Thursday, July 31, 2008

Good day

I woke up today feeling restless and shut-in. I've been pretty good at keeping myself busy, but it was supposed to hit the 90's AGAIN today and every day in the foreseeable future and I just couldn't take it anymore.

So I went to my favorite produce joint (seriously, raspberries for 89 cents!) (Have I mentioned it's been a little slow around here?), then came home, played a little gee-tar...and then called Blaire because I was bored and I wanted to convince her to ditch work to play with me. And it worked! Except that as we both dashed out to make a movie, it started pouring rain, which was not so nice. Then we headed over to the lake and dunked our feet, then took a long bike ride, and now I'm home. I'm babysitting four separate times in the next two days. At least I'll have money! And I can even go play with Skylar tomorrow night. Cross your fingers for cute boys.

If anyone you know has a b-day coming up, I must recommend buying them Douche Cards. If for no other reason than people who produce such things should be rewarded as far as I'm concerned.

I hope you all had good days like mine, and that tomorrow and your weekend continue to be stellar.

XOXO, Rachel

Song of the day: Today by the Smashing Pumpkins. I remember wishing I could ride around all day in an ice cream truck with Billy Corgan. (Jay, I hope you dig it, too.)

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


Ladies and gentleman! Big news over here!

I have made pants!!! Yep, it's true. You see those bad boys being modeled by my fabulous self? I made them with my own two hands. They are pajama pants that I made in my sewing class. At one point, I was terrified that they were going to look like clown pants, but I totally dig them and I can't wait for it to be cold so that I can sleep in them. And one more thing I can cross off my list. Next up? I'm going to make a quilt out of all of my old t-shirts that I can't bear to throw away, but that I have no other use for. I'll post pics when I finish it. We'll see when that happens. I'm checking things off the list, kids. It feels good.
In other news, after the earthquake yesterday, I was immediately concerned for my friend Jean who lives in LA. But less than an hour later, I got this email which made me laugh so hard that it must be shared.

Yep, I'm okay. I was sitting at my desk when I felt the earthquake. At first I was like, omg, what fat person is running on our roof? But then it kept shaking for like 10 seconds, and I could hear the glasses rattling in our cabinet. But nothing fell or was damaged and everything seems fine. All in all, did not feel that strong, thank goodness.
Sure, a fat guy on the roof. That's a perfectly reasonable assumption. Jean, thanks for the laugh!
Also, happy birthday to Kristin! Because I haven't mailed her card yet, so I'm cutting corners using the blog.
I did not do any flirting with my guitar teacher (GT is his new blog name) last night, because me and Mr. Guitar were not getting along yesterday. But GT did laugh at my jokes about wanting to go all rock star and smash the crap out of it, so we'll see. I do need to pick a new song to learn though. Please send suggestions. Don't pick any hard crap.
My song of the day is Wildflowers by Tom Petty. It's in the running for the next song I'm going to learn, plus it's so pretty. PS- maybe only listen to the song without watching the video because it's a little depressing.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Blah blah blah

I had a lot of funny blog post ideas the other day, and I can't seem to remember any of them currently. Blah.

I went to another wedding this weekend. (I go to more weddings than anyone should ever have to). It was my first husband. Wait, I didn't mention my fake marriage? Yeah, he was one of my high school buddies and it was this really long running, very detailed inside joke of ours. We got divorced on Friday so that he could get married on Saturday, just shy of our 12 year anniversary. I don't think anyone thought it was as funny as we did, but I made him fake divorce papers as part of his gift and it totally cracked me up. The other funny thing was at some point, the pastor referred to him as "Godly" and I almost laughed out loud. I think I deserve some sort of medal for keeping that one down, though.

This is dull. I'm sleep deprived (my own doing) and lacking interesting things to say. I'll try again later.

Until then, go ahead and get this song stuck in your head because I always do and it makes me laugh. Just so you know? A Kiss is Not a Contract. (But it's very nice. Also, they call it a fly because it takes you up to heaven.)

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Remember when I was all pissed off at Feist and her inability to count?

Someone else agrees with me. And that someone is making her do a little community service, I say. YOU MUST UNDO SOME OF THE DAMAGE YOU HAVE DONE.

That's all.

Silly sentiments are all I have

(Sarah G, name that song.)

I got a new phone last week. This has been coming for a long time, the old one was like 4 years old, and only held a charge for like 6 hours, so it was pretty useless. But getting the new phone meant that I had to give up all of the texts and pictures that I'd kept on there. Among what I'll miss?

  • Timmy's text telling me that he was about to propose to my sister.
  • A series of drunk texts from my sister that said, "Ass" "You are NOT nice" and then "Lordisis"
  • A message from my roommate when I was having a bad night that said, "You are better than ALL of that."
  • My sister asking me if I'd taken her no hangover gene, because she seemed to have lost it.
  • My li'l bro telling me that I smelled bad.
  • A picture of Kristin sitting on a Spiderman ride at an outlet mall.
  • Tedd asking me if I wanted to have a Threesome. (Also drunk)

So what I'm saying here people, is that you need to get drunk and tell me funny things. My phone is boring. Do your part to give back to society! Or at least entertain me.

Monday, July 21, 2008


These voicemails are long (I won't deny it) but holy CRAP do they make me laugh. I'm bummed that they edited it out so that you can't call this d-bag back, because I would tell him all about all of my psychotic episodes and then see if I could convince him that HIS friends were jealous that I talked to him.

Also, this is way overdue, but I just saw another poster on the L, and HAVE to say it. Am I the only one who thought that Wall-E was about the Short Circuit robot? When I saw a preview and realized it wasn't, and that this robots name was actually Wall-E (LAME!) my brain was all What? Shut up Johnny #5 and go get me a Dr. Pepper. Seriously.
Song of the Day: Fast Car by Tracy Chapman. Because I want Sarah to come visit me, with or without the baby, and I know this song will make her want to. You know you want to play our little drinking game every time you hear it. :)

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Still got love for the streets

When I got back from my mountain getaway to CO and MT, it was the first time in my nearly five years in Chicago where I came home and didn't feel that rush of love for the city. I felt like everything was too crowded, and I couldn't spend a day outside and I started making noises about moving to Boulder or Seattle or Portland. I'd still have access to the big city things I liked, but I could be in a quieter place. With mountains to play on! In Boulder, I'd even have my sister to play with, and I wouldn't always be so stinkin' far away from all of my siblings. I wouldn't have to deal with rush hour trains or Cubs crowds making me not want to leave the house. I started thinking that for all of the big city things that I claim to love, I wasn't doing any of them. I remembered that part of why I moved here was because I wanted to work in the music industry, and that definitely no longer stands. I talked to some people about it, and owned up to the fact that it could just be post-vacation blues, but that I was really thinking about leaving. In all of that, I finally realized that I'd have to start over not just with a job, housing, etc, but with all new friends. And I have already done that so many times in my life. So I started to back away from it, thinking, "Eh, I guess it's not so bad. At least I have people to play with." Which is not a ringing endorsement. But then there are other things- I can decide on the spur of the moment to spend a week in WI with my mom. I can jet up to Milwaukee for a concert and see people who have known me forever and they love me, too. It's not just people to play with, it's people I genuinely like and enjoy sharing my life with. The kind of people I see in my life for years and years to come.

And then this morning- I went to see The Dark Knight at the Imax Theatre. At 6 am. That is not a typo. I thought Blaire was kidding when she asked me about going. When my alarm went off at 5, I thought, "This is a really dumb idea." But then I jumped on my bike, and took a ride down the lakefront and watched the sunrise over Lake Michigan (to get to the theatre.) It was beautiful, and quiet...and hilarious to see people doing some serious walks of shame. I liked the movie. I usually don't get that into the ones with all of the crazy hype, and I think maybe it was a little too built up for me, but I did like it. What I liked best though was the fact that it was mainly shot here in my beautiful city, and I think we did Gotham proud. And I realized that for all my nuttiness, this is my home now. I love it. I guess I won't be going anywhere anytime soon. (I'm not staying because it was in a movie, but seeing it in the movie made me proud. That makes sense, right?)

For today's song of the day, I'm going to go totally sissified. We're going with "Home" by Michael Buble.

Also, I realize that this has not been very funny lately. I'll try to do something drunk and ridiculous soon...or maybe try speed dating. You know that'll be funny.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

A funny, funny riddle

In general, I don't describe myself as a farm girl unless I'm trying to convince somebody that I'm not a wuss (even if I totally am) or when I'm trying to make a point about coming from a small town. We had animals and all of that when I was little, but I didn't help much because I was too little, and then we moved away for a long time. We didn't sell the farm because it's been in my family for generations, and I like having it here even if I don't ever plan on living here again. It has always been home. In some ways, I think I am very much a city girl. But not one of the wussy ones. They drive me nuts. But every once in awhile, I look at things when I get home and have to laugh.

My storage space? It's the barn on my parent's farm. And after I cleaned it out, I piled all of the stuff I was getting rid of into my dad's old pick up and drove it into town to donate it. That's right, I said I had to drive it into town. Because we're that remote. I had "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" going through my head the entire time.

I think the song of the day is obvious.

Monday, July 14, 2008


People, try to contain yourself, because this is BIG NEWS. I have accomplished #26 on my list of things to do! Go ahead, take a second to scroll down....

You done?

Ok, great. Now you know that I'm a big fat liar. I cleaned out my crap in storage. Woo-hoo!!! That's exciting!!! No, it's not. The funny part is that I've been putting it off for years thinking it would take me days and days and it took 1.5 hours. I'm at my folks place until Wed, and that was my only real plan for my time here. Awesome.

At the same time, it was interesting to see all of the crap that I kept. I spent the weekend with Jenn and Zack at Z's parent's place up north. It was awesome- they are right on a lake and they have two boats, and a lot of great food, and a lot of booze, and there were fireworks and campfires, was awesome. What was I talking about again?

Oh yeah, J&Z were celebrating their 6th wedding anniversary (Happy Anniversary, guys!) so there was a lot of reminiscing. I was their maid of honor, since I gave them that final push they needed to actually start dating back in...'99? (True story. Seriously, ask Jenn if you don't believe me.). Anyway, so there was a lot of talking about the way things used to be, back when I lived in Milwaukee. It was 5 years ago, and it some ways it seems like yesterday, and in others, it feels like another lifetime. So to spend the weekend looking back, then going into the stuff that I packed up 5 years's all crazy nostalgic up in my brain. But also, I remembered that I keep a lot of crap for no reason at all. Seriously, I have three boxes full of papers and books from college. I am throwing that shit OUT. I also found some stuff from the ex-boyfriend that I'd forgotten existed. I threw most of it out, but what surprised me is how schmoopy a lot of it was...I don't remember those parts at all. But I guess it's good to know that at some point, I had that in me, and that it could happen again if I ever stop meeting nutjobs. (Dear fate, please stop sending me nutjobs. I just want one nice boy. If he has a lake place and a boat, you get bonus points. XOXO, Rachel.)

Anyway, rock on- I'm accomplishing stuff!

Song of the day: Throw It All Away by Toad the Wet Sprocket. "Help me to empty out this house/ What I've gathered all these days/ And thought I couldn't do without/ And throw it all away"

PS- Congrats to Sarah G who is now officially a triathelete!! A mere 7 months after giving birth. Seriously, she kicks ass.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Officially old

I was on the train yesterday, reading the Red Eye, and they listed the top 10 songs in Chicago. And I didn't know ANY of them. Seriously. It's a sad, sad day.

Also, I went to visit my friend Emma in Aurora yesterday. Every time I've been out there, I hear Wayne Campbell saying, "I live in Aurora, Illinois. I have an extensive collection of hairnets and nametags..."

Again, officially old.

In honor of my old ass, a little Wayne's World clip. I think we'll go with a little Bohemian Rhapsody?

I'm headed up nort' for the weekend with my friend Jenn. Oh man! More time on a lake? My life is HARD.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Debate

So, here's the story on the cute guitar teacher...or more accurately, I'm trying to work out the story on the cute guitar teacher.

When I got there last night, there was a pair of girl's shoes by the door. (Boo)
Then at some point, he mentioned roommates. I have not seen anyone else. Which is good, because I totally suck and it's bad enough that I'm playing poorly for him.
Then he tells me he's moving. Yay!
And he'll be about 3-4 blocks from me. Yay!
On the way home, I start thinking about the fact that his new place is in Boystown.

So he may or may not a) have a girlfriend and b) be gay. My roommate thinks I'm ridiculous. She's probably right.

TR2.0 (from Montana) called AGAIN last night, but didn't leave a message, and sent a text today that just says "Hi". Seriously, I have no idea what he thinks is going to happen here, but how many times can you NOT get a return call and still think this is a possibility?

Also, I had lunch with my old co-workers today, and someone needs to check the temperature down in hell, because one of my old bosses is engaged. Seriously, I never thought I'd see the day. I actually dropped something when he told me. I thought he was kidding.

Song of the day is "I Didn't Mean to Turn You On" by Robert Palmer. Again, for TR2.0- "You read me wrong, I didn't mean to turn you on....I told you twice, I was only tryin' to be nice..."

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Get Smart

Get Smart and go see that movie. I think critics were hard on it, but I laughed my ass off. Also, I remembered that I want to be a badass secret agent that looks all hot in a dress right before I kick you in the head with my high heels. Then you'll be sorry. But seriously, it's hilarious.

Then Blaire and I found ourselves in a different theatre, and I also saw Iron Man. (Gee, I don't know how that happened.) That movie was also better than I expected it to be, but Robert Downey Jr. is awesome.

You're never going to believe what happened today. Remember TR2.0? The horrendous Mantana date? He called me today. He wants to talk to me about the rest of my trip. I'm HELL no. WTF?

Nothing too exciting to report. I've been playing my guitar a lot, and my fingers are killing. It's pretty cool. I have no idea what we're doing tonight for my lesson, but it turns out my guitar teacher is cute, so we'll see where that goes.

Hm, song of the day...Summer in the City by the Lovin' Spoonful. It's damn hot out there today. Seriously, it's gross.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Workin' on it

After yesterday's early afternoon "What am I supposed to DO with all of this time?" meltdown, I found some things to do. I worked on the guitar thing...and realized that I have no idea what I'm doing or the slightest idea how to teach myself, nor the discipline. So I found someone to teach me on Craigslist who doesn't charge and arm and a leg, and that starts tonight.

I also found a place to learn to sew (thanks, Trel), but I need to find a day that they're having a class that I have open. That's tomorrow's project.

And THEN, I should have had this on my list, but I tried Bikram yoga. It's the one where they keep the room at 105 degrees and 50-60% humidity. It's not quite as intense as a sauna, but it's HOT. I'm so not flexible, and I suck at yoga, but it was a good thing to do, and I'll go back. I liked how I felt when I was done. And then I came home and slept like the dead after drinking approximately a gallon of water. One class was $15, but I could buy a 30 day pass for $29, so I went for it. So that killed a few hours.

Right now I'm watching Ellen, because the previews said something about Jake Gyllenhaal taking his pants off. That's what I'm talking about.

Speaking of losing your pants, I should tell some more Mantana stories.

First, I went to a wedding with Marisa. She was a bridesmaid, so I went to the wedding with her friend Aneta. We were all, "This looks a little tame." It was small, and there were slim pickin's for single dudes. So we get to the reception, and we accidentally sat next to deaf uncle who told us a lot of scary stories about car accidents that he's been in. Seriously. Anyway, we're taking advantage of the free wine, and the band starts up and I make friends with the gay dudes who wanted to take me to Seattle with them, and then I start dancing with all the dudes there. I'm wearing a dress of Marisa's that has two layers- a solid bottom one, and a top one that has these little cutouts in it. So I'm dancing with this dude, and he spins me around and one of the buttons on his suit jacket gets caught on one of the cutouts and it rips. But only in the top layer, so I have a back flap over my ass, like in the old timey pj's with the patch you could unbutton to pee? Anyway, I'm laughing, it's funny, Marisa's not mad, so it's cool. Give me another glass of wine! It gets later and later, and my gay boyfriend is looking at my backflap and he's like, "You know, I think I could fix that. Will you let me? It'll be awesome, like Project Runway." I figured, why not? So I'm standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by about 100 people I didn't know until a few hours earlier, and suddenly I hear this huge RRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPP! And there it is. My bare ass exposed. To the entire room. And I just started laughing hysterically and trying to cover myself, and he's trying to fix it and telling me he doesn't know what happened and it takes me like 5 mins. to pull myself together enough to see the groomsman's jacket sitting on a chair next to me that I could tie around my waist. Marisa had a spare sundress in her car, which I changed into even though it was so long it was dragging around on the ground. But yeah. I was the crazy city girl who showed up at the wedding and had to make it trashy by flashing my ass.

Then the next day, I was only slightly out of it, when Aneta walks into Marisa's house with a Busch Light in her hand at 10:30 am and told me to get changed because their friend Chip was taking us out on his boat for the day. So I spent a day on a boat drinking beer (I hadn't had Busch Light since college) and then we stopped for fried chicken on the way home. Then I went straight to bed because I felt like ass, but it was a good day, and a good trip.

Ok, Jake Gyllenhaal did not take off his pants. Lame. I feel like I've been lied to.

Anyway, my friend Emma sent me an email today talking about how grateful she is for the things in her life, and I realized that I am very grateful for this time off to rediscover some hobbies and learn some things I've always wanted to learn. And to figure out a few other things- I'm trying to decide what I want my life to be and where I want it to be. But that's a whole other post. For now?

Song of the day: Feel Good Inc by Gorillaz. Because it makes me dance every time I hear it.