Allow me to preface this with the fact that I've been drinking while home alone for a few hours now. I'm superfly classy, and everyone wants to be me when they grow up.
Moving is hard. And it's not like it's a secret. But I've had some weird days. I live by myself now. So I can be messy, but I don't WANT to be. And I can't remember exactly where everything is quite yet. And I keep catching myself doing weird things. Like (this is weird) I've always been a my side of the bed type of girl. I think I was afraid that if I ever got into the habit of taking up the whole bed, if I ever found anyone else who'd want to sleep there, I wouldn't be able to adjust. But in trying to assert myself in this new home, to really make me feel at home here, I've been taking up the whole bed. I'm sleeping dead center and spreading out my arms and really taking up space. I like it.
But it's like I think all of my decisions are final. I can't decide on paint colors. I can't choose any art. I can't even THINK about the rugs I need.
Plus, school is almost out. It's somehow completely overwhelming, even though I can't exactly point to what's making it hard. I don't REALLY have that much more work. The kids are not exponentially crazier (for the most part.) I just can't seem to focus on anything and find myself uttering the phrase "When school is out" more often than I think is really necessary.
Basically, I'm somehow overwhelmed and unsettled for the time being. But I'm working on it. Come visit anytime. Housewarming on 6/13 if you'll be in Chicago. Details to come.
SOTD: Lilac Wine by Jeff Buckley. I was trying to find the Nina Simone version, but youtube is being uncooperative. This is, however, not a sloppy second, just not exactly what I wanted. "I drink much more than I oughta drink...Lilac wine, I feel unsteady... Lilac wine, I feel unready..."
Also, I've been stopping constantly to smell the lilacs all over Chicago. Spring fever? Hell yeah, bring it.