Dear Lady Gaga,
(If that is, in fact, your real name.) So you wrote a song about being drunk. I'm not going to pretend I haven't been there. Sucks that you lost your keys and your phone already. But this song gets stuck in my head, and then I look at you, and for some reason you annoy the shit out of me and I can't exactly explain why. It means I hate it, and this has been going on for entirely too long. Like you, I also wish I could shut your playboy mouth.
(No seriously. But what does that even mean?) If you want to expose yourself to this madness, click here.
I couldn't handle the neti pot picture first up there anymore. You might think that is water coming out of her nostril, but you would be mistaken.