Monday, March 31, 2008

Not a bad start

My first day of student teaching went very well. Nothing to be scared of. I like the teachers, I like the kids, I'm not in charge yet.

But I did forget both my water bottle and my soup aka the bulk of my lunch. So I walked out of there STARVING. That's what I get for being an idiot.

Otherwise, not much to report except the fact that I dig being done at 3:15. I was productive in the afternoons! What a bizarre concept.

Some cutie pie kids in honor of me spendingi all day with other cutie pie kids.


My Humps


And one of my all time favorite's, Walter's long lost son. He was injured. He was injured bad.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

"Happy first day of the rest of your life!"

Those were the words from my roommate when I got home on Friday, aka my last day of work. Yep, ladies and gentlemen, I am unemployed!!! Jerkfaces at my office made me cry, and they didn't even do anything to earn it. Walter was just all, "Hey, watch me make Rachel cry," and then just because he said it, it happened. Then he hugged me, so I hit him and said I didn't hug bullies. My goodbye party was a good time though- I basically drank beer all night and didn't eat much, so I was just telling and listening to silly stories - the kind that come out when people have been drinking. Awesome.

But then Friday, I was supposed to meet the Lackeys for some drinks, and I didn't make it. It was a big day! I was tired! Sorry about that.

Yesterday, I woke up and turned into a big fat pile of slack. This does not bode well for my summers- I slept in, then puttered around for a little while, got sucked into a really horrendous movie, then fell asleep on my couch for THREE HOURS. No joke. Like I said, that is pretty messed up. I'm not sure how I was so tired, but...yeah. Since then, it's been a whole lotta babysitting. Gotta make some money somehow, you know?

Tomorrow begins my student teaching. I thought I'd be more nervous, but I think that I am not currently nervous because the first week will pretty much be me getting my feet wet and figuring out how it all works before I get put in week. Watch out pre-schoolers! I'm totally going to laugh at you! Be prepared to crack me up.

I can't believe it looks like my corporate America time is over. It's such a weird way to look at things...but I'm totally excited. I mean, never say never (I used to say I'd never go to grad school or run a marathon, but now I've done both of those things) but it's looking good. For now.

I'll try to work on bringing back the funny in the next few days, but right now I have to clean my room. No seriously- it's the best stress reliever anyway. The kitchen is already spotless.

Song of the day- (Ch-ch-ch) Changes by David Bowie.

Oh, and I just ate a rice krispie treat the size of my head and called it lunch. Scary as all of this grown up crap is, it has it's perks.

Thursday, March 27, 2008


Not mine...not yet.

I just got done with my exit interview- I think she's afraid I'll be hungover if we do it tomorrow. We're headed out tonight to celebrate the end of my illustrious career here. (Or to drink beer, either way...) So I don't have much to say, because my head is a little bit of a jumbled mess, but I had to share this:

So, I was listening to a little George Michael the other day (I'm on a weird kick. Can't explain it, don't want to.) and I was listening to Freedom '90, and um, guys? How did we not pick up on him being gay? This song is SO about him being gay but being locked in his closet. Seriously, I'm too lazy to do any fact checking on this, but I'm pretty sure it took years for this information to come out. Just like him.

Also, I totally understand that I was all of 11 when that song came out, so I want to wash my hands of the responsibility of being the one to figure it out.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Great Interview Experiment

(Ed note: I started this post like 2 weeks ago. This requires thinking, and that's HARD.)

I'm pretending that I have a large audience for this blog by being a part of the Great Interview Experiment. Basically, there are a lot of people making an interview go around. I'll be interviewed by one person, and get to interview someone else, and then the results will be published on each other's blogs. I'm being interviewed by Jenny, who's blog Zesty Enterprise has a lot of amazing pictures on it that make me want to hop on a plane and head to Hong Kong. Or be lame and post my Thailand pictures that are two years old, just because I can. Her questions are in italics, my responses are normal.

What are you proud of?

My family. I know so many people who hate their families, and I just don't get it. I'd give a kidney to any one of them. Every single one of them is funny, thoughtful, and successful at whatever they decide to do. I'm proud to know them, and to be associated with them, and to brag about them to my friends. But we're not really sappy people, so don't go aroung telling them I said so. Because if they bring it up, I'll just tell them to shut up, because I'm still cooler than they are.

Please list three weird things about yourself:
Only three? (I just called Shaynea to ask for ideas because I'm having trouble coming up with specific examples. She has out a legal pad, this is probably not going to end well for either one of us.)

1.) I still sleep with the teddy bear that I've had since I was four. I feel weird when she's not there. (Yes, the bear is a she, which a lot of people seem to think is strange, but I'm not sure why.) I don't travel with her or anything like that. Her name is Jesse, which used to be Jessica, which was my favorite name at the time.

2.) I like pretty much anything you can make out of a tomato, but cannot stand the taste of raw tomatoes.

3.) I have boy handwriting. Or, as my friends call it, serial killer handwriting. It's supersmall, and REALLY sloppy. I'm working on it, what with my kindergarten teacher aspirations and all, but I really believe that at some point, my principal will have to pull me aside and give me a talking to...about using computers to teach letter writing.

Do you have any pets? If not, tell me about any animals that have impacted you, be they childhood pets or a friend's.

No pets, but I do want to get a fish at some see if I can actually care for another living thing. Plus, they're pretty. When I was little, we had a dog named Ele, and she was part black lab and part husky. She was a pretty good dog, although I don't think she loved it when we moved from a farm where she could run free whenever she wanted to a subdivision where we had to keep her chained up to keep her in the yard. She got sick when I was in college (and my folks were back at the farm), and one day she disappeared and never came back. My mom went looking for her but never managed to find her. Reigning theory is that she knew it was her time to go, so she went and did it on her own terms.

Do you have any phobias?
This would probably also fit in well under weird things about me. I have a weird fear of driving across really huge bridges. Like the one to Coronado in San Diego, or really any gigantic bridge over water. I have this recurring nightmare where I'm driving a gigantic van with everyone I love in it, and I have to go over this bridge and it suddenly turns into a rollercoaster, and I have no way out but to floor it, and I always wake up at the part when no one is sure if we'll make it. I can't explain it, but I know that the last few times I've had to drive over a bridge, I have to mentally prepare for it. And I go as fast as I can to get it over with.

Also, bugs. Gross.

What are your pet peeves?
Inconsiderate people. There are a lot of them wrapped up in this one simple concept.

How many times have you seen The Big Lebowski?
This is going to get me into trouble, but I've only seen like the first 10 mins. of this movie, and then I fell asleep.

If you could go to a convention anwhere, what would it be about and where would it be held?
I would like to go to a convention...crap, it seems like I should have something I want to learn... this is going to be the most boring answer ever, but it reflects my current state of mind- I want to go to a convention of principals in Chicago who want to hire me to teach in the fall. I need to know that I have a job so that I can stop freaking out. Someday, I'll have a much better answer to that. Like a wine Hawaii.

What are your favorite movies?

French Kiss, Empire Records, Eternal Sunshine, Little Miss Sunshine, The Sweetest Thing...those are just off the top of my head. And Beautiful Girls.

What is your favorite line from a movie?
I'm sure I have a lot of favorites, but the one I think I use the most is "Where is all of this hostility coming from?"

What are your favorite blog posts of yours?

Shaynea Strikes Again, Why I Might Get Syphillis for My Birthday...and maybe one of the last ones I wrote...but I'll have to give it time to see if I still like it.

Do you karaoke? If so, what is your standard?
I have karaoke'd twice in my life. The first time was my 21st b-day, and I did Shoop. I think I might make Material Girl my standard though, because I think I rocked it when I was in LA last month.

What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?

Wine. Red in the winter, white in the summer.

Why did you start blogging? Who is your intended audience?

Mostly to entertain myself, and my sister, but I'm hoping that my friends come along for the ride, and that maybe I'll make some new ones.

Who would you like to be your pretend celebrity boyfriend? Pretend celebrity bff?

My celebrity boyfriend is definitely Wentworth Miller. He is the only reason I can justify watching Prison Break. He's just so pretty, and he's always giving me that LOOK. Like he's trying to get in my pants, and I'm always all, "Baby, I am not the one holding this up. Get over here."

My pretend celebrity BFF would probably be Lauren Graham. Mostly because I want to be Lorelai Gilmore when I grow up, minus the whole "having a kid at 16" thing. I miss that show so much- There is a huge void on my Tuesday nights, even all this time later.

So that's me! That was kind of fun, even if it took me a year and a half. Enjoy!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

CO, Part 1: Skiing

I have a lot of stories to tell about my weekend in CO, but I decided to tell it in pieces, and not necessarily in chronological order. Partially because I don't have the pics I want, and partially because I think I accidentally made Sarah feel bad yesterday, so I feel the need to tell my learning to ski story, so that she knows it wasn't as bad as scuba diving for me. Seriously, I can barely even watch people go underwater anymore, but I'll watch people ski all day long. The comparison was meant to be that not everything I try is for me.

Plus, with 3.5 days left of work, I'm not all that interested in doing much of anything, you know? Might as well blog.

So internet friends, guess what! I learned to ski!

Saturday started early. I haven't told you any other stories yet, so you don't know this, but I didn't get home Friday night until around 2 am. I don't know what time Sarah actually came to wake me up, but I know that I was dressed and downstairs before 7 am. So yeah, I started the day feeling pretty tired.

By the time we got to A-Basin with my rented skis, etc. all of the good parking was gone, and we had quite a ways to go to get to the actual ski hills. (ed. note: It probably was not all that far, it only seemed really far because I immediately strapped on my skis.) I put on my skis, and supposedly started heading towards my ski lesson! But the trail I was on was full of other people who already know how to ski, and right on a street. With cars on it. (Scary to someone who falls down a lot.) One guy saw me fall and we told him that it was my first day on skis, and he couldn't believe it. I'm not sure why he was so thrown by that, but it was weird to me. After a few tries, and a lot of frustration, I took off the skis and walked. (In ski boots, which are just plain mean bully shoes.) We got to another point of the walk in, and I put the skis back on, still trying to get to the bottom of the ski hills. I crashed into my sister a lot. I was not ready to be on any sort of incline at all. This is the point I think where I was most frustrated- I couldn't get to the feeling of being secure while on skis. I started thinking that snowshoeing would have been a better idea, but then I decided to stop being a pussy. (When I got to walk to the bottom of the hill. I won't pretend that I'm that tough.)

Finally, we got to a flat part, and I finally started to get it. I could go back and forth on that pretty flat part! I was learning! So I did that a few times, and Sarah convinced me to try the bunny hill. At this point, we were "late" as we were supposed to head back to the car, where her friends were tailgating in between runs, but since I was finally starting to get it, we just went with it. Gotta strike while the iron is hot, right?

The ski lift was not nearly as scary as I thought it would be, and it actually was my favorite part. I called it my Moment of Zen. (Thanks, Daily Show.) I don't remember exactly how long it took me to fall down, but it's safe to say that I did on that first run. But still getting back up, because I was falling on snow, so it didn't hurt. I'm such a wimp though that I couldn't push myself back up, and kept having to take off my skis to stand up. When I was about halfway down, I fell. (Not for the first time.) But as I was standing back up, Sarah's friend Leigh came charging up the hill towards me, beer in hand. It was hilarious. I hadn't realized that I had an audience until that moment. Even after falling, I felt good for finally getting it, so we did one more run. I said something along the lines of, "Oooooh, so if I turn, I'll slow down. And that's what I want, right?" So Sarah was feeling confident in my abilities. She is a rockstar cheerleader.
This is me falling down.
Then I got to sit down and eat a big burger, a cookie, and have a beer. Not bad. I let Sarah go do a bigger hill, so that she could actually enjoy some skiing with her day on the hill, and I chatted with her friends. Oh, and I went to the nice bathroom to pee instead of peeing outside. Because I hate doing that. And Sarah knows it, so I did it while she was gone. But then when she got back, her friend was like, "Hey, guess what! Rachel peed outside!" Sarah bought it for all of 5 seconds. Thanks anyway, Annie. A for effort.

It's dark, but that's me, chillin' with a beer. And happy to be sitting.

We went back up, and I started feeling a lot more confident. We figured out what I was doing wrong (turn with your BODY, not just your head) and I had one whole run without falling down. After that, I at least knew what I was doing wrong, even if I couldn't always correct it. And I did like 20 whole feet without my sister being directly in front of me telling me what to do.

After awhile, I was just tired. Our ride was almost ready to go, so I stopped and got to lay in the snow, and enjoy that it was a nice day, and I was in the middle of some pretty beautiful mountains.

I'm not sure if I want to do it again- I have bruises all over my body, and my muscles are still sore 2 days later. For the record, I only remember one fall that hurt, so I'm actually kind of surprised at how many bruises I keep finding. (But the one on my ass won't let me forget that it's there. It's not conveniently placed for activities such as sitting down.) I was going to go again on Sunday, but I was so tired and so beat up that the idea of getting back into my ski boots (which also bruised me. I am a delicate flower) was not appealing to me at all. I won't say never, but I'm not sure if I liked it enough to actively seek out doing it again, which may be my answer. But I did not snowboard. And I may be looking for something to replace that from my list.

But I tried it, and now I know what it's about. And I did start to figure it out eventually. Maybe someday, if I'm well rested and in better shape...or maybe not. I just don't know. It was not like scuba diving, though. I was not spending all of my time wishing it was over, just wishing that I could get my body to do what I wanted it to do. *shrug* But again, that's what the list is for, right?

Stories still to come: my 1st mountain bike ride, extreme grocery shopping, mechanical bull riding, and one super bachelorette party.

Song of the day: Fall Down by Toad the Wet Sprocket

Also, just to scare the shit out of anyone else who wants to learn to scuba dive, this video that my brother sent me to explain what he's been up to. (That's not him, but watching it nearly gave me a stroke.) (Ed. note: this is not actually what it's like to learn to scuba. This is me being a big fat baby and scaring innocent people.)

Monday, March 24, 2008

Reasons Why

I have a long post coming about my weekend in CO, pending the arrival of some pics. I am pretty lazy, so I let everyone else do the picture taking, and gave a lot of reminders to "send me a copy of that! Like tomorrow if you have time!"

But because I did accomplish a few things on this list over the weekend, and decided that I just might cross one of them off, I spent my time on the plane coming home pondering what the purpose was of creating this list. (I've probably already talked about this, but I'm too lazy to go check.) Most of the things on the list are either a) things I'm afraid of or b) things I need to just get off of my ass and just DO already. So it's a good way to challenge myself. I may continue this idea in future years, but probably with a lot less stuff. 30 things is a LOT. But this year is going to be a year of HUGE changes for me, so I figured I might as well make myself push on through, and keep it interesting along the way.

The other thing that I figured out was that it is okay to be afraid of these things. It is also okay to try them and decide that I don't like them. No, really. Trying new things is the only way to find out if you actually like it, or if you were right all of those years that you left it well enough alone. Want an example? Oh good, because I totally have one.

A few years ago, before going to Thailand, I decided that I wanted to get scuba certified so that I could dive while we were there. Sounds like a good idea, right? Going into the ocean, seeing pretty fish, blah blah blah. I signed up for the classes, and did all of the reading, and I was so ready to get in the pool. But a funny thing happened. (Maybe not "ha ha" funny...) I got underwater, and I was completely terrified. They tell you to breathe deep, but when you're hyperventilating, that is pretty much impossible. I was thrown, because I've always been fine in the water- Mom made me take swimming lessons so that she never had to worry about taking us to the lake or a pool and we could all have a good time. (She grew up in Hawaii, she knows a thing or two about swimming herself.)

Anyway, I kept pushing myself to go to the classes and to do what they were telling me to do. It usually took me a little while, but I'd usually get there. I could kneel underwater, and I got through "losing" my mask and using someone else's spare regulator. (I'm blanking on terminology, so that may not be the right word, but again...lazy.) But as I got out of the pool, I realized that I absolutely hated it. Sure, I got through it, but I was still feeling 100% panicked the whole time. I was only doing what I had to do so that they would let me get out of the pool. Seriously, after every task, I was silently begging them to let me surface. This is not fun.

So I quit. And I was ashamed. And scared to tell my sister, for fear that she would be disappointed in me. Or think I'm a wuss, which is way worse. But she totally understood, and didn't question it when I told her I couldn't do it. And I finally connected the dots within my brain to tell myself that it was OKAY that I didn't like to do it. There are plenty of other things I can do. I am in need of some new hobbies, so here's hoping I find some with this list.

And there it is. In the category of being brave, I'm definitely in the category of fake it 'til you make it. Usually with my sister pushing me the whole way, because she's 100x tougher and braver than I'll ever be, but she's very patient with me and my lack of coordination when I ask her to teach me to do things that scare me. (Sarah, I don't feel like I've thanked you enough for everything you do. Is this enough yet? Let me know. You know I don't do sappy well.) (Also, the other day, I was telling a story about Sarah, and my friend Beth said, "Why is every story I ever hear about your sister INSANE?" See above.)

To sum up: No broken bones. But this story might be a little bit of a preview of what is to come. Any guesses as to what activity that could be? :)

Song of the day: Just Fine by Mary J. Blige. This goes out to all of the girls at Sarah's bachelorette party- your list of super powers definitely includes bustin' some funky moves. Can't wait to see more of those moves in June!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Hell Yeah!

This weekend is going to be a doozy. I'm leaving on a jet plane tonight for the wilds of Colorado. While I'm there, I will pseudo-host my sister's bachelorette party (Kate and Leigh have generously agreed to let us crash at their places, so I just sort of asked a lot of questions more than I'm really hosting) and in the process I will cross three things off of my list- riding a mechanical bull, learning to ski, and learning to snowboard. I think that's all. My main goal is come home without getting broken. Anyone want to place bets on that happening?

Anyway, another good sign of how this weekend will go:

I received this email from my future brother-in-law this morning, with the subject line "It's 9:00".

Liquor store is FINALLY open, seriously, like people don't need a beverage before then? Anyway, what you want to drink this weekend? Miller Lite? Scotch? IPA's? Pale Ale? Wheat Beer? Vodka? Rum?

If you want beer, let me know what you like, if you like something else, just let me know.
Thanks! See you in a bit, gonna be fun hazing your big sister! :+)

So yeah, that should be fun. I promise pictures when I get back.

I leave you with my song of the day, "Nothing is Wrong" by Gomez. In attempting to find a video to go with it, I found this tribute to Jim Halpert set to the song. It's a combination of 2 really great things that make my day. Happy Thursday. Office, come back soon.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

My thoughts exactly.

This is the funniest thing I've read in awhile.

I get you, man. I really do.

A much longer post coming whenever I get around to finishing it.

WEATHER ALERT: Winter storm watch
Get ready for snow on the first day of spring; 6 inches or more before it's over on Friday.

Suddenly, the above article is less "ha ha" funny, and way more "I am going to fucking kill somebody" funny.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Rejected drafts of my letter of resignation

Dear bossman-

Take this job and shove it.

(Too rude.)

To whom it may concern:

Peace out, suckas!!!!!

(Too informal.)

Dear friends,

Good luck finding someone as fun as me!

(Not even remotely true, since they've already found my replacement and she's awesome.)

To: My boss
From: Rachel

I'm only sort of sad to leave. Feel free to keep sending me paychecks, because that is what I'll miss the most.

(Too mean.)

The real version in my head sounds a lot like "HOLY SHIT! I've been here for four years. What is life like on the outside? Can someone hold my hand and tell me I'm doing the right thing?"

PS- another song of the day, because I'm obsessed with Kate Nash this week. It's called Pumpkin Soup, and I'm not sure why, but I don't question the good stuff.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Mockery makes it better

If you know me, you know that if I can mock something, then I feel better, because it shows off my obvious superiority.

Therefore, I must mock my weekend. Because it caused a massive, massive meltdown that just now in the last 10 mins. became okay.

I went to a job fair on Saturday morning. So Saturday morning, when every other person in Chicago was wearing green and drinking in the morning, I had on a suit and heels and I was trying to act like a professional. And I had to pretend like I was happy about it.

Then I got there, and this crack whore* told me that she wouldn't hire me as a teacher, never mind my master's degree, because I have no experience. Whatever, I don't want to work for her stupid company anyway.**

Then I met this cute little nun who definitely wants to hire me, but when I found out what Catholic schools pay, I realized that sure, yeah, I'd get in good with God and all- he may even let some stuff slide like the meat on Friday thing, but God Favors don't pay my bills.*** So sorry Jesus, but I won't be teaching kiddies your story because I am just too damn greedy and I like pretty things. Plus, you just made a whole bunch of new rules, and wasn't there something about poverty in there? Practice what you preach, dude.

To sum up: Job fairs are dumb, and I'm still going to hell. How were your weekends?

*Calling her a crack whore was what made me feel a lot better. I'm sure she's actually a very nice person.
**Obviously, because she's a crack whore. Duh.
***I made up the term God Favors for the purpose of this post, but I'm pretty sure that's how the church made all of it's money in the dark ages. Or something. I'm really good at history.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Reflections of...

Today is my nephew's 9th birthday. And it just may be the day the Blaire officially becomes an auntie. There's something poetic about that.

I can't believe it's been 9 years since he was born. It doesn't seem that long ago, but when I look back at it, I was still living in the dorms. I couldn't buy beer without pretending to be my sister. I didn't have any idea what life would be like if I wasn't in school. (Wait, that's not so different.)

Becoming an auntie was very important to me. I was thrilled. And I have been excited for every subsequent kid that my brothers have had. They are all amazing, and I would do anything for them, and it's fascinating to watch them turn from infants into young people with opinions and dreams of their own. (Ok, they're still pretty young so those dreams so far are things like becoming princesses or getting rocket launchers from Santa, but still. The things they come up with on their own...)

He doesn't know this, but the oldest one? Gave me the best compliment of my life when he was 4. My sister was over there, and one of his toys had a piece fall off, so he asked her to fix it. As she was doing it, he asked her if she was good at fixing things, and she said yes. He said, "You're good at fixing things, and Rachel is good at making me laugh and feel better."

He got my card, and the Borders gift card I sent him on Monday. He left me the best voicemail ever- he keeps saying, "That's all I have to say...ummm...I miss you! Umm....I had school today... um, I don't know what I'm going to buy at Borders...ummm" and it goes on and on and on. It makes me sad that they live far away. When I'm rich and have my own plane to fly me wherever I want to go, I'll see them more often. I swear.

Oh crap. As I was typing, Marisa just called. I didn't realize she was already in Chicago. My plans to go home, work out, watch Lost and pass out may have just been compromised. Lock up your liquor cabinets, people!

Your song of the day: Foundations by Kate Nash. Just because it's stuck in my head and I love it.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Consider yourselves warned

Dear weather predicting people of Chicago:

You told me it was going to warm up today.


You are on the shit list.

Just thought you should know.

Procrastination is not a hobby

Last night was my last night of class. I want to say "EVER." but that would probably be a lie. But for awhile. I have at least 3 weeks before I need to go back, but that's not even a real class. I'm not sure what it is yet. They are not all that forthcoming with the information.

After class, I went out to dinner with Beth and Laura. We're chatting, catching up on each other's lives, etc, when Laura says, "So what are you doing with the rest of the week?" And I had no idea. It's such a weird feeling to not always be squeezing in some reading, or getting ahead on this project or that proofreading. I always have a weird day of feeling like, "Hm. I know I used to have hobbies. What were they again? I should pick some of that stuff back up...after I take a quick nap." And a week later I usually don't have much to show for my time, except for feeling less stressed. I do like that part of it.

Then I remembered that I have a whole list of stuff I need to accomplish, right here on this here blog. Then I looked at my planner and realized that I also have my sister's bachelorette party next weekend, and I've done very little planning for it. Whoops. I can't say much more than that, because it's a surprise, but it's going to be awesome.

AND, I'm learning how to ski while I'm out there. Figured it would probably be best to do that before my good health insurance goes out the window. Someone has to pay for broken bones. Hopefully, it won't be me.

I quit the j-o-b in 2.5 weeks. Crazy!

I met some of the kids I'll be teaching yesterday. One little guy was telling me about himself, and his sister. "She's five, and I'm five, too. That's how twins work." Thank god he told me, I've been trying to work that out for YEARS.

I leave you with yet another example of a famous person who keeps trying to make out with me.

Nevermind all of the other people in that video. He's talking to me. That's why he says, "You".

Friday, March 7, 2008

My blog, my rules

I've been sitting here with my usual Friday afternoon boredom trying to decide what I want to blog about. I'm trying to cut back on the stream of consciousness stuff that doesn't make sense. Ladies and gentlemen, today's theme is:

Things I have done today to make myself laugh!!!!!

I know you're dying to hear this.

#1- I told my germophobe co-worker that I would lick her. She was asking for it.

This was following a massive coughing fit. (I'm STILL SICK. I think this cold has it out for me. But I'm combining drugs and in a really good mood today, so everything is ok.)

#2- Worked out some WWE moves with my boss as a demonstration for Shaynea. Then the two of us giggled like schoolgirls. And then pretended to slam each other's faces into my cube wall again. Have I mentioned that I love my boss?

#3- My boss was asking me for help with something, and I looked him straight in the eye and said, "This sucks. I quit."

(Yet ANOTHER announcement was made about me leaving to the entire company yesterday. Seriously, people who keep doing that? STOP STEALING MY THUNDER. Every time I walk into the break room, someone looks at me funny and asks me when my last day is.)

#4- I bought my nephew a b-day card with a secret code in it. He's turning 9, he'll love it. The message in the card says something lame about the b-day boy being awesome (he doesn't know about this blog, I'm not giving anything away here) so I added happy birthday, then I told him he is silly, and that he should give his dad a noogie. I'm the best aunt EVER.

#5- Because I've been down with the sickness, things like laundry have sort of fallen by the wayside. So today, I'm wearing two different socks. This morning, I was searching and searching and eventually hit up the single sock pile that lives on top of my dresser and went, "Eh, you're both black."

#6- Told two different people about the sock situation. Because you can't keep news like that to yourself.

#7- Decided that I need to blog at least 5 times a week. I have a blog, I have plenty to say, I need to combine these things.

Oh, and speaking of...when I was in LA, I saw my fabulous friend, the Rock Star, Miss Ami B. She had a blog request- that I write about why I don't want to date the father of one of my students. (Hypothetically. This is not something I've actually been asked to do. At this time.)

Dear Ami,

Ew. I'm too young for that shit.

Let's stick to problems I already have without inviting trouble, mmmkay?


Spring Chicken

PS- I just got the spins. Maybe I shouldn't be mixing my cold meds. But it's still funny.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

This sounds like trouble

Um, I'm pretty sure that my little brother could potentially have a hand in this. Scary shit. But seriously, 4 grand and (I'm assuming) a nice hotel room in Seattle? I've had worse offers.

So yeah...a little nervous about the unemployed thing, how could you tell?

Also- tee hee, "Dr." Patrick Duffy.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Feelin' Good (for now)

Dear diary-

Life is just crazy! I have the plague. Ok fine, that's being overdramatic, but I'm sick. And sick of being sick. Even after taking my sister's advice of eating raw garlic. I ate more last night, and it cleared my sinuses, but all that crap just moved into my chest. It's really gross and I can still taste the garlic in the back of my throat. I wouldn't sit too close to me if I were you. I probably stink.

That's boring. Moving on.

Here goes one story- 2 1/2 weeks ago, I accomplished one of my goals! I cut my hair and donated it to Beautiful Lengths. I went with them instead of Locks for Love because I read that LFL receives more hair than they can use AND because BL only needs 8 inches to make a wig. I still sent them 10 inches of hair, but they'll probably need to trim those last two inches because I was in dire need of a trim. Anyway, it was when I decided I needed to just suck it up and do it that I realized I really didn't want to, but I did it anyway. Shaynea showed up to hold my hand, and I won't deny that when it was done, I was teary-eyed. I didn't want a bob haircut, but that's what I got. It should be grown out pretty soon, and everyone has been telling me that they like it. I'm getting used to it, but it sucks to have to think about your hair. Before, it was just a pony tail. The thing I like is the idea that some kid out there doesn't have to be bald, and can cover up because I helped out. Good luck with the hair, kid. Watch out for humid days, this hair doesn't really like those. At all.

The creepy part was that I had to mail it myself, and because of President's Day, I ended up having to carry around the envelope for like 3 days. I kept thinking that if I got mugged, the guy would be totally creeped out to find a big pile of hair hiding in my backpack.

The other goal I have accomplished is that I went to a fun Korean bar in LA and did some karaoke! Kind of a lot, actually. Jean was fabulous and rented us our own private room (after making a really good dinner) and we got some beer and soju (that's probably spelled wrong, but it's Korean booze) and went to town. I got really shy every time the waiter came in, but as the night went on, and more of Jean's friends showed up, I was okay. We even got Kristin to do a solo. I should have made a list, but a few songs I sang were: Somebody Told Me, Walking After Midnight, Material Girl, and Addicted. (I just like the part where he says, "I'm a dick!") Jean and I finished it up with a Beautiful Liar duet- she was Shakira, I was Beyonce. So three down in my first month. The other ones probably won't be quite so easy, but I'm getting there.

Leap Day 08 was awesome. Leap Boy was Jason, a black, gay opera singer. So our day of fun had a soundtrack with some amazing vocals interspersed with all of the giggling and making asses of ourselves. Blaire, the married lady, attempted to bring home our waiter from brunch, but I think he was a little thrown by how seriously we took Leap Day. Loser. But she did videotape him bending over a table, so his ass has been immortalized. Right after Skylar explaining that she can drink whisky in the morning because she's a cowboy, and then she busts out her harmonica. It was awesome. I was not really on board with videotaping the day until I saw the playback and laughed just as hard the second time around.

But a quick note: Do not see Semi Pro. It is NOT GOOD. I had to watch Anchorman to remind myself that Will Ferrel really is funny. Because in that movie, he is not. The best part of the movie was the previews- there IS a Harold and Kumar sequel, and it DOES include NPH on a unicorn. Just thinking about it (and Meryn's reaction to the unicorn) makes me happy.

Anyway, things are nuts for now- I quit this job in 3.5 weeks (something else I can cross off the list!) and getting ready for student teaching is surprisingly time consuming. But for the most part, I can sum up my life with this song. I rediscovered it today, and I really liked that song in high school. I also loved that the album was called "Cockamamie" which was, and always will be one of my favorite words. Ever.



PS- this is for Lost fans with too much time on their hands. Funny, but SERIOUSLY- way too much time on their hands.