Just dance.

Dear Lady Gaga,

(If that is, in fact, your real name.) So you wrote a song about being drunk. I'm not going to pretend I haven't been there. Sucks that you lost your keys and your phone already. But this song gets stuck in my head, and then I look at you, and for some reason you annoy the shit out of me and I can't exactly explain why. It means I hate it, and this has been going on for entirely too long. Like you, I also wish I could shut your playboy mouth.

(No seriously. But what does that even mean?) If you want to expose yourself to this madness, click here.

XOXO,

Rachel

I couldn't handle the neti pot picture first up there anymore. You might think that is water coming out of her nostril, but you would be mistaken.

Oh NO she di'int!

Oh hell to the no! I totally just stole this picture from someone else's blog, but seriously- I can barely even TALK about the Neti Pot thing, but to actually do it in public? You have got to be f'n kidding me!
No seriously, I'm concerned. It's obvious that this woman is in need of some friends to stop this insanity. I say we look her up and stage an intervention. This is SO not okay.

#29- Mission Abort

I just sort of looked at the calendar and realized that I'm totally under the gun on accomplishing my 30 things, so I took a good look at what's left, and made plans to go ice skating at Millenium Park. But then I fell down my front steps (yes, ALL of them) and decided that since my entire left cheek is already bruised, I may be putting that one off. BUT, I'm learning to drive stick tonight from Blaire and quite frankly, I wish I could rig a camera to the mirrors, because I think it's going to be hysterical. Wish us both luck!

SOTD: Fallin' by Alicia Keys. Yes, I hit every step on the way down. Yes, I also wish I had a video of that because I was holding an unsealed box full of stuff that all went flying so I bet it was hilarious.

Yes We Can.

Happy Inauguration Day.

I think my thoughts on today are best summarized by this story from school today.

We went to watch a part of the ceremony in the gym with the "big kids" for a few mins, because that was all the time we had. After the swearing in, when Obama began his speech, one of my 5-year-old boys stood up and put his hand over his heart, like he was about to say the Pledge of Allegiance. He stood there like that until we had to go, but I thought it was amazing that a 5-year-old would be moved like that. I told his mom, and she had tears in her eyes. I just hope that he'll be able to remember this and put it in perspective when he's older.

SOTD: Yes We Can by will.i.am and a whole bunch of other people, including my bf John Legend. I know it's old, and I heard there's a new one out today, but I still dig it.

Yikes.

Perhaps a little insight into why I am the way I am:

I was talking to my mom last night, just catching up when she says, "Hang on a minute, I have to flash your dad."

Um, what?

He was on the other line, and that's the button she uses to answer his call, but come ON. I told her that next time she needs to re-think her word choice, and then she laughed for about half an hour. Gross.

SOTD: Green Light by John Legend f/Andre 3000. Usually when John Legend is singing to me, he's trying to seduce me a little. On this song, it's not a little bit and he's kind of taunting me...he's got an obsession with us getting down and he's ready to go right now. I defy you to NOT shake your ass to this song. Even Stevie Wonder got down sometimes.

Happy Birthday, Slackey Jay!

I didn't go to Milwaukee this weekend for Slackey Jay's big 30th b-day bash. It was snowy and even Friday I wasn't 100% back from the sickness, so it ended up being a good thing. Instead, I spent the day disinfecting my apt. like a psychotic germophobe- it felt gooooood.

But back to the real reason I'm posting today- today is Jay's REAL b-day. B-day blogs tend to be sappy or mocking, and I was trying to come up with my favorite drunk college story about Jay, and even though there was the time that I dumped an entire box of cereal in his bed and he didn't yell at me, or the fact that I was there right before he went in to clean out the month-old puke from the bathroom, or the POS voting...among many many others...wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, I walked home from school today (it was the last day before it's going to be ungodly cold so I felt like I had to take advantage) and trying to figure out what to say, and just digging Chicago and the fact that I'm here and how much I like it here when I realized that Jay helped me out a lot here. Jay should have invented Facebook- he put me in contact with the person who got me the job that allowed me to move here. It was someone else that he put me back in contact with who introduced me to the roommates I've had now for over 4 years, who have become a HUGE part of my life. He keeps me in touch with people I'd probably forget otherwise. He's one of the first people I knew who had a blog, and he definitely is one of my most loyal readers/commenters.

So Jay, in looking back at your 30 years on this planet, know that you have definitely helped push my life into a way better place than I knew it could be many years ago when I was leaving Milwaukee. Can't wait to see you and Mary in a few weeks at my shindig!

(I did give the sappy warning, right?)

Jay is also a HUGE fan of the SOTD, so we're going to do a double play in his honor.

SOTD #1: Tempted by Squeeze.
SOTD #2: Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes.

These are his two favorite songs to get stuck in his head. Every month or so, a text goes back and forth between us saying something along the lines of "I'm going to WICHITA!" Crap, it's stuck in my head just from grabbing the YouTube. Hope your party was a great time- I expect a blog, complete with pics soon. Oh yeah- and the profile pick was just for you.

Twentysomething

Yesterday, I'm cruising through my CD collection yesterday for something I haven't listened to in awhile, when I stumbled across this little gem I bought back in '04:

Hmm. I should probably listen to this, as I'm watching my friends go down left and right with the crossing over to the next decade. So I put it on, and I'm listening to the song "Twentysomething" and I have a few thoughts. Here's my line-by-line breakdown for your reading pleasure:

After years of expensive education

A car full of books and anticipation

I'm an expert on Shakespeare and that's a hell of a lot

But the world don't need scholars as much as I thought

Yeah, buddy, I feel you on this. I can count on one hand the number of people I knew in undergrad who are working in their "major". Especially the English majors. (That's not me ripping on you, just an observation.)

Maybe I'll go traveling for a year

Finding myself, or start a career

Could work the poor, though I'm hungry for fame

We all seem so different but we're just the same

Weird when you figure that out, isn't it? Also, I no longer feel like going traveling for a year is an option for me- apparently I'm an adult? I'm also not as worried about finding myself as I used to be. Huh.

Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat

Aren't things more easy, with a tight six pack

Shut it, I was busy today.

Who knows the answers, who do you trust

I can't even separate love from lust

Buddy, I sooooo cannot help you with that one. But you should definitely figure that out soon, because it will be useful later.

Maybe I'll move back home and pay off my loans

Working nine to five, answering phones

But don't make me live for Friday nights

Drinking eight pints and getting in fights

Another moment of advice from Auntie Rachel- honey, even people who love their jobs live for Friday nights. Answering phones for a living can suck, though, so maybe go in a different direction. Apparently pseudo rock star is working for you. (I use pseudo because this is in no way rock, and most of the songs on here are covers.) Also, EIGHT pints? Oh, you are twentysomething.

Maybe I'll just fall in love

That could solve it all

Philosophers say that that's enough

Philosophers say a lot of things. I don't think it's going to "solve it all". I hear it's nice, but let's be based in reality, mmmkay?

There surely must be more

Love ain't the answer, nor is work

Oh hey! Maybe you aren't such a dumb kid after all! Oh, you're cute. Here's a lollipop.

The truth eludes me so much it hurts

But I'm still having fun and I guess that's the key

I'm a twentysomething and I'll keep being me

Good call, buddy. Good call. Just keep going, and you'll make it out of your 20's and look back and realize that you had a BLAST, and that what little growing up you may have done really is okay. To the babies who read this: (Tricia and Ashley, I'm looking right at you) Just keep having fun and keep being you.

This is seriously what was going through my mind yesterday while I was listening to this. I never said I was normal OR not condescending.

SOTD: Twentysomething by Jamie Cullum. Duh.

Bonus SOTD: Frontin' the Jamie Cullum version. This kid covering Pharrell killed me then, and I still dig it now. It's the real reason I bought this cd. I do miss the Jay-Z part, though.