Wednesday, December 31, 2008


I decided to scrap the idea of doing some cheesy 2008 retrospective until after it's really over. There are a few hours left for the shit to really hit the fan, so let's give it a shot, shall we? Instead, I'm sharing with you a few snippets of conversations I've had over the last few days that have cracked me up.

Upon receiving a DVD of conversations had on Leap Day 2008: (aka the BEST PRESENT EVER)

"That's the end of my bid for the presidency."

On NYE plans:

Frank: All of my friends are in their 30s now and they're lame. Apparently, when you hit 30 you start to suck. I'm totally depressed.

Me: You are SO not invited to my birthday party, asshole.

On Meryn's new shirt:

Me: Wow. Your boobs look really good in that shirt, but it's a tease because I can't actually see anything.

Meryn's boyfriend: Wait until she ties her shoes.

On checking my email:

Someone: I sent you an email with a little attachment.

Me: If it's a picture of your penis, I'm gonna be pissed.

Someone: *silence*

Someone: I guess you'll just have to see, won't you?

Only a few more days of break! Boo! I want it to last forever...

Anyway, everyone have fun tonight and don't let the hype or alcohol convince you to do something you'll regret later. Happy New Year!



SOTD: The New Year by Death Cab for Cutie. I think it's pretty obvious why.

PS- it was not a picture of his penis. My sister probably just had a stroke.

Monday, December 29, 2008

A few Christmas pics

Well hello everyone! I'm back! Did you miss me?

I know in the past I haven't wanted to post pics of my nieces and nephews, but these are so cute (thanks to my sister-in-law's new camera- she took AMAZING pictures) that I can't myself.

I call this one "All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth." My brother was calling them vampires, which cracked me up.
The boys, waiting to be told they could open their presents. The suspense was killing them. Also, all of my college friends who had to look at the baby pictures of my very first nephew? Yeah, that's him on the right. He's 9 now, and in 4th grade. We're sort of old.
I realize that I need to flip this one, but I already loaded it, so f it. This is an early shot of how much food was there. There is a ton more coming, and a whole separate section of real food you can't see. This is mostly the dessert table. I offer this as justification for the size of my ass.
It was awesome to be home with the fam- it flew by, and I've been back in Chi-town for a few days now and it's just been too insane for me to even collect my thoughts. But there's a lot going on. I'll be back with something New Year's themed in the next day or so. Just because I can.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Happy Holidays Everybody!

This was a big, busy week. But guess who's on BREAK! Can I get a HELL FUCKING YEAH?!?!?!

Also, one of my favorite terms? Thundersnow! It's so dramatic.

I thought we would get a snow day today, but it was not to be. In the end, I was really glad to have gotten to spend a great day with my kids, but it was a busy one and I am sooo tired.

I'm headed for the homestead tomorrow (and please travel gods- let everyone get home safely and in a timely manner!) so blogging will fall by the wayside. I'll be too busy stuffing my face, playing with my awesome nieces and nephews, mocking my siblings, and being a lazy sack of boring. It's going to be so great. Everyone be safe if you're travelling, and enjoy this time!



SOTD: Happy Holidays by Andy Williams. It makes me happy. I can't wait to go home tomorrow.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Happy Monday!

I'm blogging from rest time, with a bunch of squirrel-y kids, but this is too good not to share. Someone is throwing shoes at Bush's head! It made my day. (I don't have sound on my work computer, so I don't know how noisy it is.) It was hilarious.

No SOTD because I don't want to push my luck with the interwebs.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Attention whore

In case anyone didn't know this about me, I'm kind of an attention whore. I love it. I'm just like a little kid- PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!! I adore being adored. I have a blog so that people will tell me I'm funny. I'm a teacher so that kids have to do what I say. (Ok, that last part is not true.)

I have a post mostly written in my head about reasons why I'm rejecting a lot of the guys on match that I think is pretty funny, but I'm looking at the guys I'm talking to and I'm starting to wonder why. I keep telling people, "I can tell that this guy is soooo into me!" as a joke, but most of the time, it's true and that's why I'm going on all of these dates. Here's the problem though: someone really liking you? It really is only half the battle. The other half is finding someone that you also really like. And going out with people for your own ego is only fun once, then you realize that you're in a bad situation AGAIN. And you have to wrestle with the questions of should I go out with them again? Is the fact that he really likes me enough of a reason? And quite frankly, most of the time, it is not.

Then the guilt starts. Why do I keep doing that? Why do I feel like I owe anyone anything? This is how the dating game is played, not that I'm into playing games. It's not like I'm making any promises that I don't intend to keep, but I've been the person who is really sad when someone doesn't want to go out again and I know it sucks.

There's another guy that I've been emailing who I think falls into this category. I've just recognized this pattern, and I can't decide if I'm being ridiculous, neurotic, overly cautious, or all of the above. I just keep hoping that when I meet them in person I'll find something that I really like, and lately, that hasn't been the case. I don't know how to stop. How do I draw the line between being open-minded about new people and being an attention whore?

This whole story started out way funnier in my head. Damn Catholic guilt complex. Makes me feel bad when I didn't even DO anything.

Ok, something lighter- my work holiday party was last night, and it was a lot of fun. I drank a lot of wine, then woke up on my couch, fully dressed, covered in rice with the tv on at 4 am. That was confusing. So I just got up and went to bed. This morning when I woke up, I brushed my teeth, and I swear to you, it is the single greatest thing I had ever done. Toothbrushes are amazing. Seriously.

SOTD: White Winter Hymnal by Fleet Foxes. The title just fits my mood today. It's entirely possible that I am just in need of a nap.

Alternate SOTD: Mistake by Fiona Apple. It just got stuck in my head as I re-read this. I'm gonna make a mistake. I'm gonna do it on purpose. Gonna waste my time.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


Oh man! All of you political junkies who've been running on fumes since the election ended? Merry Christmas! (Happy Hanukkah, Jon Stewart!) I give you Rod. And the dude who's sticking it to him, because I'm too lazy to look for another pic where they aren't stuck together.

So all of these people are all, "Illinois is the most corrupt state in the union!" and shit, and all I'm saying is HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOO-HOOOOOO!!!! We're Number ONE! All of our governors go to JAIL. SUCK IT SARAH PALIN! You only dream of being this bad.
(True story: My roommate and I were discussing the above thoughts and she said, "Sarah Palin is going to send him one hell of a fruit basket!")
So all of you out there in the "law abiding" 49? Good luck trying to catch up with our shit. I'm waving my big foam finger right in your face.
SOTD: Totally non-topical, just stuck in my head all day. It's by O.A.R. and it's called Shattered, but I always think it's called Turn the Car Around. No wait! It's totally topical when I get the title right- this one goes out to Rod's career. (I really just think it's funny calling him Rod. Do you see that hair? What a tool!)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Oh poop.

I sent this tale to my sister earlier today, and she told me that it was my best teaching story yet. So enjoy...

I was waiting for a kid to wrap it up in the bathroom today, when he keeps saying he needs help. I asked him what he needed help with, and he said he had to show me something.

I'm no sucker, so I asked what it was, and he said, "I want you to see that my poop is shaped like the number 7."

I told him I'd take his word for it, and he needed to come out. When he came out he said, "That was SO MUCH POOP. I can't believe it all went down when I flushed."

I didn't even try to keep a straight face.

SOTD: Shitsong by Kate Nash. This youtube was hard to find. Ridiculous.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Rock this bitch.

So, Turkey Day was good, fam is good, playdate with Tricia was hilarious, blah blah blah.

I don't really have anything to post but this SOTD. And since I will never be able to post anything here where the title is relevant (I have family members who look at this thing), the only reason I'm putting this up is because this song makes me jump up and down doing air guitar on my couch.

Sex On Fire by Kings of Leon.

PS- for those of you (Marisa and maybe Sarah G) who like to start rumors, this seriously is not indicative at all of my love life. I just f'n love this song. Like listening to it on the iPod on repeat the whole way to work love it. I should probably stop, because I'm getting funny looks on the bus.

PPS- What's up with all the chicken in this video? Things this song does not make me think of? Chicken.