kicked Blaire's ass.

I mean, really. If you're going to get married in France, this is totally the kind of place where it needs to happen. Am I right?


After the wedding, we had a 4th of July picnic (in France. It was strange, but so nice.) then it was off to Paris! We got there, went out to dinner, then went for a little walk. Oh that? Yeah, that's me hanging out in front of Notre Dame. On a bridge over the Seine. Beautiful, right? (Beautiful, gorgeous, wish you were here!) Except that when I look at this picture, all I can think is, "That stupid bitch has no idea what's about to happen to her." Yeah, don't eat the escargot at the place down the street from my hotel. (What? I was in France! When in France...) I have never been so sick in my life. I honestly wasn't sure I was going to make it out alive. I had a whole lot of crazy brain lying on the bathroom floor of my hotel room, but I did make it. AND! I didn't need to do a post-France diet, so there's a plus. On the downside, I missed a huge chunk of my one day in Paris.

BUT! How funny is this chair? It's so tiny! Why bother even putting it into a hotel room? Is it for little people?

SOTD: Nothin' on You by B.o.B. and Bruno Mars. This song was stuck in my head the whole time I was in France. Why? Not sure. Although, it was a tie between this and the song from Beauty and the Beast that starts with them saying "Bonjour!" over and over again.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation Part 1: Amsterdam

August?! Really? Oops.

So, let me take this time to fill you in on what I've been up to all summer, because it has been pretty stinkin' fabulous. Once school got out, and I did my tri, I hopped on a plane to Amsterdam. My brother Tom is living there now with his family, so I got to check it out. I highly recommend the city- I even recommend taking a quick detour through the red light district, but go during the day and be aware that you are going to see more than you ever want to.



See look?! I'm really there!



A horrible picture, but it's part of why I've decided that I love the Dutch: This is a beautiful piece of art in the middle of the city, and if you could see what it says, you would be reading, in Latin, "Men, don't pee in the wind." It's awesome. I like my art with a sense of humor.




OK, these are all on their sides and I'm too lazy to fix it. But how cool is this sign? The triple X is the Amsterdam city symbol. They do love their bikes there, and it is very cool to see the downtown just crammed full of bikes.


Um, in case you can't tell, that's a urinal, just out in the middle of the street in case you need to stop in all of your wandering to pee. It made me laugh so hard, but I respectfully waited for the dude I spotted over there to finish up before I took this picture. You're welcome, random dude.


I was there during World Cup Madness, and every bar looked liked this. I'm not sure if the extent of the orange really comes through, but it was cool.


The canals. The city is built on canals, so this is what you see everywhere you go. I'm hoping that the next time I go back, Tom will have bought a boat. Supposedly, this are full of bikes. Good stuff.

Next up: France.

SOTD: Amsterdam by Peter, Bjorn and John. If you need an explanation on that one...

Best Summer Ever

Ok, so I have SO MANY better things to blog about, including PICTURES!

But for now, I simply have to say that I'm having my best summer ever. Europe pictures and stories coming, but first, I must head to Lake Placid for week for outdoor fun and laziness, and a possible run to Canada just because I can.

Wine + my backyard + my fabulous friends = my life does not suck. Plane tickets never hurt the equation, nor does family.

SOTD: Bulletproof by La Roux. The first time I heard this song, I was all, "Don't I already know this song? Didn't it come out when I was like 8?" Does that make it any less cool? No, not really. This time, baby, I'll be BULLETPROOF.

TRI!

Ladies and gentlemen! I did it! I'm a triathlete! Photographic evidence below...


I love this picture because you can't tell what's going on. Why am I in a field? Where is everyone else? Am I lost? If this was any bigger, you would see so many more people and flags and shenanigans, but nope. All you see is wilderness.

FINISHED! And super psyched about it. But lady behind me? Stop stealing all of my awesome moves.

Welcome to the gun show my friends. #600 was so cute that Blaire just went ahead and married him. Like 3 years ago, but still.

Me in the middle of the two people I conned into racing with me, enjoying a post-race beer. The beer tent was next to the ice cream tent. If you didn't already know I was in Wisconsin, that should be your first clue. 'sconnie's know how to party!

Me and my cousin, who kicked my ass, but she's cute so I forgive her.

Overall, it was an amazing awesome experience, and I think everyone should try it. I want to do a few more this summer, but they are expensive, so I'm working it out. But seriously, it was so fun and I wasn't even sore the next day. The bike was my favorite part, hands down. I'm excited to head to CO this summer to ride on some real hills.

A HUGE shout out to Skylar for being the only one to remember her camera the whole weekend.

SOTD: Ridin' Dirty by Chameleon. How bored are these dudes in their mom's basement?

PS- SCHOOL'S OUT! FOR! SUMMER!

An update on my dating life

I just mentioned wishing I was in love.

And then some dude on okcupid sent me this:

"You seem interesting, as long as you're not like crazy or anything, I'd be up for getting a coffee and some stimulating conversation. Hit me back!"

And I am reminded that this is SUPPOSED to be work. Because seriously.

I sort of do want to hit him back. As in smacking him and telling him that he's a moron. I also got one the other day that said something like, "It's not all about looks, but my face is happy looking at your face." Are you 7? WTF IS that?

SOTM(M is for moment, because we already have one for the day): If It Kills Me by Jason Mraz. "I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it KILLS me... it might kill me."

Killin' it

I spent a lot of time yesterday afternoon with my friend Ali, and for reasons I can't explain, she was KILLING IT. I couldn't stop laughing. A few choice gems:

"Hey! You should drop trou so I can see your bruises, just please keep your ass covered."

"Whoa! My sippy cup has an erection!"

And then, watching something where a fat guy went out a window:

"Oh now that just makes me think of poop."

She's moving in a month. I can't even think about it.

SOTD: Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. This song makes me really happy. Then it makes me wish that I was in love, which sounds depressing, but no, seriously- isn't this just the kind of song that you want to hear on a summer day?

I quit!

Ladies and gentlemen,

I wanted to take this formal opportunity to announce that as of this moment, I QUIT THIS WEEK. (I'm quitting the WEEK, not any sort of job or anything. I can do that, right? Just call it over?)

The first thing is that after a few weeks of calm, spring has sprung and my kids went balls out cuckoo for cocoa puffs. I'm done with them. They make me so tired, and less able to deal with other stressors. Such as...

I had 2 little boys, probably about 7, spying on me while I was in the shower. Good thing I've perfected my mean teacher voice. Also, I told my neighbors, who are totally okay with turning the hose on them if they ever show up in the yard again. Also, if anyone reading this knows my dad, DO NOT TELL HIM THIS STORY. He will show up here with a baseball bat, and that's just bad for neighborhood relations.

But wait! I'm not done. I was just out riding my bike, picking up my groceries like I do, when I officially joined the Urban Cyclist club. How did I do that? I GOT DOORED. You guys? That shit hurts. I was fine, but now it's about an hour later and everything is starting to hurt, and I think I may have more bruises than I realized. My head actually hit a minivan. Yes, I was wearing my helmet, and more importantly, yes, the bottle of wine in my backpack remained intact. But SERIOUSLY.

So there it is. My letter of resignation from this week. I will be in my house ignoring the world until tomorrow. Next week has to be better, right?

XOXO,

Rachel

SOTD: It Sucks to Be Me from Avenue Q. On the upside, I saw this yesterday and if you have a chance, I highly recommend it. Things you can learn: The internet is really great for porn, it's okay to be gay, how pervy you'll feel watching puppets have sex (true!), and that Glenn Beck is only for now. Oh, and that everyone is racist.