Just dance.

Dear Lady Gaga,

(If that is, in fact, your real name.) So you wrote a song about being drunk. I'm not going to pretend I haven't been there. Sucks that you lost your keys and your phone already. But this song gets stuck in my head, and then I look at you, and for some reason you annoy the shit out of me and I can't exactly explain why. It means I hate it, and this has been going on for entirely too long. Like you, I also wish I could shut your playboy mouth.

(No seriously. But what does that even mean?) If you want to expose yourself to this madness, click here.

XOXO,

Rachel

I couldn't handle the neti pot picture first up there anymore. You might think that is water coming out of her nostril, but you would be mistaken.

Oh NO she di'int!

Oh hell to the no! I totally just stole this picture from someone else's blog, but seriously- I can barely even TALK about the Neti Pot thing, but to actually do it in public? You have got to be f'n kidding me!
No seriously, I'm concerned. It's obvious that this woman is in need of some friends to stop this insanity. I say we look her up and stage an intervention. This is SO not okay.

#29- Mission Abort

I just sort of looked at the calendar and realized that I'm totally under the gun on accomplishing my 30 things, so I took a good look at what's left, and made plans to go ice skating at Millenium Park. But then I fell down my front steps (yes, ALL of them) and decided that since my entire left cheek is already bruised, I may be putting that one off. BUT, I'm learning to drive stick tonight from Blaire and quite frankly, I wish I could rig a camera to the mirrors, because I think it's going to be hysterical. Wish us both luck!

SOTD: Fallin' by Alicia Keys. Yes, I hit every step on the way down. Yes, I also wish I had a video of that because I was holding an unsealed box full of stuff that all went flying so I bet it was hilarious.

Yes We Can.

Happy Inauguration Day.

I think my thoughts on today are best summarized by this story from school today.

We went to watch a part of the ceremony in the gym with the "big kids" for a few mins, because that was all the time we had. After the swearing in, when Obama began his speech, one of my 5-year-old boys stood up and put his hand over his heart, like he was about to say the Pledge of Allegiance. He stood there like that until we had to go, but I thought it was amazing that a 5-year-old would be moved like that. I told his mom, and she had tears in her eyes. I just hope that he'll be able to remember this and put it in perspective when he's older.

SOTD: Yes We Can by will.i.am and a whole bunch of other people, including my bf John Legend. I know it's old, and I heard there's a new one out today, but I still dig it.

Yikes.

Perhaps a little insight into why I am the way I am:

I was talking to my mom last night, just catching up when she says, "Hang on a minute, I have to flash your dad."

Um, what?

He was on the other line, and that's the button she uses to answer his call, but come ON. I told her that next time she needs to re-think her word choice, and then she laughed for about half an hour. Gross.

SOTD: Green Light by John Legend f/Andre 3000. Usually when John Legend is singing to me, he's trying to seduce me a little. On this song, it's not a little bit and he's kind of taunting me...he's got an obsession with us getting down and he's ready to go right now. I defy you to NOT shake your ass to this song. Even Stevie Wonder got down sometimes.

Happy Birthday, Slackey Jay!

I didn't go to Milwaukee this weekend for Slackey Jay's big 30th b-day bash. It was snowy and even Friday I wasn't 100% back from the sickness, so it ended up being a good thing. Instead, I spent the day disinfecting my apt. like a psychotic germophobe- it felt gooooood.

But back to the real reason I'm posting today- today is Jay's REAL b-day. B-day blogs tend to be sappy or mocking, and I was trying to come up with my favorite drunk college story about Jay, and even though there was the time that I dumped an entire box of cereal in his bed and he didn't yell at me, or the fact that I was there right before he went in to clean out the month-old puke from the bathroom, or the POS voting...among many many others...wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, I walked home from school today (it was the last day before it's going to be ungodly cold so I felt like I had to take advantage) and trying to figure out what to say, and just digging Chicago and the fact that I'm here and how much I like it here when I realized that Jay helped me out a lot here. Jay should have invented Facebook- he put me in contact with the person who got me the job that allowed me to move here. It was someone else that he put me back in contact with who introduced me to the roommates I've had now for over 4 years, who have become a HUGE part of my life. He keeps me in touch with people I'd probably forget otherwise. He's one of the first people I knew who had a blog, and he definitely is one of my most loyal readers/commenters.

So Jay, in looking back at your 30 years on this planet, know that you have definitely helped push my life into a way better place than I knew it could be many years ago when I was leaving Milwaukee. Can't wait to see you and Mary in a few weeks at my shindig!

(I did give the sappy warning, right?)

Jay is also a HUGE fan of the SOTD, so we're going to do a double play in his honor.

SOTD #1: Tempted by Squeeze.
SOTD #2: Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes.

These are his two favorite songs to get stuck in his head. Every month or so, a text goes back and forth between us saying something along the lines of "I'm going to WICHITA!" Crap, it's stuck in my head just from grabbing the YouTube. Hope your party was a great time- I expect a blog, complete with pics soon. Oh yeah- and the profile pick was just for you.

Twentysomething

Yesterday, I'm cruising through my CD collection yesterday for something I haven't listened to in awhile, when I stumbled across this little gem I bought back in '04:

Hmm. I should probably listen to this, as I'm watching my friends go down left and right with the crossing over to the next decade. So I put it on, and I'm listening to the song "Twentysomething" and I have a few thoughts. Here's my line-by-line breakdown for your reading pleasure:

After years of expensive education

A car full of books and anticipation

I'm an expert on Shakespeare and that's a hell of a lot

But the world don't need scholars as much as I thought

Yeah, buddy, I feel you on this. I can count on one hand the number of people I knew in undergrad who are working in their "major". Especially the English majors. (That's not me ripping on you, just an observation.)

Maybe I'll go traveling for a year

Finding myself, or start a career

Could work the poor, though I'm hungry for fame

We all seem so different but we're just the same

Weird when you figure that out, isn't it? Also, I no longer feel like going traveling for a year is an option for me- apparently I'm an adult? I'm also not as worried about finding myself as I used to be. Huh.

Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat

Aren't things more easy, with a tight six pack

Shut it, I was busy today.

Who knows the answers, who do you trust

I can't even separate love from lust

Buddy, I sooooo cannot help you with that one. But you should definitely figure that out soon, because it will be useful later.

Maybe I'll move back home and pay off my loans

Working nine to five, answering phones

But don't make me live for Friday nights

Drinking eight pints and getting in fights

Another moment of advice from Auntie Rachel- honey, even people who love their jobs live for Friday nights. Answering phones for a living can suck, though, so maybe go in a different direction. Apparently pseudo rock star is working for you. (I use pseudo because this is in no way rock, and most of the songs on here are covers.) Also, EIGHT pints? Oh, you are twentysomething.

Maybe I'll just fall in love

That could solve it all

Philosophers say that that's enough

Philosophers say a lot of things. I don't think it's going to "solve it all". I hear it's nice, but let's be based in reality, mmmkay?

There surely must be more

Love ain't the answer, nor is work

Oh hey! Maybe you aren't such a dumb kid after all! Oh, you're cute. Here's a lollipop.

The truth eludes me so much it hurts

But I'm still having fun and I guess that's the key

I'm a twentysomething and I'll keep being me

Good call, buddy. Good call. Just keep going, and you'll make it out of your 20's and look back and realize that you had a BLAST, and that what little growing up you may have done really is okay. To the babies who read this: (Tricia and Ashley, I'm looking right at you) Just keep having fun and keep being you.

This is seriously what was going through my mind yesterday while I was listening to this. I never said I was normal OR not condescending.

SOTD: Twentysomething by Jamie Cullum. Duh.

Bonus SOTD: Frontin' the Jamie Cullum version. This kid covering Pharrell killed me then, and I still dig it now. It's the real reason I bought this cd. I do miss the Jay-Z part, though.

Banjo Boy

Here's what you need to know: he's been around for a few weeks and seems to have intentions of sticking around for as long as I let him. (Seems to because he told me so.) He spoils me rotten, and then I call him a suck up, because God forbid I'm nice to him. Then he might think I like him or something, and I have sooooo not owned up to that yet. But, this is how things usually go with this guy: He called me last night to tell me that it would be snowing this morning, and he has to be up anyway, so why doesn't he give me a ride to work? Oh, and he'll pick me up a bagel. Then when he gets here, he's like, "I didn't know if you wanted it toasted so here's one of each and a big bottle of water because you still need to have lots of fluids so you stay feeling better." Seriously, there is no reason to buy 2 bagels, and the water is just thoughtful.

And this is not the first time he's done this. I usually eye him suspiciously, then again tell him he's a suck up. It's an interesting pattern. We'll see how long this lasts.

In other news, I'm for real better today. At least mostly. I skipped work yesterday and slept the day away, but today I was totally all over it.

So there's that. I'm not going to Milwaukee this weekend to celebrate Jay Lackey, so if you are, buy him a shot from me. I'll totally get you back.

SOTD: Keeps Getting Better by Christina Aguilera. In reference to the immune system, not the boy. I can't be that sappy, come on. Also, did anyone else know that the Target commercial is just an ad and not the video? What a waste of time and money! Whatever, I still dig the tune.

So Gross.

So, here I am, still Sicky Sickerson, but home from school today because I just couldn't go in again feeling so bad. I woke up this morning feeling just as horrendous as I have for the past 4 mornings, and I just couldn't deal. I can't sleep through the night, and I was cranky and emotional about it. I re-read the notes from my dr. visit, and remembered that she told me I could try a neti pot. (If you don't know what that is, I'll wait while you google it because I'm too lazy to explain it.) The thought of it grosses me out- every time anyone has ever brought it up to me, I've been like, "Yeah, or I could stick a needle in my eye or eat glass." But this morning? This morning, I was desperate. So I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and got myself to Walgreens to buy this thing, then dragged myself back home, giving myself a pep talk the whole time. "If this helps, it's worth it, right? I bet it's not that weird. You're going to feel so much better- look! The box says instant relief! Doesn't that sound nice?"

Let me tell you something- it was, quite possibly, the nastiest thing I have ever intentionally done to my face. I don't even want to think about what I saw happening, but the word "drainage" has a whole new meaning for me. And it was not instant relief, but you know what? Two hours later, it's like the fog in my brain is lifted and I can function again. I'm not 100% by any means, but I'm not laying here wishing for a fever so that I could get some drugs. (Which is seriously how I've spend a good chunk of the last few days. I'm going cross-eyed from trying to read my thermometer while it's in my mouth.)

I'm going to spend the rest of the day sitting directly on my ass, and making sure I'm really recuperating so that I can go back to school tomorrow like someone who cares, because I really feel like I need to. (Those kids deserve a teacher who actually wants to see them, not one that is sort of hoping they won't talk to her.) But I'm not dying anymore, and that's the important part. Also? The box says there are people who do this daily to keep their sinuses clean, and that is the weirdest shit I have ever heard. People are CRAZY.

Coming soon? Updates you'll actually be interested in, like the introduction of Banjo Boy. (Nickname courtesy of my sister- thanks Sarah!) You may have noticed that I haven't mentioned match in awhile. Also, Captain Obvious challenges you to guess what instrument he plays.

SOTD goes out to my neti pot- You Are the Best Thing by Ray LaMontagne. "You know I need you hear to clear my mind..."

Cranky Ass.

Seriously body? I mean, REALLY? How can you do this to me again?

I'm sick. AGAIN. I feel like 2/3 of this stupid blog is me whining about being sick, but this time I can't even blame the kiddies! I hadn't seen them in 2 weeks when it started. Stupid immune system. And so I went to a dr. yesterday to get a strep test, because my throat hurts like a mutha, and it was negative, and she said it's a virus that takes 2 weeks to get over, and she won't give me any drugs. Stupid throat. And I had to go to work today. (If it had been strep, I would have gotten drugs AND been able to skip school with a clear conscience. Stupid virus.)

Cranky. Ass.

Plus, PLUS, I want to plan my b-day party, but that would require interacting with people and I just don't wanna. But hey- everyone keep Feb 7th open, okay?

Whine whine whine whine whine. This sucks. And if this lasts for 2 whole weeks? Oh, AND she said that at some point, I'll probably lose my voice. Um, hi- I spend my days in a room full of 3 and 4 year-olds...let me tell you how well I think me not being able to talk will go. Stupid virus. Viruses ruin EVERYTHING.

I'm totally pouting just typing this. Time for bed. (It is, after all 7:15. Who needs to see 8?)

SOTD: Down with the Sickness. Again, because it makes me happy right now how pissed off that guy is.

Also, honorable mention SOTD, compliments of Jay Lackey, who's 30th b-day I will be celebrating in Milwaukee this weekend, virus pending: Groove is in the Heart by Deee-lite. Groove is in the Heart, sickness is in my throat and I have a blog to whine about it. Try not to be too jealous of my fabulous life.

Happy New Year!

So, it's 2009 and...am I supposed to be excited? I don't know, it felt very ho hum this year. I know next to no one who did anything out of the ordinary. I had a good night, but not a super exciting one- I drank wine and talked about boys and life with a group of girls. We totally missed the whole countdown thing because we weren't paying attention.

I didn't make any resolutions, because I figure I have a list here of 30 things I'm doing to attempt to change/improve my life, and I've done 16 of them now. Oh- AND the weight loss one? I'm halfway there. I know that may not seem like a big deal, but believe me it IS. I probably won't make the second 15 by my b-day, but I went jeans shopping the other day and didn't want to kill myself, so I'm calling it progress.

Someone tell me a good NYE story. I could use a little scandal up in here.

I'm completely unmotivated to leave my couch today. My couch is a happy place.

SOTD: A Kiss is Not a Contract by Flight of the Conchords. (But it's very nice.) They call it a fly because it takes you up to heaven.