Friday, August 21, 2009

For Posterity

I'm standing up in yet another wedding tomorrow. (This is my 9th for those of you keeping score at home.) I just got home from the rehearsal, and there are a few things I want to document, lest I forget them:

#1: The bride's parents are both deaf. The groom's dad learned his speech tonight in sign language. If that doesn't at least make you misty, you may not be human.

#2: The priest was running us through the mass.

Priest: Gospel, homily, you know, the boring stuff.

Other Hilarious Bridesmaid: Homilies are my jam, yo.

Me: *Completely losing my shit* And never really regaining it, when tales turn to dipping a communion host in guac, then doing a slip'n slide through the altar as an alternate means of ending the ceremony. Also, trying to convince a separate engaged couple to say "Ditto" every time the couple getting married says anything so that they can save themselves the hassle of a big wedding. These are good ideas!!!!

#3: I'm not even kidding about wanting the bride's sister-in-law to be my friend for real. I just had a dance party with her and a whole lotta relatives who were a really good time. Including 2 deaf uncles who told me that my shoes were hot.

Tomorrow is going to be so fun. I'd better get some sleep.

SOTD: Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough by Michael Jackson. Am I being trendy with the MJ stuff? No, it was the last song the groom's father played from his iPod when they called last call. Who's jealous that I still have another night of partying ahead of me? I'm off to drink some water and cut up fruit, because I offered to bring breakfast tomorrow.

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