DOUCHE!!!!

I'm A BIT DRUNK and for a second I couldn't turn off the caps. Funny, right?

But blog readers, get THIS: I was totally just hit on by the biggest douche EVER. I'm all out eatin' dinner with Shaynea, and then we decide that a few bottles of wine are a good idea in public, and then these dudes pull their table up to ours with some phenomenal guac, and I'm nothing if not a sucker for guac, and then the next thing I know, dude sitting next to me is all, "I think you're awesome* but can I be honest with you? I totally want to take you home tonight, but my gf is having my baby in 3 weeks and then I'm going to have a baby boy."

And I'm all scooting 10 feet away and saying, "I think it sounds like you have a lot on your plate" and trying to escape and he's all, "But I'm super attracted to you**!" and I'm like, "Dude, I think you have issues."

For real universe? This is what you're giving me? Are you trying to turn me into a cat lady?

SOTD: Baby Mama by Three 6 Mafia. For reals, WTF?!??!?!?! Universe, I just don't understand waht you're trying to tell me.

*I swear I'm not conceited, this is what he said to stroke my ego, I did nothing to provoke it.

** At this point, his flattery (while GREAT for the ego) was super creepy and I was running away and siccing him on Shaynea who was a phenomenal wingwoman.

And I may or may not delete this later, but I could not f'n believe this evening. Gross.

UPDATE: I just came back to this, considering deleting it, but you know what? I'm a funny rambly drunk, and everything you see here is true so whatever. I mean, it's morning now and I mostly feel sorry for this guy who is obviously a mess, but that will not stop the mockery!