Sunday, August 3, 2008

Drunk chicks

Remember how I was all sad because I gave up all of my classic drunken texts? And I asked you guys to help me out?

Well, let me tell you something- you have been USELESS as far as that is concerned. Seriously, it's like you all got old and stopped being ridiculous. So being the leader that I am, on Friday, I took matters into my own hands and tried a new Mexican place with Skylar because we heard that the margaritas were phenomenal.

They are. After 2 of them, it was approximately 8:30 and we were bombed but it was OBVIOUSLY too early to go home so we left and went to another bar. Since I was helping Tim celebrate his birthday, I was texting him all night to let him know how the Chicago celebration was going, and good news! My new phone has a sent folder for text messages so that I can look back and see exactly how much of an asshole I really am.

We were at the 2nd bar, having a few beers (duh) and we started talking to some Canadian dudes who were sitting behind us. I was arguing for way too long about whether the word sombrero means hat in Spanish, and we went so far as to ask the busboy to help us settle the bet. (I won, but seriously? Racist! Who actually drags the busboy into the discussion?) Then we went inside- something about noise laws, and Skylar went to pee. At one point Canadian #1 was all, "Um, do you think you should check on your friend?" And I'm like, "Nah, she's good. I'm not worried about her at all, I'm sure she's fine." About 30 seconds later our waitress comes over and says, "Hey, your friend is stumbling around in the bathroom you should probably check on her." So I crack up and head down, and yeah....she is in bad shape. So I hold her hair for a minute, then put some paper towels on her face and go back upstairs to pay our tab. But I insisted on finishing my beer first. (Again, who DOES that?) So then I dragged Sky home and dropped her in my bed with some water, and slept on the couch. That's sort of weird, normally I'd just crawl in with her, but my spidey senses must have been tingling because in the morning she came out with all of my sheets in her arms and said, "Me and your sheets are going to take a little shower." Because she puked. In my bed.

She felt horrible, but I couldn't stop laughing. The poor kid was sick for most of the day yesterday.

I had a text from Tim when I woke up that said, "I just forwarded that to your sister." and I thought, "Oh shit, what was the last thing I sent?" It was:

"Give in to the roofies. You'll like it, I promise. Sky is passed out in my bed."

Seriously, it sounds like I'm simultaneously trying to molest Tim AND that I already did violate Skylar. Ew. What is wrong with me? In my defense, I was not the one who mentioned roofies first, but come ON.

So yeah...I'm off the sauce for at least the next few days. How were your weekends?

Song of the day: The Garden by Mirah. I'm obsessed with this song...after seeing it on So You Think You Can Dance with my roommate. But that doesn't mean it's not an awesome song. Just that it's sad that I now get my hip music choices from an obnoxious reality show.


Tyrel Beutler said...

I vote you start wearing a bridesmaid dress out to the bar on random weekends. You could create some back story about getting in a fight at the wedding or something - that could lead to some craziness. I think that would be way cooler than using your newfound sewing skills to reuse a dress somehow.

Rachel said...

I'm pretty sure that sending the psycho message up front is not my best bet.