Ladies and gentlemen,
I wanted to take this formal opportunity to announce that as of this moment, I QUIT THIS WEEK. (I'm quitting the WEEK, not any sort of job or anything. I can do that, right? Just call it over?)
The first thing is that after a few weeks of calm, spring has sprung and my kids went balls out cuckoo for cocoa puffs. I'm done with them. They make me so tired, and less able to deal with other stressors. Such as...
I had 2 little boys, probably about 7, spying on me while I was in the shower. Good thing I've perfected my mean teacher voice. Also, I told my neighbors, who are totally okay with turning the hose on them if they ever show up in the yard again. Also, if anyone reading this knows my dad, DO NOT TELL HIM THIS STORY. He will show up here with a baseball bat, and that's just bad for neighborhood relations.
But wait! I'm not done. I was just out riding my bike, picking up my groceries like I do, when I officially joined the Urban Cyclist club. How did I do that? I GOT DOORED. You guys? That shit hurts. I was fine, but now it's about an hour later and everything is starting to hurt, and I think I may have more bruises than I realized. My head actually hit a minivan. Yes, I was wearing my helmet, and more importantly, yes, the bottle of wine in my backpack remained intact. But SERIOUSLY.
So there it is. My letter of resignation from this week. I will be in my house ignoring the world until tomorrow. Next week has to be better, right?
SOTD: It Sucks to Be Me from Avenue Q. On the upside, I saw this yesterday and if you have a chance, I highly recommend it. Things you can learn: The internet is really great for porn, it's okay to be gay, how pervy you'll feel watching puppets have sex (true!), and that Glenn Beck is only for now. Oh, and that everyone is racist.