Monday, June 30, 2008

Scheduling issues

I know how excited I was to be unemployed. I remember it very clearly. But the reality? It's a lot of time that I've got on my hands. It's sad, but I need a schedule because I've been home for four days now, and I really don't have much to show for it besides that one blog entry. Seriously. And some empty wine bottles, because you's summer. (Trel, you still drinking every day?) I did get up early and work out today, but now I'm watching Oprah and playing on the internet, so ...yeah.

I've got to get on this. Suggestions are welcome.

Montana post coming soon.

Song of the day- Wasting My Time by Default. I'm wasting my time again.

Friday, June 27, 2008

CO- the wedding

In case you missed it, I just spent a week in CO for my sister's wedding. There was a lot going on.

First of all, this was the original vision for where the wedding would be.

Pretty, right?

But that is an assload of snow. And we couldn't get there in a car. But we did hike, obviously.

How to get down?

First, cover your ass with a garbage bag so it looks like you have on a gigantic diaper.

Then you just sliiiiiide, baby.

And you get married here instead. Aren't they pretty?

Don't you wish you were as cute as me and my sibs?

My cousin and sister-in-law, layin' it down. They are going to hate me for posting this, but it's totally worth it.

My three brothers and a pitcher of beer, post-reception. I can't even beging to explain how proud this picture makes me.

A few days later, we rented some ATV's and cruised up and down some mountains. I call this one "Stuck".

And this one is "Driving with mild abandon." How badass am I?

AND YES! I am snowboarding!!!

But look closer- it's the $12 Wal-Mart special. It's a 5-year-old kid's snowboard. But I made it go down the hill. Slowly. And with lots of falling down. This is the same hill where I learned to ski earlier this year. There's still an assload of snow over there.

So anyway, it was awesome. I was going to post pics of the kids and how big and cute they are, but then I started feeling weird about putting their pics on the internet for the world to see. I took almost no pictures of Montana, so I'll see what I've got and put up a post on that later. I have the best family ever, and I can't wait for Christmas to see them all again. Congrats again to Sarah and Timmy.

PS- I'm not sure what's up with the spacing on this, but I can't seem to fix it. Deal with it.

Song of the day: Summertime by some old school Fresh Prince. (Before he wanted to be taken seriously and changed his name to "Will Smith". Whatever.) I'm home, but still on vacation. Life is good. DRUMS, PLEASE!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Drunk asshole

That's me.  

Maris and I were just talking, and I'm all, "Hey, let me check what time my flight leaves tomorrow."  

Then I open my goddamn planner and see that I was supposed to be on a plane at noon today.I should be home by now.  Good thing I'm drunk so this is friggin' HYSTERICAL.  What's  $100 change fee?  

Song of the day:  Asshole, by one fabulous Mr. Denis Leary.  "I'm a real fuckin' asshole!"

Friday, June 20, 2008

The Russian, version 2.0

Oh man.

I should maybe stop going out with dudes I meet in bars. This guy last night was Russian and German, and had an accent, but was a little sketchy about where he's from. He's lived a lot of places, but he was definitely avoiding the question. Weird. So last night, I've told the boy (from here on out known as TR2.0) that he should meet us out where I'm supposed to be with Marisa and some of her friends for an impromptu bachelorette party. Unfortunately, the bride to be decided to bail. So we went and had a beer, and I hadn't heard from TR2.0 so I was all, "Whatever, let's go home and sit on the couch in our pj's." So we headed home, and when we get there, a text pops up on my phone from 45 mins. earlier saying, "I'm on my way, but I'll probably be late." And I'm all, "Shiiiiiiit." So long story short, everything nearby closes early and at this point it's almost 11, so he comes over to M's house. I made her sit outside with me while he showed up and we had a glass of wine, and talked a bit. He's sweet, and then Marisa and her roommate (whose window was right by where we were) needed to get some sleep, so we went for a walk. And suddenly, he's talking to me like I'm his girlfriend and he's trying to make plans for when he can see me again, and I'm all, "Dude, I was thinking maybe a free beer and a little smoochin'. I'm okay with not knowing your last name." He was planning on leaving town today, so it shouldn't have been an issue. He kept talking about rolling into Chicago, but I wasn't taking him seriously. The only other really funny thing was that I thought he was asking me if I dream a lot, because I'd been telling him that scary movies give me bad dreams. And I said that I dream almost every night, sometimes all night long. And then he says, "Do you really drink that much?" I almost fell over laughing. Whoops.

This afternoon, I got a vm AND a text letting me know that he's decided not to leave until tomorrow. I'm totally laying low and pretending I didn't see that. I know I'm awesome and all, but's pretty messed up.

Marisa is out at a funeral and a rehearsal dinner- not the same place or people, just that they're both happening now. I'm a little bored.

Song of the day? One Night Stand by Janis Joplin. That goes out to TR2.0. Sorry dude.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Vacay, part 2

I left CO yesterday to head for the wilds of Mantana. CO was beautiful. I'm still getting all stupid and choked up when I think about my sister's wedding. It was amazing, and I'm thrilled to have Timmy as a brother-in-law. Now I officially get to pick on him for the rest of his life. I'll post pics when I get home and I'm not stealing moments on the internet when other people aren't using it. I have a pic series of my 3 brothers finishing off a pitcher of beer that needs to be posted all over the interwebs. It's that awesome.

But get this- I hadn't been in Missoula for 6 hours before I was asked out. Seriously. Apparently, this is why they call it Mantana. And I said I'd go out with him, but the more I think about it, the more it seems a bit creepy, so I'm just going to have him meet me out wherever we are tonight so that he doesn't drive me up the side of a mountain to kill me and dump the body. He's already called me to see if we were still hanging out tonight, so I give him points for that. Unless he was assuming I was just drunk and wouldn't remember. Whatever, I'm on vacation. Which I keep announcing, because it feels good. I slept in today, too.

Right now, I've got 15 mins. until I go get a superfly cheap massage. I love the prices in this town- I was buying rounds all night last night, and it wasn't even Miller Lite and my total was $22. I went back and asked the bartender if that was right, because it seemed way too low. He thought I was hilarious.

Marisa and I are throwing around the idea of heading to Seattle on Tuesday. Why the hell not? Have I mentioned that I'm on vacation?

Song of the day? Isn't it obvious? Vacation by the Go Go's.

Monday, June 9, 2008


I'm leaving tomorrow morning and not coming home until the 25th. I'm not taking my computer. I'll post pictures and stories when I get back, but this will probably not entertain you for awhile.

But, be prepared for this: Monster Truck Wedding.

Peace out, suckas.

PS- Also, to any asshole stranger danger blog readers, don't break into my home and steal my shit. A) None of it is worth much, and B) I still have roommates around who will totally put a cap in your ass.

Thursday, June 5, 2008


Yeah, I got one.

To sum up, as of tomorrow,

1. I will have finished my student teaching.
2. I will have finished my master's.
3. I will have found a job.
4. I will attempt to curb the crazy.

Also, I am one spoiled brat.

Song of the Day: Good Life by Kanye West. Because as of 6 pm tomorrow, I am on vacation. For the next 2 months. "Welcome to the good life" indeed, Mr. West. Indeed.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

A really good day

I had a really good day today. The kind of day that made me feel secure in wanting to be a teacher. It started when I went to the third grade's "Open House" to show off their projects- they recreated Chicago landmarks. And all of the kids I work with in the after school program were so excited to see me and show off their projects for me. There's one kid who is usually someone I'm not thrilled to see because he's kind of an instigator. (Which doesn't mean I don't like him, just that my day has a little extra challenge when he's around. And by that point, I'm usually a little tired for extra challenges.) Anyway, he came running up to me and pulled me over to his project to show it off to me, and then he was like, "GUESS WHAT! My mom had a baby last night!" And this kid is NOT a cuddlebug, but he was practically in my lap telling me all about it. He's been an only child up to this point, so I have to think that being 9 and getting a little brother is something that would flip anyone out. And he so desperately needed to talk about it. And being there for it made me feel really good.

Then, bad news- my cooperating teacher's dog had to be put down today. She was upset, so she left and I put myself in charge (and the school let me. Score!) and I had the kids make her cards to tell her that they're sorry, and the cards were so unbelievably sweet, they made me cry. In the good way.

Short version of the story? I love kids. And I'm glad I get to hang out with them all day.

Song of the day: The Kids Are Right. (Because I was thinking for a minute that it was "The Kids Are Alright." I'll admit it was my mistake.) But still a good song.

Monday, June 2, 2008


The other day, Trel blogged about the fact that he's worried about the American education system, because he thinks a lot of people are dumber than they should be. (I'm probably paraphrasing a little.) Anyway, not the way to get in good with a future teacher. But I do get run-ins with dumb people and how annoying they can be.

Anyhoodle, then today, I get a text from Jay "singing" this song. (He wanted to nominate it for Song of the Day.) If you're too lazy to click all of my links (and I totally get that), it's Feist "1 2 3 4". What's the problem with that you ask? Sure, the song is catchy. Sure, Feist is a cute, quirky little songwriter, and for the most part, I dig what she's doing. I'd totally have a beer with her (and then probably mock her behind her back for being quirky, but I'd enjoy it all the same), but this song makes me COMPLETELY INSANE because she's counting and she says, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, and 10". WTF? What happened to 7 and 8? And I know the old joke about how "7 8 (ate) 9" but that would only explain 9's disappearance. So Feist, show 7 and 8 a little respect and for the love of god, THINK OF THE CHILDREN.

As long as I'm on this particular soapbox, I also despise Fergilicious, by Fergie. Now Fergie is someone I'm okay with staying far away from as a rule. I think she's a moron and kind of a waste of space. She insists on spelling things in her songs. I'm sorry she's so lyrically challenged, but if you're going to spend so much time spelling shit, maybe you should learn how to spell. It's spelled TASTY not TASTEY, asshole.

Only four days left until freedom! Somebody drink something for me!

Sunday, June 1, 2008


Ways in which I prove myself to be an asshole, May 2008 edition:

1.) I just wrote that it's the May edition, remembered that it's June as of today, and decided to stick with it anyway. I haven't really been a jerk yet today.

2.) I gave my 1st graders a spelling test on Friday then when I was grading them, realized I wasn't sure how to spell one of the words. (You tell me off the top of your head how many c's are in cocoon.)

3.) I went to a job fair yesterday and spent the entire time I was there hating the entire job fair concept. It seems so great on paper- all of these people are hiring! All of you want a job! Let's all be in the same room! Except that all that happens is you wait in line to get 30 seconds of someone's time, and then they just throw your resume on a pile with a billion other ones. One woman was so dismissive I'm not sure that I didn't give her a dirty look as I walked away. Stupid waste of a beautiful Saturday. Also, the sheer amount of paper that I saw there? So not eco-friendly. Considering I don't think anyone is even looking at most of it.

4.) I get so mad at Trader Joe's for trying to make all of their treats sound healthy so that I want to buy the dark chocolate covered cherries for the antioxidants, but then have to remind my brain that it is still candy and therefore, not actually a super healthy snack.

5.) I thought I had a lot more to say for this post. Maybe I'm not as bad as I thought.

I survived last week, and things really and truly are much easier for me from here on out. I'm about to finish my last paper, and the hard part of my student teaching is over, and now I'm just waiting to see what will happen with the jobs I interviewed for. (But keep those fingers crossed all the same.)

Less than two weeks until my sister gets hitched! Only 5 more days until I'm unemployed for real!

I need some new book suggestions. I've been so full of crazy that I've been re-reading books I already have, but I'm ready to tackle something new. Plus, tv is over and summer is reading time. If only I could hang a hammock in my "yard". (My deck is the roof of the garage behind my house, located directly under the el.)

I'm off to see some Sex. As in the Sex and the City movie, not porn, you big pervs.

Song of the day? Easy Like Sunday Morning. Because it's just that kind of Sunday. And I dig it. Plus, this gay-ass picture of Lionel Richie is cracking me up.