Monday, April 28, 2008


I know some of my readers (all 4 of you) are not big tv watchers. But oh man, if you don't watch How I Met Your Mother, you are missing out. Ignore all of the Britney Spears crap, this show is awesome. And then there's this guy.

He plays Marshall, the biggest puppy dog sweetheart on this show. But I just watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall yesterday (which was actually pretty funny) and all I can think while I'm watching him tonight is....oh man, I totally saw your junk.

I will never be a real grown up.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Explanation, please

Could someone please explain to me why lying around reading books or watching tv on the internet is so much more appealing than getting up and doing all of the stuff I need to do today? Subquestion: why am I such a lazy ass?

Why can't I use allergy eye drops when I'm wearing my contacts? My eyes are itchy motherfuckers even with drugs, and it's starting to really drive me bananas. (B! ANANAS! Thanks for the spell check, Gwen Stefani.)

Why is it gray outside? If it was sunny, would I be any more motivated to get something done?

How do songwriters know when a "na na naaaa" will sound better than a "do do doooo"? Do you think they go through a lot of different sounds before they pick one? Or do you think they just make noise where they have no words and then suddenly go, "Yo, that sounds awesome." Was that the thought process behind this entire Police song? Or were they just trying to stop swearing all the time, and the rubber band on their wrist wasn't doing the trick? Instead, let's try baby talk!

Why is this still one of the funniest things I've ever seen like 10 years later? I can never decide if the basketball player or the boot is funnier. Or moonwalking the business man. I just know that it makes me laugh.

My roommate is totally laughing at my whiny ass right now. I can't pretend she doesn't have a point. Lying around whining about how hard my life is because I need to go to the grocery store. I get how that's pathetic. But I'm BUSY pondering life's big questions. GOD!

Happy Sunday, people. :)

Friday, April 18, 2008

Earth shakin'

So last night, I'm sleeping, since that is what I normally do in the wee hours. And I wake up, and I'm not sure why. Then I realize that my bed is shaking like someone was trying to wake me up. I live on the top floor of a very shaky building, so at first, I think it's the wind, but then I realize that I can't hear any wind. I start thinking that it must have been an earthquake, and then my brain is all, "Hey dumbass, you live in Chicago. They don't have earthquakes there." And as I'm falling back to sleep, I wonder what the heck it was, and how crazy I'll sound if I try to tell anyone the earthquake story.

Except that it was true. Take that imaginary doubter-faces!!!!!

The only other funny thing I have to say is this: As of today, my cable is officially gone. Please feel free to do whatever you need to in order to mourn it's passing in my life. (Seriously yo, I'm SAD.)

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


I'm torn between giggling like the 12-year-old that lives in my head, and shaking my head in shame that THIS is what the fancy schmancy men's hat store near my school chose to put in their window:

If you can't read that, due to my crappy cell phone, that says, "NEED HEAD".

I expect crappy t-shirts that say that to storm college campuses in approx. 2.5 minutes.

Monday, April 14, 2008

A bad scene

So I was just riding the bus home, when a not-small woman got on with her little cart of groceries. It wasn't until we pulled out that the smell hit me. She was sitting in the front, I was in the back...but it was so bad that almost everyone moved to the back of the bus.

I had my hand over my nose, and they smelled like vinegar (vinegar/baking soda volcanoes today!) and that was way better.

I mean, I don't mean to judge...but I do. It was nasty.

Today's song? A little nostalgia with some Smelly Cat. What ARE they feeding you?

Sunday, April 13, 2008


I'm not here to cry about it, but I'm not going to see FOTC. Tickets sold out in something like 12 minutes, and I am not one of the people who got them. So don't mind me, but I'll just be over here cutting onions to make a lasagne...for one.

I'm currently fighting off the first cold I will go ahead and attribute to those damn germy kids I see every day. But at least it's a good reason to be lying around watching bad movies on tv all day.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

This is how we do it

More random thoughts:


I'm sitting in a coffee shop working on lesson plans before I go to class later. Anyway, there are two hot guys in here. I was making eyes at both of them, then one went outside to smoke. That's dealbreaker #1. Cutie #2 also appeared to be studying, but I looked at his screen, and saw the words, "Being saved by the Word is not as hard as most people think." Yeah...not so much.


There is a kid who's older brother comes into my classroom to wait for their mom to come get them after school. Within about 30 seconds of walking in, Older Brother pretty much always has Younger Brother in a headlock. It cracks me up, and then I have this moment of thinking, "Damn, I miss my brothers....ah shit, I'm the grown up who has to tell them to knock it off. Being a grown up sucks. If no one else were here, I'd totally let the little one get in one good punch."


Speaking of brothers, my li'l bro is moving to San Diego. Heck yeah, awesome place for me to go visit next spring break.


But it's very nice. Hell yeah Mother Uckers, Flight of the Conchords are touring. Skylar and I can't stop talking about it. It is going to be AWESOME. Seriously, I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait. It's what I'm into. It's Business Time, my friends. That's why they're called business socks. I plan on being the most beautiful girl in the room (or at least in the top 3) while I foux da fa fa my ass off. Don't forget your baguette or your Gerard Depardieu. Also, save a cup of tea for your nana.

If you don't think anything in the above paragraph is funny, I'm not sure how we're even friends. Just so you know. Maybe you should think about it. What are your overheads?! (I. CAN'T. STOP.)

Ooops, I haven't gotten much work done...crap, less sleep...AGAIN. This is a really vicious cycle I'm in.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Miss Rachel had a long day

I promise I'll do better to try to make this more entertaining again sometime soon. So I will put in a very lame attempt right now...with my list of things that are wearin' me the fuck out. Seriously, I cannot explain to you how tired I am. I'm not sick, and I'm pushing to make it to 9 pm tonight.

Here we go:

- Damn kids and their energy.
- Working out.
- Rain. It's cold and rainy, what's not to be sleepy about?
- Soup.
- Activists. All the activating!
- My lack of sleep.
- No naptime?!
- The evening news.

I'm out.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Random rambling

I'm doing my best to not turn this into a blog about kids what with my spending all day with them and all. But I will share the joke I heard today that would have made me laugh even if a 5-year-old wasn't the one telling me:

Q: How do you make a kleenex dance?

A: Put a little boogie in it.

Awesome, right?

That's still going well, but while I was working out tonight, I decided I need to take over more stuff sooner. My teacher is offering me opportunities, and letting me go at my own pace, I just decided that I need to up my pace. I only get 5 weeks in every classroom, and I need to get the most out of it, right? Pep talk over.

So for some reason, my cable and internet haven't been cut off yet. (I got them for free from work...which I quit.) So I'm watching a little Top Chef Chicago and thinking that if people come to visit this summer, I can do a Top Chef tour day...back in high school when I'd just moved here, my friend Kristin came in from Missouri and we attempted to have a Ferris Beuller day, without the parade or Cubs game. It was actually a really good time. So let me know if you want to sign up!

Don't mind me if I don't have much to say for awhile. I'm not used to having no time during the day to make smartass comments. It's nice to be so occupied and engaged at all times, but it's also exhausting and I've barely had time to come up for air.

Song of the day- Knock 'em Out by Lily Allen. My friend Jessica emailed me awhile back and asked me if I'd heard this song, because she said it reminded her of me. I'll go ahead and take that as a compliment.