Thursday, March 26, 2009

Not to worry

So I know I've been an absent blogger lately, but I've got a lot going on and most of it is not my story to tell. But not to worry, eventually it will pass and I'll be back to rambling about whatever. A few highlights:

Remember when I was talking about how much booze I had left in my house post b-day party? Not to worry, the beer has been relocated (to BB and his friends) and I've taken care of most of the wine. And there is still plenty of hard stuff that will be perfect for backyard bbq's this summer, because oh yeah, did I mention? I've got a backyard, suckas!

I'm also working on the wine as I type. One more day until spring break, then it's pack-up-palooza up in this bitch. Who's jealous?!

One of my kids thought I had my pants on backwards the other day, and he was like, "Ms. K, I notice something different about your pants..." When I demonstrated that I had pockets on both the front and the back (the source of the confusion) he was visibly relieved. I told him that it was sweet of him to be concerned.

These are pretty lame stories to be called "highlights". I'll work on being a more interesting person whenever I get a chance.

I've got a list of SOTD's for you to account for the fact that I may be a blog slacker for a bit:

Love Lockdown by Kanye West. I don't know what it means, I just know I dig it. I don't think I'm on Love Lockdown.

Penis Song- for Sarah and Timmy.

One Step at a Time by Jordin Sparks. This song used to annoy me, and it was on my cousin Tricia's blog and it drove me nuts to hear the footsteps when I was just trying to see what she was up to. But then I was a bit stressed over the condo the other day, and I heard it and I had a really cheesy embarrassing moment of "Yeah, she's right. It's gonna be cool, just keep doing what you need to do..." Then I realized what I was thinking and mocked myself for a long time. Whatever, you like me anyway. I'm allowed to change my mind.

Be Gentle With Me by The Boy Most Likely To. I heard this when I was watching Baby Mama a few months ago and hunted it down. The chorus just fits my brain right now. And I am fully aware of how sad every part of that statement is. HOLD UP! I just started watching this video, and I have two more thoughts. 1) Those stuffed animals are cute. 2) RASHIDA JONES? Shut the fuck up. I am SO SICK of you showing up everywhere I live in my dream world. Just stop it. I'm trying to hate you. (Seriously, it's no fair- she gets to be in all of these cool movies with awesome dudes AND date Jim Halpert? It's just not right.)

Chasing Pavement by Adele. I don't know why. I still dig angsty stuff even when I'm not angsty.

And because you're already YouTubing, this is one of my favorite things of the last few months. The kid just kills me- "Why is this happening to me?!" "Is this real life?" This is totally what I think Drunk Rachel sounds like.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Here's hoping that you're reading this in a green beer haze...except for you Sarah- green oj only for you!

Looking for answers like, "Wear green" or "Look for leprechauns", I asked my kids what you do on St. Patrick's Day. One of my 5-year-olds raised his hand and said, "Go to a parade and drink alcohol." Hell yeah, Chicago kid! What did YOU do last weekend?

Also, when we were little, my mom used to dye our milk and oj green before we woke up for breakfast. It was always hilarious, until the year that she accidentally used the mint flavored food case you missed the memo, mint + oj = NASTY. But it's a happy memory, so I did it to our milk and told the kids that leprechauns must have snuck in while we were at recess and changed the color of our milk. They loved it. I'm considering calling the dairy people and letting them in on this, because they drank about 3x as much milk as they normally do. "More leprechaun milk, please!"

I didn't do any day drinking over the weekend. Why, you ask? Because I was too busy BUYING A FREAKING CONDO!!!!!!!!!! I didn't want to jinx it until the inspection, which was today and it was awesome. I'm much more relaxed now than I've been in the last week because things are sort of out of my hands for the next few days plus I have a month before I move (exactly one month from today!) and I have my spring break in there to pack and get shit together. So anyway, I'm going to have a guest room if anyone wants to come visit my new 'hood- Lincoln Square. It's awesome, I promise.

Sooooo...what's new out there? I have nothing else interesting to report because condos take up quite a bit of brain space. I'll check it off of this list when I'm actually moved in.

SOTD: Bad Idea by Ben Folds Five. Not because I think that any of the stuff I've been up to has been a bad idea, but this song always gets stuck in my head when I'm stressed out and running around like a crazy person making to do lists longer than my arm.

Bonus SOTD: In Between Days by Ben Folds. It's a Cure cover that I really dig and had sort of forgotten about until this moment. "Yesterday I got so old, it made me want to cry."

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The news is depressing.

I'm back! And I'm better!

But exhausted, and reading the news isn't helping. Things that are bothering me include (but are not limited to):

1. They're changing the name of the Sears Tower? WTF people who bought it? Nobody cares who you are. I will never call it that. Just shut up, because you're annoying.

2. Ryan Adams and Mandy Moore got married on Tuesday. Now, I'm not one to start rumors about Mandy Moore being pregnant, but hey kids, what's the rush?

3. Condos are hard.

SOTD: Too Many Dicks on the Dancefloor by Flight of the Conchords. Because it's awesome and the fact that they made disco ball penises puts my b-day decorations to shame and makes me green with envy.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Movie Reviews

I've been watching movies non-stop, and I have to do something besides lay here, so here are some very helpful movie reviews for you.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist: Ok, I saw this one before, but I still loved it. First of all, it has my cougar crush Michael Cera (Adorable!) and Kat Dennings being as cool as I wish I could have been. I also want the soundtrack. But it's a sweet story about a bunch of kids staying out too late when they're in high school and doing stupid kid things. In the best way. A-

Wanted: I wanted to see this one because they shot it in my 'hood awhile back. And it makes Chicago look awesome, which is always something I like. And seriously! James McAvoy's character totally lives in the house behind mine- that is so cool! Unfortunately, my ability to tell you where they are in any given scene is the only highlight of this really dumb and very violent movie. D

W.: I really liked this movie. I like things that humanize people like presidents, world leaders, anyone who has that sort of larger than life feeling. I think it tells an interesting story of someone who I won't claim to be a fan of, but who is still a human being at the end of the day. B+

The Women: If you need a so-so chick flick when you're sick, this one is not so bad. It's not great, but you won't have to think about it at all, so if you doze off in the middle, you can pretty much figure out what you've missed within about 3 seconds. If you're looking for real entertainment, I'd look elsewhere. C

Run, Fat Boy, Run: This movie is so awesome. A slacker decides to run a marathon to win the girl, with only three weeks to train. Not starring: reality. But it is SO FUNNY. I feel like I can't say much else without giving away a lot of the good stuff, but seriously, watch this movie. Especially if you've ever run anything. B+

Center Stage: Holy balls this movie is CRAPTASTIC. My roommate loves this movie, even though she admits that it's horrible. I've finally caved to watching it in my inability to sit up for more than 10 mins. at a time, and it's everything I thought it would be. Totally bad rainy day/sick day ridiculousness. Predictable, horrible acting, pretty teenagers believing they are making life and death decisions, ballet dancing, shaking up the ballet world with more interesting styles (you go girl!) has it all. Oh, and 90's Mandy Moore music, and you all know how I feel about her these days. C-

Song of the day: Too Much Time on My Hands by Styx. Seriously, if I'm not up and running tomorrow I'm going to lose my mind. Next up on my schedule? I'm going to shower. Anyone want to come share a spoon with me? I'm bored.

Saturday, March 7, 2009


You know how they have those things called flu shots? And that when you voluntarily go, "Oh hey, yeah, a flu shot. I'll get one of those so I won't get that nasty nasty flu from my germ infested students!" It seems like a pretty fool proof plan, doesn't it?

Alas, it is not a fool-proof plan. I went to the dr. yesterday convinced that I had strep, and I was all, "Ok, let's get the gagging over with so I can have some drugs and move along with my life, la di dah di dah..." And then that dr. was all, "You don't have strep, you have the flu. Go home, crawl under some blankets and clear out your Netflix queue for the next 5-7 days." Lady, to do that, I would have to be able to leave the house to go to a mailbox! I see a flaw in your plan!

Also, did you really just tell me that you can't help me? Oh, that would explain why I'm sobbing in your office. No no, that's not embarassing at all. I love reacting like a 4-year-old. (Seriously, that was weird. I didn't see it coming, all of a sudden I'm just crying and she's trying to be nice, but she obviously doesn't want to touch me so she's sitting on the other side of the office pointing to the tissue box. I am awesome.)

My super smart sister tells me that the flu shot might make this not last as long. I think she might be right as today, I feel better. My brain is back in action, but my body is not. I can type, but BB just called and I'm pretty sure the only thing he heard was the sound of me drooling and saying, "Mmm-kay." I'm only on day 2 here, and I'm already feeling a little stir crazy, which should be a good sign that I'm getting better, right?

In other news, I fell in love with a condo...we'll see how that plays out. If anyone out there is a tax expert, I have a question I need help with, so seriously, let me know.

I hope everyone else is having a much more enjoyable weekend. Call or email me and tell me fun stories, I'm already tired of movies.

SOTD: Paper Planes by M.I.A. Because I, too, fly like paper, get high like planes. Also, it's been stuck in my head for like a week. Does anyone else look at M.I.A. and see the girl in high school who was really quirky and weird, but who you sort of secretly wanted to be? Or is that just me?

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


Me:, hey. Remember a long time ago when know...I guess, asked me to be know...uhhhh...your girlfriend? yeah...I mean...I guess that's okay now...if you really want to...but you know, whatever. I don't really care or anything.

Banjo Boy: Awesome...Do I need to give you my letter jacket now?

SOTD: Girlfriend by NSYNC f/ Nelly. Gotta love the Nelly version.

PS- It's still weird, but I'm working on it.

Monday, March 2, 2009


Oh man you guys, I'm so sorry- this blog has suffered glitches galore. First, my computer has been pretty dead for a few weeks now, but I finally got a new battery (and charger) and we are back in business! Of course, I still suck and don't have pictures from my camera, but luckily the awesome Slackey Jay has provided some great pics from the big Dirty Thirty party. Know that blogs with pictures are sort of a pain in the ass, so please ignore any funky formatting.

T-rel of guest blogger status. All the way from Seattle, because I am that awesome.

The Lackeys playing Low Ballz. It was by far the best game I have ever found.
That's me! Playing my guitar for all the people at my party! Which totally counts as the public, because there were a lot of people there! (Again, I'm pretty damn fabulous.) Note the pink things you see on the wall behind me and Banjo Boy- yeah, it's a penis. More on that in a minute.

My fabulous Sky in the Pie (TM) creation by Skylar- raspberries, dark chocolate, and penis candles. Hell yeah.

Banjo Boy impressing everyone with his mad skills. It was actually pretty cool.

Alice serenading me with her trumpet the second she walked in the door. It was totally hilarious. Tiffany then got out her clarinet, but again that picture is missing for now. How cool is it to have 3 separate musical serenades? My creative friends kick ass.
So do the ones who made the penises and vaginas with construction paper- Blaire, Tedd, Skylar, Sarah, and Ali- you kick ass! Sarah flew in from Minnesota to surprise me which was SO AWESOME, but it went so fast that I feel like it doesn't count and I can't wait to go visit her this summer. The other awesome part is that in having a dirty party, my friends totally get into it. Comments while we were making our construction paper parts? "I just jizzed all over your floor." "I'm stressed about my vagina!" "Is it just me, or does my penis look really weird?"
I have to say- I think I'm going to like my 30s. The view from here has been pretty good so far.

Anyway, I've also been busy know, whatever. My bidness. But I'm back now and will be better about the blogging from here on out.
SOTD: Live Your Life by TI and Rihanna. Because I just dig it. HEEEEYYYYYYYY!