Wednesday, December 31, 2008


I decided to scrap the idea of doing some cheesy 2008 retrospective until after it's really over. There are a few hours left for the shit to really hit the fan, so let's give it a shot, shall we? Instead, I'm sharing with you a few snippets of conversations I've had over the last few days that have cracked me up.

Upon receiving a DVD of conversations had on Leap Day 2008: (aka the BEST PRESENT EVER)

"That's the end of my bid for the presidency."

On NYE plans:

Frank: All of my friends are in their 30s now and they're lame. Apparently, when you hit 30 you start to suck. I'm totally depressed.

Me: You are SO not invited to my birthday party, asshole.

On Meryn's new shirt:

Me: Wow. Your boobs look really good in that shirt, but it's a tease because I can't actually see anything.

Meryn's boyfriend: Wait until she ties her shoes.

On checking my email:

Someone: I sent you an email with a little attachment.

Me: If it's a picture of your penis, I'm gonna be pissed.

Someone: *silence*

Someone: I guess you'll just have to see, won't you?

Only a few more days of break! Boo! I want it to last forever...

Anyway, everyone have fun tonight and don't let the hype or alcohol convince you to do something you'll regret later. Happy New Year!



SOTD: The New Year by Death Cab for Cutie. I think it's pretty obvious why.

PS- it was not a picture of his penis. My sister probably just had a stroke.

Monday, December 29, 2008

A few Christmas pics

Well hello everyone! I'm back! Did you miss me?

I know in the past I haven't wanted to post pics of my nieces and nephews, but these are so cute (thanks to my sister-in-law's new camera- she took AMAZING pictures) that I can't myself.

I call this one "All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth." My brother was calling them vampires, which cracked me up.
The boys, waiting to be told they could open their presents. The suspense was killing them. Also, all of my college friends who had to look at the baby pictures of my very first nephew? Yeah, that's him on the right. He's 9 now, and in 4th grade. We're sort of old.
I realize that I need to flip this one, but I already loaded it, so f it. This is an early shot of how much food was there. There is a ton more coming, and a whole separate section of real food you can't see. This is mostly the dessert table. I offer this as justification for the size of my ass.
It was awesome to be home with the fam- it flew by, and I've been back in Chi-town for a few days now and it's just been too insane for me to even collect my thoughts. But there's a lot going on. I'll be back with something New Year's themed in the next day or so. Just because I can.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Happy Holidays Everybody!

This was a big, busy week. But guess who's on BREAK! Can I get a HELL FUCKING YEAH?!?!?!

Also, one of my favorite terms? Thundersnow! It's so dramatic.

I thought we would get a snow day today, but it was not to be. In the end, I was really glad to have gotten to spend a great day with my kids, but it was a busy one and I am sooo tired.

I'm headed for the homestead tomorrow (and please travel gods- let everyone get home safely and in a timely manner!) so blogging will fall by the wayside. I'll be too busy stuffing my face, playing with my awesome nieces and nephews, mocking my siblings, and being a lazy sack of boring. It's going to be so great. Everyone be safe if you're travelling, and enjoy this time!



SOTD: Happy Holidays by Andy Williams. It makes me happy. I can't wait to go home tomorrow.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Happy Monday!

I'm blogging from rest time, with a bunch of squirrel-y kids, but this is too good not to share. Someone is throwing shoes at Bush's head! It made my day. (I don't have sound on my work computer, so I don't know how noisy it is.) It was hilarious.

No SOTD because I don't want to push my luck with the interwebs.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Attention whore

In case anyone didn't know this about me, I'm kind of an attention whore. I love it. I'm just like a little kid- PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!! I adore being adored. I have a blog so that people will tell me I'm funny. I'm a teacher so that kids have to do what I say. (Ok, that last part is not true.)

I have a post mostly written in my head about reasons why I'm rejecting a lot of the guys on match that I think is pretty funny, but I'm looking at the guys I'm talking to and I'm starting to wonder why. I keep telling people, "I can tell that this guy is soooo into me!" as a joke, but most of the time, it's true and that's why I'm going on all of these dates. Here's the problem though: someone really liking you? It really is only half the battle. The other half is finding someone that you also really like. And going out with people for your own ego is only fun once, then you realize that you're in a bad situation AGAIN. And you have to wrestle with the questions of should I go out with them again? Is the fact that he really likes me enough of a reason? And quite frankly, most of the time, it is not.

Then the guilt starts. Why do I keep doing that? Why do I feel like I owe anyone anything? This is how the dating game is played, not that I'm into playing games. It's not like I'm making any promises that I don't intend to keep, but I've been the person who is really sad when someone doesn't want to go out again and I know it sucks.

There's another guy that I've been emailing who I think falls into this category. I've just recognized this pattern, and I can't decide if I'm being ridiculous, neurotic, overly cautious, or all of the above. I just keep hoping that when I meet them in person I'll find something that I really like, and lately, that hasn't been the case. I don't know how to stop. How do I draw the line between being open-minded about new people and being an attention whore?

This whole story started out way funnier in my head. Damn Catholic guilt complex. Makes me feel bad when I didn't even DO anything.

Ok, something lighter- my work holiday party was last night, and it was a lot of fun. I drank a lot of wine, then woke up on my couch, fully dressed, covered in rice with the tv on at 4 am. That was confusing. So I just got up and went to bed. This morning when I woke up, I brushed my teeth, and I swear to you, it is the single greatest thing I had ever done. Toothbrushes are amazing. Seriously.

SOTD: White Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes. The title just fits my mood today. It's entirely possible that I am just in need of a nap.

Alternate SOTD: Mistake by Fiona Apple. It just got stuck in my head as I re-read this. I'm gonna make a mistake. I'm gonna do it on purpose. Gonna waste my time.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


Oh man! All of you political junkies who've been running on fumes since the election ended? Merry Christmas! (Happy Hanukkah, Jon Stewart!) I give you Rod. And the dude who's sticking it to him, because I'm too lazy to look for another pic where they aren't stuck together.

So all of these people are all, "Illinois is the most corrupt state in the union!" and shit, and all I'm saying is HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOO-HOOOOOO!!!! We're Number ONE! All of our governors go to JAIL. SUCK IT SARAH PALIN! You only dream of being this bad.
(True story: My roommate and I were discussing the above thoughts and she said, "Sarah Palin is going to send him one hell of a fruit basket!")
So all of you out there in the "law abiding" 49? Good luck trying to catch up with our shit. I'm waving my big foam finger right in your face.
SOTD: Totally non-topical, just stuck in my head all day. It's by O.A.R. and it's called Shattered, but I always think it's called Turn the Car Around. No wait! It's totally topical when I get the title right- this one goes out to Rod's career. (I really just think it's funny calling him Rod. Do you see that hair? What a tool!)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Oh poop.

I sent this tale to my sister earlier today, and she told me that it was my best teaching story yet. So enjoy...

I was waiting for a kid to wrap it up in the bathroom today, when he keeps saying he needs help. I asked him what he needed help with, and he said he had to show me something.

I'm no sucker, so I asked what it was, and he said, "I want you to see that my poop is shaped like the number 7."

I told him I'd take his word for it, and he needed to come out. When he came out he said, "That was SO MUCH POOP. I can't believe it all went down when I flushed."

I didn't even try to keep a straight face.

SOTD: Shitsong by Kate Nash. This youtube was hard to find. Ridiculous.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Rock this bitch.

So, Turkey Day was good, fam is good, playdate with Tricia was hilarious, blah blah blah.

I don't really have anything to post but this SOTD. And since I will never be able to post anything here where the title is relevant (I have family members who look at this thing), the only reason I'm putting this up is because this song makes me jump up and down doing air guitar on my couch.

Sex On Fire by Kings of Leon.

PS- for those of you (Marisa and maybe Sarah G) who like to start rumors, this seriously is not indicative at all of my love life. I just f'n love this song. Like listening to it on the iPod on repeat the whole way to work love it. I should probably stop, because I'm getting funny looks on the bus.

PPS- What's up with all the chicken in this video? Things this song does not make me think of? Chicken.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy turkey day, everyone. I'm headed home to stuff myself into oblivion, and my holiday wishes are for you to do the same. But hands off my cheesy potatoes, bitches.


Sunday, November 23, 2008


This should help anyone who's having some Monday morning workin' blues. Because if you're working, you're probably in better shape than this guy.

SOTD: Bills, Bills, Bills by Destiny's Child. With the original chicks that Beyonce screwed over later.

Friday, November 21, 2008


I'm A BIT DRUNK and for a second I couldn't turn off the caps. Funny, right?

But blog readers, get THIS: I was totally just hit on by the biggest douche EVER. I'm all out eatin' dinner with Shaynea, and then we decide that a few bottles of wine are a good idea in public, and then these dudes pull their table up to ours with some phenomenal guac, and I'm nothing if not a sucker for guac, and then the next thing I know, dude sitting next to me is all, "I think you're awesome* but can I be honest with you? I totally want to take you home tonight, but my gf is having my baby in 3 weeks and then I'm going to have a baby boy."

And I'm all scooting 10 feet away and saying, "I think it sounds like you have a lot on your plate" and trying to escape and he's all, "But I'm super attracted to you**!" and I'm like, "Dude, I think you have issues."

For real universe? This is what you're giving me? Are you trying to turn me into a cat lady?

SOTD: Baby Mama by Three 6 Mafia. For reals, WTF?!??!?!?! Universe, I just don't understand waht you're trying to tell me.

*I swear I'm not conceited, this is what he said to stroke my ego, I did nothing to provoke it.

** At this point, his flattery (while GREAT for the ego) was super creepy and I was running away and siccing him on Shaynea who was a phenomenal wingwoman.

And I may or may not delete this later, but I could not f'n believe this evening. Gross.

UPDATE: I just came back to this, considering deleting it, but you know what? I'm a funny rambly drunk, and everything you see here is true so whatever. I mean, it's morning now and I mostly feel sorry for this guy who is obviously a mess, but that will not stop the mockery!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

It's Always Sunny

"I am going to slap your face off your face!"

SOTD: Day Man. This show rocks my world.

(There will be new and 1000x more awesome clips of this on the interwebs tomorrow, but my tribute could not wait.)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

It's a fine art.

My kids were 100% batshit insane today. I could not wait to come home, and I've already over-consumed on the Nutella in dealing with it. (Healthy, right? Help me ignore the bottle of wine in the fridge. Geez, stop talking about it, that is SO not helping!), what was I saying?

OH YEAH! The highlight of today, was that I am totally leaving my mark on these kids and how they deal with people. How do I know? See the following conversation.

Me: Ok, Mr. O, you can get up from your nap now and we'll head outside for recess.

Kid: But, I don't even LIKE recess.

Me: What?! Are you kidding me?!

Kid: HA! I tricked you! I can't believe you fell for that! You're so silly.

I have passed on sarcasm and mockery, and it only took 3 months. I am the Best. Teacher. Ever.

SOTD: Don't You Evah by Spoon. First, I like that they spell it "evah". It's fabulous. Also, I like that it starts with an argument with their producer because he can't work the machine. (You have to listen really closely to understand them.) Finally, because I said something along those lines more times today than I care to count. "We do not EVER throw toys in school...etc, etc, etc."

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Sunday catch up

You know how in college you had to call your mom every Sunday night to check in? That's what I feel like I'm doing in this blog post. It might be dull, but just some stuff on my mind.

First things first, I finally feel better! It's been a looooooong road with a lot of sniffling and misery, and you get to the point where you don't even realize how bad you felt until you realize how much better you feel.

It's snowing, and I was out walking around running errands and it didn't piss me off. It was actually really pretty. But that's IT. Don't make me regret telling you that, sky!

I'm debating going on another match break, because as fun as the last week has been, it's been disappointing and it starts to get harder to bounce back. We'll see.

I have to get through this week, and then I have the ENTIRE WEEK of Thanksgiving off. I haven't had a day off where I wasn't sick or at a funeral since Labor Day, and while I realize that's probably true of most corporate gigs, this is WAY harder. I'd heard that rumor, but I was never sure if I believed it for real, but believe me- I do now.

The Barnes and Noble closest to my house is closing, and that is going to make my life harder BUT I just made out like a bandit on Thank you notes and Christmas cards. I may even send them out before February this year, how awesome would that be?

I never did say much about the election, but I don't think it's a secret that I'm pretty psyched. And as much as I got a little sick of it, and I was ready for it to be over, I think I'm suffering from a little bit of withdrawal. I'm in the middle of a really long but FASCINATING (and week old) Newsweek article about all of the big players in the whole campaign. I highly recommend it.

Today is Sarah's 30th birthday. I didn't get to go celebrate with her because airlines are mean and make plane tickets too expensive. And I've been basically phoning in everything in my life, so she's not getting a card yet, but she will get a SOTD!

SOTD: Gloria by Laura Branigan. We used to lay on the floor of our dorm rooms freshman year in MN and sing this song at the top of our lungs. Our neighbors LOVED that. But even though we only lived in the same place for 9 months of our lives, she is still one of the people in this world who I can call anytime I want and know that she knows me. She will call me out when I'm being ridiculous, she will make me laugh when I'm sad, and she will always laugh at me in the good way. She's amazing, and I hope she's enjoying her big b-day. I used to call her The Bitch, but she's totally mellowed out in the last few years, so I just want to say: Sarah, don't forget: You don't have to answer! Leave 'em hanging on the line!

Saturday, November 15, 2008


Asian Dr?

No. Just no.

And the worst part is that in the back of my mind? I knew better. But it was all so good for my ego and I thought it was so funny. That guy is so never going to hear from me again. Which probably makes him sad, but oh well.

SOTD: Never Gonna Get It by En Vogue. He was watching me eat! It was horrible!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Entertainment attempt

I referenced shenanigans in the last post, and now I'm thinking it's funny enough to talk about now that I'm this far in:

I'm going on 3 first dates within a one week period. I'm two dates in, Meh. Whatever. The first one was good, and I think I'll go out with him again, just to see. We talked yesterday, but he was totally on to the fact that I was still sick, so I don't know if he's questioning it or what. I may or may not have been less than charming and totally full of snot when I met that guy, who we will call E, because I don't have anything nickname-worthy on him, and that is his intial.

Remember that I'm the girl who can go like 3 years at a time without a date, so this is ridiculous for me. It's 100% because I stopped caring what any of these match dudes think of me, and now they are all up in my bidness.

The second date...I was calling him DP all day as in "Douchebag Potential".

I guess he's not a douche. I think he's shy, but not that interesting. But he was like, "That was a good time, and I'll see you again soon" at the end of it, so we'll see. But I could care less. So, that means I'll probably hear from him and go out again even if my inner monologue is all, "Probably not a great idea."

Tomorrow I'm meeting an Asian Dr., which is hilarious if you know Asian stereotypes. As my lovely friend Jean said, "My parents will be so jealous!" He went ahead and bumped up drinks to dinner, so he's obviously totally in to me.

I can't think of any songs about serial dating, except this one. And when it's stuck in your head, I sincerely apologize, and I am accepting better suggestions in the comments section. Do what you need to.

Mambo #5- Lou Bega. If only I could actually name these people online, but that is SOOOO wrong at this stage of the game. So it's the best I could come up with. Wish me luck tomorrow!

Also, there is a Gilmore Girls clip about being a casual dater out there that I wish I wasn't too lazy to find, because it's been running through my head for days.

PS- tonight totally counts at #9. I would not have normally gone out with this guy, but it's called keeping an open mind...leaving no stone unturned, etc. etc.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Living legacy

Ashley was thinking about giving me crap for not posting much (like she's so great about it), but I've been busy with the sickness or funerals.

I stayed home from work again today. I think my body was just like, "Look, you're exhausted and you're not going to get any better if you don't sleep..." so it made sleeping all day today a non-negotiable issue.

But let me just say this: Saying goodbye to my grandpa was very hard, but very beautiful. I almost put on makeup the morning of the funeral- something I rarely do- but then I looked in the mirror and thought, "Really, you big cry baby? You think you're going to make it?" And that was a wise decision. Buying stock in Kleenex last week would have been a wise move. I'm actually surprised that I didn't hear financial analysts talking about it.

SOTD is sappy today.

Leader of the Band by Dan Fogelberg. My cousin Shaughn reworked the lyrics of this song as a tribute at the funeral, and I'm pretty sure there was not a dry eye in the house when he finished. I was sitting right in front of him, and I have no idea how he made it through. But looking around the church that day, I couldn't think of a more fitting tribute than a song that says that we are nothing but his living legacy. Sheer numbers alone would be impressive (11 kids, 35 grandkids, 19 great-grandkids but that will probably shoot up to 20 by the end of this week), but everyone within that group is also amazing. Well done, Grandpa. Well done.

I'll try to get back to smart-assery and shenanigans soon. This weekend is showing some promise on that end.



Thursday, November 6, 2008


I'm sick. And I've been sick since Tuesday, when I slept through history being made. More on that when I can create coherent thoughts without the interference of snot in my brain. Being sick sucks ass.

Really, this is a plea: I've been home all day, and there are no cookies in my house. Please send cookies.

That is all.

SOTD: I don't even care. Find something fun for yourself. I'm sick and cranky because there are no cookies.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

My grandpa

My grandpa passed away today. And that makes me sad for me, and for his kids (like my dad) who are having to deal with that loss. But really, all I can think about is how much he has told everyone that he just wanted to go be with my grandma. And I don't know how long it takes to get past that whole St. Peter/gates of heaven thing? But I've got to believe that they are hanging out right now and they are thrilled to see each other. My grandma's had her hands full being guardian angel to all of their kids and grandkids and great-grandkids, and I bet she's glad to have a hand with all of that.

I had a dream last week that I was at their house, and I saw her wandering around and I knew that it was a ghost, so I asked her why she was there. She told me that she was just checking up on everyone, and that I was just fine. Now, I'm thinking she was just coming to get grandpa. But obviously, you can't go around telling kids that, even in their dreams. That's creepy.

Anyway, I hope this doesn't come off as callous, or like I don't care. That is not the case. But it is the way I am choosing to see it.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Um, what?

Did anyone else realize that it's totally November right now? WTF? Where have I been? Time for bed, yo. I just did not see that coming.

SOTD: November Rain by GnR. Supposedly, we're finally going to get a new cd from them. I'll believe it when I see it.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


Big fat congrats to Jenn and Zack who have a baby girl! I can't wait to meet Ms. Layla Mae.

SOTD: Baby Mine by Alison Krauss. (Also, HIMYM fans, the video says "Canada Day". What up Robin Sparkles!)

Monday, October 27, 2008

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

I saw this movie yesterday, and OH MY GOD. High school me would have been OBSESSED with this movie. It's got all kinds of awesome music and stuff, and Michael Cera. And I love that kid, if only he didn't make me feel like a cougar...

So yeah. Go see it now that it's cold and shitty and stuff outside.



SOTD is from the soundtrack- Baby, You're My Light by Richard Hawley.

PS- I don't know if this is getting the kind of national coverage that it is here, but if I were Jennifer Hudson, I'm not sure I'd ever be able to get out of bed again. Or survive. Go hug your loved ones.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

#17- "Ok is better than No Way"

I had a match date last night, and I'm going to go ahead and claim that I've accomplished #17 on the list and had a blind date. Since my waitress was asking me if it was a blind date when he went to the bathroom, it totally counts.

And like I told a lot of people, it was okay. And my very wise sister said, "Ok is better than no way." He was very nice, and he was funny and he laughed at my jokes. He also looked exactly like his picture, which is nice. I've totally been a victim of the bait and switch before, so he totally earns points for that.

And we'll see. It could go either way, and that's fine. And that's all I'm going to say about it, because it feels weird to be talking about it, but I realized I haven't crossed anything off of my list in awhile.

What should I do next? Does anyone have a stick shift car they can bring to Chicago and teach me to drive it?

SOTD: First Date by Blink-182. Because it makes me laugh and it's close to being topical-ish.

Thursday, October 23, 2008


Dear Douche Bag who thought it was necessary to email me two weeks after our last interaction on match to tell me that you weren't interested,

Really? You should probably take a second to get over yourself. I will now spend the next 30 seconds mocking your sorry ass in my brain ...and, I'm done.



Also, I've been having dreams about going on dates with jerks all week. Last night it was a guy who forgot to take off his wedding ring. The night before, the dude had the nastiest teeth I've ever seen. I think my brain is reminding me to hold on to my rule of low expectations. (For those of you who don't know, the rule is that if you go in with low expectations, it's hard to be disappointed. Also, you may have noticed how long I've been single.)

SOTD: Dickhead by Kate Nash. Two other links: When I typed dickhead into the you tube search, this popped up and it makes me happy. Also, this website Reasons Why I Dumped You cracks me up. Over eager penis pic emailer is my favorite.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Overheard at recess...

Yesterday, it decided to rain for the 20 mins. in the afternoon when I have recess, so as soon as we got to the playground, we had to turn that train around.

Me: Rain, rain, go away. Come again some other day.

O (my little 4-year-old friend): Ms. K, that doesn't make any sense at all.

Me: Why is that?

O: I hate the rain. It ruins everything. I say rain, rain, stay gone forever.

Me: Point taken, Mr. O.

I just really like his logic. Rain is a bummer.

SOTD: Ok, so my big sister gets two b-day SOTD's because she's awesome. (And I didn't send her anything yet, even though I gave her husband an STD for his b-day...I sometimes suck as a sister.) So, like I said, I was at a wedding this weekend and with all the travel, I made myself a few new playlists on the ol' iPod, and I found this song that I'd forgotten about. The first time I heard it, I immediately thought of Sarah and Tim...don't know if it's the line about a life less sedentary or the toddler with a complex toy, but it sort of makes me think of their schmoopy love story. I see how happy they are, and it makes me happy. And reminds me to keep my standards high. So here it is- A Life Less Ordinary by Carbon Leaf. Go get schmoopy with it. Happy b-day again, Sarah.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

NC Wedding

I was in North Carolina this weekend for my cousin Erin's wedding. See how pretty she is?

After the outdoor wedding, instead of going inside to the reception, we were treated to a bluegrass band and appetizers in a tent with heating lamps so that we could appreciate the scenery. That I forgot to take pictures of. Why did I forget to take pictures? Oh, that's because there was also a bar in there and since it was cold, all of my relatives were drinking to stay warm. So I was too busy taking pictures like this:

Beautiful, ladies. Beautiful. (Tricia, you are welcome.)

These are my cousins at the end of the night. We were dancing pretty much the entire time, so we'd had to lose our shoes (obviously) and this is what our feet looked like. It was pretty nasty.

And now, a quick quiz: Which of the following did NOT happen while I was there?

a) I had a cab driver I could barely understand.
b) I was asked if I was married to my cousin.
c) I immediately threw up all over myself.
d) I had to ask if that was gravy in that pan.

Think it over.

SOTD is in honor of my sister's birthday yesterday. Happy birthday, Sarah! It's a little Neil Diamond- I am, I said. Because the song kills me, and she will be seeing the man in person very soon, and that is a big deal.

(The answer is c. B happened. Not in those exact terms, but it still totally happened in NC. Rednecks.)

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Slow news day.

I've been trying to think of something to blog about, and I've got nothing. I got a hair cut today. I dig it, but it's not that much shorter.

As you were.

I'll be in NC for a wedding this weekend. I hear it's gorgeous, so there should be some great foliage shots when I get back. Try to contain yourself.

SOTD: Don't Be Cruel by Bobby Brown because I heard it while I was out and about today, and it cracked me up. Don't be cruel, 'cuz I would never be that cruel to you. Try to stick it out until he raps.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

School picture day

Today was school picture day. All of my kids came in dressed up and extra adorable and crazy as shit. (Is it a full moon? They were out of control.) But seriously, I thought my heart was going to explode.

I'll be watching the debates solo tonight, which is unfortunate. If I still play a drinking game, does that make me a drunk?

SOTD: Pictures of You by The Cure. Seriously, if I could ethically post the group picture I took today, I totally would. They are crazy cute.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Running down a dream

Today was the Chicago Marathon, and it is HOT out there. I went down super early like I always do and stand on my street and clap and cheer until my arms want to fall off and I'm on the verge of losing my voice. Because it's worth it. Because when I ran three years ago, it's the closest I've ever come to feeling like a rock star, or like people were supporting me while I was doing something hard even when they didn't know me. It's the most amazing feeling, and I hope people are feeling that today, even on this too hot to run kind of day.

Once upon a time, I was one of you. And at that time, I knew what it was like to have the best cheerleaders in the world (seriously, everyone who was near me was insanely jealous) and I knew that everyone was pulling for me. And I knew that we all had fun laughing at me when everyone came over afterwards and my feet were huge and I couldn't even sit upright to eat. It was totally worth it. I'll probably never do it again, but it was something I had to do and I'm so glad I did.

Hope this wasn't a rambling mess. Go runners!

SOTD: Running Down a Dream by Tom Petty. Because it is a dream. I crossed the finish line in tears and yelled to my brother, "Hey Tom! I'm a badass!" Happy Sunday everyone.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Real Men of Genius

Thanks to Timmy for sending me this. Those geniuses over at Google found a way to test people after a certain time of day when they are sending emails that could mean that they are drunk. It's like an email breathalyzer. Where was this when I was in college? Now what I need is something to stop me from texting drunk. THEN, I will be GOLDEN. Now it's too much trouble to turn on my computer.

Match is a little bit nutty. There's a guy emailing me who's way more aggressive than I can deal with and it's making me nervous. I can't decide if I'm flattered or totally weirded out.

Let's have today's SOTD be a drinkin' about some old school Tubthumping by Chumbawumba. Yeah. Good luck not getting THAT stuck in your head.

(Political PS: Dear Sarah Palin, Call Obama a terrorist again, and see if I don't punch you right in your stupid face.)

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Karma I the only one who thinks the fact that OJ was convicted of a bunch of stuff THIRTEEN YEARS TO THE DAY that he was acquitted for murder could be chalked up to some nasty karma? Because that shit is messed up.
In other news, all of my bitching about Cubs madness making it too scary to go outside (true story) has been replaced by the CTA doing construction in my back yard since 6 am this morning. Yeah, it's Saturday, and it's 11:45 PM, and they are still at it. With air horns. WTF CTA?!?!?!?! Some bitches need some SLEEP, yo.
Song of the day: Karma Police by Radiohead. (Karma Police...ARREST THIS MAN! That is comedy GOLD as far as I'm concerned.) (Does this mean that I'm going to have negative karma? I'm not really wishing bad things on people. Really.)

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Bring it.

I'm all riding my bike home from work today, and there is this one stretch of Lincoln that for some reason, has a lot of people opening their doors into the bike lane. It's happened so many times that I've lost tracked of how many times I've almost been doored. And I'm always like, "SHIT! I can't afford that!" But today, I had a funny thought when the Land Rover nearly took me out- "Oh really bitch? I gots me some health insurance now, so BRING IT."

Then I remembered that I don't actually enjoy pain so I'm still glad I didn't get hit.

My SOTD goes out to Joe Biden, who I'm currently watching on tv, who just got in a line that had roomie and I cheering. SLAM! by Onyx. Seriously, Biden. Bring it home.

PS- Happy birthday to my baby brother who I hope escapes his mosquitos and malaria for margaritas. Because I like alliteration.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Figure Skating

I am officially back on match. I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on it, but it is what it is...

So anyway, here is an old match story to keep you entertained.

I met a dude who's name I don't even remember. We'll call him...Bob. (Because if I tell you the nickname I had for him, it ruins some of the punchline.) So, we did the traditional email exchange, decide to meet up thing. We were supposed to grab a drink on a Saturday night, but right as I had started getting ready, he called me to back out. Because he was horribly hungover. He was like, "I'm really sorry, but I really don't want you to see me like this and have it be your first impression... not that this is a great one." Now, we've all had our nights out that get out of hand and then woken up hating ourselves, so while I'm irritated, I still kind of get it, so I let it slide and we reschedule for the next week. I go, and we have a drink or two and the conversation is decent, and we plan on getting together again.

That night, he calls me AGAIN to bail. Because it was snowing. Lame. So I write him off because at that point, it's very "Fool me once..." You know.

Then, like 2 weeks later, I get an email from this dude that says, "Hey, want to come over tonight to watch figure skating with me?" And ok, it is the Olympics and all, but seriously? Being the mature type that I am, I immediately forward the email to my sister and we spend the rest of the day making, "Know how I know you're gay?" jokes. At as we're spinning tales of me showing up to find him in a sequined figure skating outfit, I decide I need to go to figure out what's up with this dude.

(Yeah, like this.)

I go, and he is just waking up from a nap, and he's wearing wind pants and an old t-shirt and hat. So we watched figure skating, drank some wine, and then I left. It was laaaaaaame.

I never heard from him again, and that was cool.

I told this story recently to a dude, and he was like, "How did you not see the ploy to hook up in that?" Apparently I'm that dumb.

And that is one of my stories. There are a few more, but that's one of my favorites.

Song of the day: Here It Goes Again by OK Go. Because here it goes again. Hope for more good dudes, a little less crazy.

Friday, September 26, 2008

New love

This is not a match story.

I made a new friend (that's what I call my students) at school today who apparently was only coming to see me to today and today only and it makes me sad because I LOVE him and I want to keep him. In the way where I want him to hang out in my classroom in the afternoon hours every day.

Why do I love him? Well, let me retell a little conversation we had today.

Boy: Miss Rachel, would you like to hear a hilarious joke?*

Me: My friend, I love hilarious jokes.

Boy: Why did the apple cross the pie?

Me: I don't know, why?

Boy: Because he wants to hit someone in the face with a pie.


SOTD: Upside Down by Jack Johnson. Because this song has always made me think of small children because I think it's a reasonable approximation of how they see the world. Seriously. Plus, my new friend told me it's his favorite song.

*Seriously, how many 4-year-olds would actually say "hilarious joke"? He's awesome.

Also, I don't play favorites at all in the classroom, but he just really made my afternoon. For real.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Political BS

Ok, look: I'm not here to tell anyone how to run their lives. But I watch the news, and I consider myself to be a reasonably informed citizen. But seriously? If you can watch this clip of Sarah Palin and tell me that you think she should be totally fine running our country, I want to hear it. Seriously. This woman scares the shit out of me.

Oh, but my new tag line on my new and improved match profile? "I can see Russia from my house!" That'll be made public in the next few days. Cross your fingers and wish me luck! I'll post some of those stories from the other time I did match in the coming weeks.

Also, I just discovered, and you can watch FULL EPISODES of the Daily Show and the Colbert Report when you still don't have cable at your house. And that my friends? That makes me unbelievably happy. Go check it out. Watch the Daily Show with Clinton on it. I swear to god, it's fascinating.

And, there was an accident in my classroom at school today, and every time I think about it, I can't escape the feeling that I have urine on me. Even though I washed my hands a billion times AND showered AND changed my clothes. I also discovered green paint on my knee at the end of the day, and I don't have a clue which little bugger did it. Or when...or how really because I wasn't sitting right next to them while they were painting. Teaching preschool is crazy, you guys.

SOTD: Witchy Woman - The Eagles. Peace out, Alaska.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

How I almost choked and died

At dinner with Shaynea earlier this evening:

Me: Dude, what is up with the black eye?

Shaynea: Oh don't worry, it was a softball thing. Apparently, I'm really good at taking balls to the face.

SOTD: Um...I don't even remember the exact name of this song or who sings it (college gets hazy, not my fault) but I love the fact that I could type "Baller" into you tube and come up with exactly what I wanted. Also, when this first popped up, I was skeptical, and then I started watching these jackasses and it made me laugh and made me really glad that You Tube didn't exist when I was in high school. I think the best part is the barn in the background. Yeah, these dudes are OBVIOUSLY ballers.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Three weeks

Ok, so whoever had 3 weeks in the "How long will it take for Rachel's kids to make her sick?" pool is the winner!

You can claim your prize if you're willing to drag your ass to my couch, because I ain't movin'. I feel like ass. But if you bring soup, I'll do my best to not pass on germs. Drugs are also accepted.

I know exactly which kid gave it to me, too. Little bitch.

Song of the day is probably a repeat, but it's The Sickness by Disturbed. Obviously.

Bonus song- their cover of Land of Confusion, because I like it. Really angry disturbed people covering Phil Collins? I'd like two, please. If Tool covered Against All Odds, I would totally be all over that.

PS- if you watch the Emmys tonight, watch out for my friend Jean with all of the 30 Rock kids. She's awesome.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Scenes from a school....

A few cute stories to give you an idea of what my days are like...

One little guy was running sort of sideways across the playground today and looking behind him, so I asked him what he was doing. "Watching my shadow! It follows me the WHOLE TIME!"

A little girl builds a huge lego tower and puts a lego cat at the top.

"Look! I put a kitty on top of the tower!"

"Uh oh, is the kitty going to get scared up there?"

"No, she went up there to shake her booty."

While coloring a picture...


"Um, what are you drawing over there?"

"My new vacuum! It's name is Eureka!"

About going to college....

"I don't want to go to college, I want to go to KINDERGARTEN."

"Oh. Well what will you do to get a good job?"

"I don't need a job. The tooth fairy gave me a dollar the other day."

And finally, to clear up the mysteries of that last post,

"Miss Rachel, did you know that the Cubbies had a no-hitter last night? I think that's really good."

"I think you might be right."

And I know Lackey was extra psyched about me knowing that, since he's the one who had to teach me what that was back in my sports workin' days.

Song of the day: Closer by Nine Inch Nails. I used to hate this song, and then like 7 years after it came out, it totally grew on me. Then earlier today, my roommate was giving me a massage, and I'm sick of kid's music and new age-y stuff that we listen to while they "rest", so I just went to my iTunes and picked Nina Simone thinking something mellow and jazzy would be cool. Then it ended and immediately went into this song, and the two of us burst out laughing. It's so bizarre to listen to in that context.

Monday, September 15, 2008

For the Lackeys...

So, I had a song of the day request from Jay the other day, and I was trying to figure out how to incorporate it into a post. And then, fate intervened in the form of Carlos Zambrano's pitching. Here's the thing- now that I no longer work in sports and I don't have to deal with them non-stop, the Cubs don't annoy me nearly as much anymore. It's a little bit of a traffic issue, but otherwise it's fine. So Lackeys, this is for you-

Song of the day: Whoomp! There It Is! In honor of the no hitter yesterday. Good look not getting it stuck in your head.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

My Rockin' Weekend

Oh man you guys- I had the CRAZIEST weekend. Ever.

Friday, I left work by 4:30 (the first time all week I wasn't close to hitting 6pm, even though I was showing up at 7:15 all week. Did I mention that already? I was crazy tired.) Then I came home and tried to take a nap.

Are you feeling it yet? How crazy my weekend was?

Then I went over to my friend Beth's place where we ordered food, had some wine, then I discovered Guitar Hero on the Wii. Now, I have never been good at video games. My sophomore year of college, I went home for winter break tired of being constantly defeated at Mario Kart and I played every day while I was home in an attempt to finally get good at it. It NEVER HAPPENED. I still suck at that game. But Guitar Hero? HELL. YEAH. That game is so awesome, and I was totally killing it by the end. I only got booed off stage once and it was crazy addictive and OH MY GOD, I totally want a Wii.

So I'm going to need some moral support- I do not have the money or the time to invest in something like this. If you hear me saying things like, "Maybe I should just see how much they cost," or "But if I buy the Fit, I won't have to go to the gym..." JUST SAY NO. The last thing in the world that I need to do is invite video games into my world. So please, just stop me before the madness begins.

Wait, it gets crazier.

Yesterday it rained so much the Tribune website actually said, "Rainiest. Day. Ever." When did they begin to write like bloggers? I went out to run errands for like an hour and came home drenched and cranky, so the second part of my rockin' weekend was me falling asleep on my couch at 9:30 on a Saturday night. I'd wanted to watch SNL, and I missed it. Do I know how to party or what?

Today is more rain, supposedly the remnants of Ike. I was whining about it in my head a LOT because it means I can't ride my bike, (and I LOVE my bike) but then I remembered that none of my property was actually destroyed and that the people I love are still safe so I decided to quit it. I'm trying to grow here, people. Despite the internal whiny-ness, I had a ridiculously productive day so I'm feeling quite good about my bad self. Oh man, and tomorrow? Tomorrow is my first payday. Hells yeah. The first thing I'm going to buy? Brand name groceries. Watch out! Kraft macaroni and cheese all the way.

I hope that the content of this post wasn't too much for the faint of heart who read it, and man, I hope your weekends weren't so CRAZY, yo.

And seriously, don't let me buy a Wii. Kristin and Jean, I'm looking directly at you.

Song of the day: Today Was a Good Day by Ice Cube. This goes out to my friend Laura who met Ice Cube at a party and he totally asked for (and got) her digits.

Also, if you've got some time, you should totally watch Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin. I laughed my ass off.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Chin Up, Cheer Up

Timmy told me that my last blog sounded sad...and it wasn't supposed to be. And I also took out the line about how watching the kids crash into a wall is scary, but also really funny. One of them looks like a chicken and he's flapping his wings.

I'm not sad.

I'm still building up my endurance so I'm tired as shit, but I decided that I needed up update the ol' blog. So here are some funny things from the last few days:

After finishing singing a few rounds of oh..the hokey pokey, the abc's, simple songs like that, I asked for requests. I got "Slow Ride!" and "Sweet Child o' Mine!"

I want to make a sign for my room that says, "We have gone xx days without an accident!" But I've been told parents won't think it's funny.

I saw GT last night, and the crush is just gone. Oh well. NEXT!

You know how when you're starving and you go grocery shopping you come home with a bunch of random crap that you can't really turn into a meal? Going when you're tired gets the same result. I have no idea what I cam home with. But I've been totally surviving on Goldfish that I steal from school since Monday, so it's probably an improvement on that.

This is not that funny. I'll do my best to come up with funnier content, just be patient with me.

Song of the day: Chin Up, Cheer Up by Ryan Adams.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Weird trend

When times get crazy, I tend to want to pick up books that require very little thinking on my part and just go hang out in someone else's world. I borrowed a couple of chick lit books from a friend the other day that were unbelievably sub-par. As in, I knew what was going to happen about 3 pages in and it made me angry, but I still stuck with it because it distracted me from getting worried about anything else I have going on.

But here's the weird thing: They were both about teachers who were hitting their 30th birthdays and burned out on other people's weddings. Um, does this mean I'm not the only one, or that I'm some weird sad stereotype? Because to be honest, neither really sits all that well with me. But also, they were both way bigger whiners than I am and if I was ever that bad, I hope someone would smack me around a little. (One of them wouldn't even congratulate her sister when the sister got herself knocked up. Lame.) (Does this qualify as whining? OH NO! Maybe I am that bad! Shit!)

It's been raining all day and it's making me sleepy and you know you're tired when you think about crying on the bus and you're not sure why. I walked in the door this evening, and I was all, Well hello there, couch! So good to see you. Blankets, care to get in on this action? Let's all spend a little quality time together here.

Song of the day: Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head- by BJ Thomas. I hope it's not raining tomorrow- the kids aren't the only one who could use a little recess time. I took them to run laps on our indoor track, but a few of them are lagging on their gross motor skills so they can't do things like run in a straight line and I was convinced that one of them was going to crash into the wall. It was terrifying.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Day two

Without explaining too much, I don't have all of the same kids every day in my classroom. It's all over the place. Today, I met two new friends that I don't have to see again until Friday. Thank god.

Then I met a little guy who is supposed to come tomorrow, and when I asked him about it he said, "I don't know if I'm coming. I'll have to ask my mom if I can come over." I almost fell over laughing.

On my shit list today: Weather people. If you tell me that it's going to rain so I don't ride my bike, it better rain. I put in a 10 hour day, do you really think I have a run in me? So now I've had no exercise. Bastards.

Song of the day: Days Go By by Dirty Vegas. Because the days are going so fast.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

First Day

Oh man you guys! My first day was so awesome! My kids are great, there was only one kid who was weepy, and she totally got it under control as soon as I busted out the play dough, so we were golden. I have a few kinks to work out, but I'll face that every year. But seriously, this was way easier than my student teaching.

And I came home feeling like hot shit, because I was like, "I'm not even tired! This rules!"

But then I sat down. And now I'm reminding myself that going to bed before 9 is not an option. Whatevs.

Also, over the weekend, I saw Tropic Thunder. GO SEE THIS MOVIE. I couldn't stop laughing any time Robert Downey Jr. was on screen. He killed it. The Tom Cruise cameo is a total waste of space, but there are a lot of other little things that had me nearly falling out of my seat. And don't be late, because the first five minutes are GOLD.

Song of the day: Low by Flo Rida. Because it's been stuck in my head all day. It has nothing to do with anything else. But I'm giving you the South Park version because it's way funnier.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

An overdue rant

Due to my return to work, I find myself struggling to find funny stories to post here. (But for the record, my classroom is FABULOUS and people have been coming in to hang out because it's awesome and I love it and I swear that after my meltdown on Tuesday, I'm not even stressed. And I got to meet a few of my kids, and they are so cute I can barely stand it. For real.)

So, I'm going to take the time to write out a rant about something that has been bugging the shit out of me all summer. What is that, you ask?

It's this stupid Katy Perry song- I Kissed a Girl. First of all, when people started talking about it, I thought they were talking about the Jill Sobule song of the same name. I think this song came out circa 96/97, so I was confused about the hype. But Jill Sobule kissed a girl because she was so excited about coming out with the fact that she was into chicks. Yay for you Jill! Katy Perry did it just to be an attention seeking whore. Seriously. She used to be a Christian singer, and now she's a sad one hit wonder because she's pretending to be controversial. YAWN. Sure, the tune is catchy and it gets stuck in my head, but I still hate it. It's annoying and such an obvious plea for negative attention that it makes me nuts. So if it's not too late, I would like to encourage a boycott of this crap. Stop giving her attention, you're only encouraging negative behaviors.

To get those songs out of your head, I'll give you another song from a long time ago- Stupid Girl by Garbage. Because Katy Perry is a stupid girl, and because I just saw Shirley Manson in a preview for that Terminator tv show and I think that's weird. I hope she didn't ditch out on my Madison boys for that. But if I could sing like Shirley Manson, you'd probably never be able to get me to shut up.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


I forgot to tell you guys I bought a fish! He's a betta, and I named him Bubbles the Betta Fish and took him to school where the kids will love him. Cross it off the list.

Workin' Girl

I'm officially working again. I'm tired. No kids until Tuesday. I have zero witty anecdotes, but feel bad for abandoning the blog. I even ditched GT tonight because I had too much to do and two long days ahead of me that will include meeting parents. GT was very understanding...and since I called him, now he has my digits. So every cloud has a silver lining, right?

Song of the day: Supermodel (You Better Work) by RuPaul. Because it was stuck in my head all day today.

Since this is pretty weak, I'll also give you something else to watch, something topical: Schoolhouse Rock- Nouns! I'm all language arts on your ass.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Old friends

I just got home from seeing (drinking with) some old friends from college. Apparently we're all old, because we're telling stories from the old days and realizing that they happened 10 years ago. But even though I can go forever without seeing them, they are still people that I genuinely enjoy and appreciate. Even though they're all married and doing shit like having babies while I'm living my extended adolescence of eating peanut butter and calling it dinner and choosing not to work for the sport of it. Sometimes I feel like I'm being left behind, and sometimes I just think I'm in my own orbit. Either way, I always like discovering that whatever drew me to being friends with someone a million years ago can still exist beyond everything else, and that my fundamental belief that people don't really change (in the good ways) is true. So I'm a little sentimental and boozy right now. I'm mostly talking directly to all of you who read this, so there it is.

Song of the day is for Jay, again. (Sorry, Mary.) Summer of '69 by Bryan Adams.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

"Well, that's over."

A few nights ago, I was sitting around watching some Olympics with my roomie, and we were talking about someone we hadn't met and she decided to look them up on the interwebs. (You know, places that rhyme with "Spacebook" and "Pieface".) And as we perused this person's life, it occurred to us to see if GT was into either of these things. Turns out that he is...but I couldn't see his profile. Only the part where I saw that he is only 25. I told the roomie, and she said, "Well, that's over."

I keep thinking that if he was 33, the four years wouldn't seem like that big of a deal. But I just keep thinking that we weren't even in high school at the same time, so he wouldn't get any of my pop culture references. So when I'm all, "Yeah, this song reminds me of the summer of '99, when I was drunk all the time..." he'd be all like, "Yeah...that's when I got my driver's license." It appears the roomie may have been correct.

So I went over there tonight for my lesson feeling pretty much over it, and I swear to you he LOOKED younger. I don't know if my eyes were playing tricks on me or what, but it was bizarre.

But I'm totally killing the song of the day in my lessons- I'll play it on request. Two by Ryan Adams. I'm going with the Letterman video because it's good to see him out of his scary hair and beard thing. The suit is a little weird, though. (See scary beard face here. And know that somehow, I couldn't just post only one Ryan Adams song.)

Applications for my new crush are available here.

Monday, August 18, 2008

List check = Life check

I was just looking at this list of things I have created for myself for my year of being 29 and...I really don't think I'm going to be able to cross all of these things off. But I can if I cheat. For example, I was going to train for a half marathon this summer, but just didn't feel like it. And not training was kind of fabulous. But I did do one back in '04, so can I cross it off the list? Or, I should have been more specific about dating someone I wouldn't normally date. Could TR 2.0 count, because I wouldn't normally go on a date while I was on vacation? The condo thing is a whole mess of other factors to consider so it may or may not happen. The weight loss is in progress, but not as quickly as I'd like. The nude modeling is definitely not going to happen without that. Still working on the blind date. Learning to snowboard and making it to Europe before my b-day? Probably not going to work out. The fish will happen in the next few weeks. The bridesmaid dress thing will be later- I'm thinking of having a fancy party either for the holidays or as a housewarming if I buy a condo. Or should I just donate them?

I guess since it is my list, and my plan to do all of these things, the decision is mine, right? If I cheat, does anyone really care? Will anyone be upset with me? Doubtful.

Work starts up again officially next week, even though I'm planning on spending a lot of time there this week, too...and then my summer of freedom is over. And I will be free again next summer, but I'm having trouble reminding myself that when school starts, while I will be busier, I still won't be as crazy busy as I was before. Life can have more than two speeds- I don't have to be running around 15 hours a day or not doing anything. There is a happy medium there, I just haven't seen it in awhile and I don't entirely remember how to do it. I'm sure I'll figure it out just fine, but it will be weird. People keep giving me the big "boo-hoo" when I complain about going back to work, and I get it. But it's scary and life changing and scary. I just need to be nervous to light that fire in myself to go out and do it. Once I'm in it, it will be fine, but until then, I'll sit around being nervous. Very productive.

I keep thinking about the summer I moved from Missouri to the Chicago 'burbs. We moved in June or July, but in August I went back for a visit. I remember floating around in the pool with Kristin listening to REM singing "Nightswimming" on repeat all night and thinking about the line "September's coming soon..." because I was scared of starting school then, too. Because I was a junior in high school and didn't know yet about the amazing people I was going to meet and the great things I'd get to do. If I look at it that way, I actually have a leg up. I already know a lot of people there. Twenty-nine is a long way from sixteen, and I'm much more clear on who I am and I'm working on figuring out what I want from my life. Now that I've made some real progress on the career front, I have a few more things to figure out.

This post just changed considerably as I was writing it from what I had originally intended it to be. I think I'll leave it, because it's like journaling, but a lot less private. That's the tricky thing about these interwebs, no such thing as privacy. But when I put it out there, it makes things seem a little less... lonely isn't the word. Just less like I'm on this crazy trip on my own, because I get to take you with me. I get why people can be so personal in this format, but I also get why it is important to censor yourself now and again.

Anyway, I'm getting older and still having adventures and wasn't that kind of the point of the list?

Today's obvious song of the day: Nightswimming by REM. Hope the rambling is at least coherent.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Lack of endurance

You guys? I'm exhausted. Because I woke up at 7 and went to school and went through boxes and pretended to push furniture around for...oh, I don't know, maybe 2 hours? ish?

I'm such a wimp! All this laying around and doing nothing with my time has worn me down so that I can't seem to do anything. I'm babysitting an infant later, and I'm seriously considering a nap.

But if I don't, you know what I'll do tonight? Sleep. All Night Long. (That's your song of the day, by Jay's request...I spend like 3 or 4 whole minutes coming up with a blog tie-in to that song. I work hard to entertain you guys.) (Also, when it's stuck in your head all day, blame him.)

Have great weekends! I'm headed for the homeland for a wedding shower. Basically, I'm going to eat like it's my last meal because my aunts are all phenomenal cooks, and I'm out of money so it's all ramen and frozen veggies up in here.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Oh Olympics

This is the third night in a row you have kept me up because I can't go to bed until I know for sure if any of these people got medals. Jonathan Horton is so adorable I want to throw him in my bike basket and take him out for ice cream. Seriously.

I hope that once gymnastics ends, I'll be able to settle down. But it is fascinating to see the things these people can DO. I can do a headstand if I'm propped up against a wall. The end.

Fake out song of the day- A clip from the movie "Stick It". I would LOVE to see someone pull this kind of stunt at the Olympics. Fast forward to the 3 minute marker to get to the good stuff.

Cheese curds

I woke up today in a funk for no apparent reason. After laying around doing nothing all morning, I forced myself to head down to the farmer's market in Lincoln Park.

Actual conversation that I had there:

"Hey, do you have cheese curds?"

"Yep, I just made them yesterday so they're extra squeaky...
Are you from Wisconsin?"


Mmmm, squeaky cheese and a bike ride by the lake. I feel better now.

Song of the day: Small Town by John Mellencamp. I will always be a small town/city girl hybrid.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


There are many ways to define success in this lifetime, along with many aspects of our lives where we can achieve it.

Today, I define my summer as a success because I just got to see my sister and she said, "I don't think I've ever seen you that tan. Or with a tan at all, really."

BECAUSE I NO LONGER WORK IN A BASEMENT, BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh man, it was the best thing ever. No matter what, after this summer? I win.

(Anxiety about the first day of school is coming. Shut the fuck up with all the "Back to School" shit Office Depot. No one is talking to you.)

Song of the day: Pocket Full of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield.

Monday, August 11, 2008


First, before I get all serious, if you want other nostalgia from my college years, see Jay's blog about High Life. It cracked me up. But only go look if you've got a lot of time for the You Tube-ing. (Tubing?)

Onto some social commentary. Or at least something resembling it.

I keep hearing all of this talk about whether or not we are in a recession, and all this talk of people cutting corners and losing their homes, and to be honest, it sort of goes right over my head. As someone who has been "voluntarily" unemployed since March, believe you me, I know a thing or two about cutting corners. But it felt like it was just me cutting back until recently. Not in a self-centered way, but knowing that I had to cut corners made sense and I didn't really feel like I saw it happening around me. I was walking down one of the big streets in my neighborhood, and I counted 4 cute little boutique-y stores with "Store Closing" signs in the window. Then today, I heard that a very good friend of mine was laid off by a company that I used to work for. I have mixed emotions about the company, but I was always happy that they seemed to be good to her. And she seems fine, but I am pissed on her behalf. She's very "Everything happens for a reason" but I am totally sending some evil eye in their direction.

I don't know. Just everyone out there? Try to put a little money away for a rainy day, but I'll keep hoping for sunny skies over you.

Song of the day: Money, Money, Money by ABBA/Meryl Streep in Mamma Mia. (PS- go see this movie. It just makes me happy.)

Sunday, August 10, 2008


It's a beautiful evening here in Chicago, so I'm sitting here with all of my doors and windows open. I can always hear crowd noise when the Cubs are playing, but a few minutes ago, I could actually understand that they were chanting "Cardinals Suck". So I went to check, and they are, in fact, playing the Cardinals. That is bizarre.

In honor of that, it's a Song of the day double play- two different songs called Stutter! Because I can't decide which one makes me happier- the Elastica song or the Joe song (f/Mystikal.) One is very high school, the other is college, and I just can't make the call. One is edgy, the other makes me think I should head over to 201 and see if I can snag a free beer, and since it's Sunday night, maybe try to make it in time for some POS voting. Ah, the old days...

PS- Trel, you totally need to have guest bloggers tell their favorite POS stories and just tell your folks not to read your blog for a few days.

Friday, August 8, 2008

This could be trouble.

I've been home watching approximately 15 mins. of the Opening Ceremonies for the Olympics, and I've already heard a story that made me tear up a little. Seriously Olympic commentators? You have to hit me in the heart strings that soon? You're going to show me an adorable 9-year-old who saved his classmates after an earthquake and expect me to keep it together? Seriously, Yao Ming, how are you not just totally tempted to eat that kid's face? He's so cute.

You may be asking too much.

Go Team USA.

But the song of the day is directly to you, Mr. Commentators. (And it's a quick shout out to Jenn- I hope no one will play any games with your heart, either. Fingers and toes crossed, perhaps even a prayer or two.) Quit Playing Games by the Backstreet Boys! Lackey, I think you'll like this one, too.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Dirty girl

Dear Guitar Teacher,

Oh, GT. If you want me in your room, you don't have to make up a silly story about your power being out except for the one outlet that just happens to be in your bedroom. Seriously. I'll go willingly.



(I am a huge dork. And this is sort of pathetic, but it's totally cracking me up and I haven't had a crush in a very long time. So it's fun.)

Song of the day: Banana Pancakes by Jack Johnson. Because it's the song GT decided to teach me last night. He totally wants to make me banana pancakes. (Let me check- yep, I'm still a loser.)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


There are very few things in which I can definitively say that I am not a big sissy. But thunderstorms are one of them. When it starts storming, I get so excited and happy and sitting staring out my window at the sky going apeshit totally makes my day. I love all of the energy in the air, I get a little nutty. Plus, I read somewhere once a long time ago something about reasons why tornadoes rarely hit urban areas, so I have nothing to worry about. But last night, they actually called out my neighborhood and told us to go to the basement, and that threw me. And it was one of those things where I wasn't sure what to do- I don't have a radio anymore, there was no way I could keep track of what was happening because our windows in the pseudo-basement face the wrong way so I wouldn't know what was up. So I was standing in the back stairway and I actually saw the rain twirling. The rain was coming down in circles over the stadium lights at Wrigley. It was bizarre. Even weirder because I'd woken up yesterday morning having dreams about tornadoes hitting the city. Long story short? I'm scary psychic, but fine. And that was one freaky ass storm.

My roommies are both gone for the rest of the week, so this is today's dance around your apt. in your underwear song of the day: D.A.N.C.E by Justice. Do the dance!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Happy Birthday, Timmy!

Awwww, what's that you ask? I mean, it's awfully cute, right? It's like I sent you a little ray of sunshine for your birthday. I'm the nicest girl ever.

Or not. Anyone else remember what I gave Tim for his birthday last year? Yeah, that's right. I dropped some syph on his ass. Recently, he was mad at me for something, and when he mentioned that to a coworker they said, "Why, did she give you herpes again?" And first, I was all, "Yo, give syph the respect he deserves, don't go just assuming that all STD's are the same." Anyway, it was convenient timing because I was reminded that his birthday was coming up, so of course I go check the best gift giving website ever, and guess what! They DO have herpes, and I'm nothing if not a sucker for tradition. So order some herpes I did. (Then sent it to Timmy and being nice enough to hyphenate his new last name...because he hasn't bothered to do that yet.) I told my sister to keep her eye out for it, and she was like, "This joke will never stop being funny."

Apparently, the herp got out of the bag last night because I got a text that said, "I'm glad Sarah thinks herpes is cute since I will have him forever!" Hee hee. Tim has herpes. I'm the best sister-in-law in the WORLD.

No givebacks.

Timmy's b-day song of the day? Catch My Disease by Ben Lee.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Drunk chicks

Remember how I was all sad because I gave up all of my classic drunken texts? And I asked you guys to help me out?

Well, let me tell you something- you have been USELESS as far as that is concerned. Seriously, it's like you all got old and stopped being ridiculous. So being the leader that I am, on Friday, I took matters into my own hands and tried a new Mexican place with Skylar because we heard that the margaritas were phenomenal.

They are. After 2 of them, it was approximately 8:30 and we were bombed but it was OBVIOUSLY too early to go home so we left and went to another bar. Since I was helping Tim celebrate his birthday, I was texting him all night to let him know how the Chicago celebration was going, and good news! My new phone has a sent folder for text messages so that I can look back and see exactly how much of an asshole I really am.

We were at the 2nd bar, having a few beers (duh) and we started talking to some Canadian dudes who were sitting behind us. I was arguing for way too long about whether the word sombrero means hat in Spanish, and we went so far as to ask the busboy to help us settle the bet. (I won, but seriously? Racist! Who actually drags the busboy into the discussion?) Then we went inside- something about noise laws, and Skylar went to pee. At one point Canadian #1 was all, "Um, do you think you should check on your friend?" And I'm like, "Nah, she's good. I'm not worried about her at all, I'm sure she's fine." About 30 seconds later our waitress comes over and says, "Hey, your friend is stumbling around in the bathroom you should probably check on her." So I crack up and head down, and yeah....she is in bad shape. So I hold her hair for a minute, then put some paper towels on her face and go back upstairs to pay our tab. But I insisted on finishing my beer first. (Again, who DOES that?) So then I dragged Sky home and dropped her in my bed with some water, and slept on the couch. That's sort of weird, normally I'd just crawl in with her, but my spidey senses must have been tingling because in the morning she came out with all of my sheets in her arms and said, "Me and your sheets are going to take a little shower." Because she puked. In my bed.

She felt horrible, but I couldn't stop laughing. The poor kid was sick for most of the day yesterday.

I had a text from Tim when I woke up that said, "I just forwarded that to your sister." and I thought, "Oh shit, what was the last thing I sent?" It was:

"Give in to the roofies. You'll like it, I promise. Sky is passed out in my bed."

Seriously, it sounds like I'm simultaneously trying to molest Tim AND that I already did violate Skylar. Ew. What is wrong with me? In my defense, I was not the one who mentioned roofies first, but come ON.

So yeah...I'm off the sauce for at least the next few days. How were your weekends?

Song of the day: The Garden by Mirah. I'm obsessed with this song...after seeing it on So You Think You Can Dance with my roommate. But that doesn't mean it's not an awesome song. Just that it's sad that I now get my hip music choices from an obnoxious reality show.